8/23/16 – Keepers Due Next Week!!!

Bozo of the week


Shakes the clown.png


Third Runner Up:


Come on, man… this ISN’T Jackass the movie.
Making the Boston area look nationwide just how the nation thinks of the Boston Area already…


Second Runner Up:


Todd Marinovich is why Stage Parenting an awful, terrible, no good, very BAD idea.


First Runner Up:


Come on… do I even have to say it? Swimmer for #Murica, Ryan Lochte is used to getting the silver, but this time it’s in shame.
He thought his story of getting robbed at a gas station in Rio would fly because:
Murica 4.jpgMurica.jpg
Murica 7.jpgMurica 1.gif


Listen, the most embarrassing thing about the whole Ryan Lochte research is that I learned that he went to my school (U of Florida) and actually GRADUATED from there. Nothing like cheapening the worth of that diploma, eh?


You were in Brazil, you went out with your boys, you got hammered, you may or may not have had a romantic spell with party goers, someone needed to relieve themselves after the party on the way home, you were still drunk and broke a door. No one… NO ONE is going to think that’s a big deal if you explained it that way.
Jules.jpg


BUT, saying you went all ‘Jules Winnfield’ and were like ‘whatever’ when a guy put a gun to your forehead set off everyone’s BS detector. Now, you embarrassed US Swimming, the USOC, the Olympics, Rio police, NBC, the Today Show, and all of your sponsors… who are now dropping you like a bad habit.


And he WOULD have won this week, except for the fact that his crime was of stupidity and only really ended up hurting himself. HOWEVA… he didn’t even do the worst thing in the swimming world this week…


Winner:


David Becker


I guess sexual assault of unconscious women by a swimmer isn’t just for Stanford attendees anymore…


The EAST LONGMEADOW swimmer had his case continued for 2 years with no findings, but put on probation for that time. The story from MassLive.com reads like a horror story if you’re a parent of a girl. I don’t know what exactly is going to have to happen to make lawmakers and judges start taking this crime seriously. Maybe one of their children will have to be subjected to this horrible offense. His lawyer’s statement is terrible, the judge’s decision incomprehensible.



This… THIS is the world we live in?


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In the College Game:


Your NCAA Football rankings are out. Alabama and Clemson are #1 and #2. The biggest surprise? Um, Tennessee is somehow #9 or 10 (depending on AP v Coaches).
Since 2008, here is what they’ve done: 5-7, 7-6, 6-7, 5-7, 5-7, 5-7, 7-6, 9-4. That’s not too great except for last year. Remember, they also play in the SEC, which means they usually have 7 or 8 home games AND they play 2 games against teams like UAB, Wyoming, Ohio, Western Kentucky, Tennessee-Martin, Montana, Buffalo, Middle Tennessee State, Akron, Troy, South Alabama, Utah State, Arkansas State, UT Chattanooga, Western Carolina and North Texas. Do you know how BAD you have to be to accumulate those records with all of those advantages built in?


Soccer Haircut of the week:


Arturo Vidal (Midfield for Bayern Munich & 2 time Copa America winners – Chile)
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You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:


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The Summer of Gronk


He’s missed 3 straight practices…


With not a ton going on in Gronk-world, we will instead talk about something completely different!


Well, this happened 15 years ago!
Milk-O-Mania is running wild! The Million Dollar Princess has become the Dairy Queen!!!


Around the League:


Suspensions/Injuries:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)



All injuries will be listed in the link above… I’m not putting anything else on here unless it’s major… Like Tom Brady slicing his thumb with a pair of scissors while trying to remove something off of his cleat.


Dez Bryant (WR, Dal) Concussion – Should be out for rest of preseason
Jared Goff (QB, LA) Sore shoulder, should be OK
Carson Wentz (QB, Phi) Hairline fracture of ribs, out 4+ weeks
Malcolm Mitchell (WR, NE) dislocated elbow, out 4 weeks
Bennie Fowler (WR, Den) fractured elbow, out 4 weeks
IK Enemkpali (DL, Buf) Torn ACL, out for season
Reggie Ragland (LB, Buf) Torn ACL, out for season
Shaq Lawson (DE, Buf) Shoulder surgery, On PUP List, out until October.
Sammy Watkins (WR, Buf) recovering from May broken foot.
Julian Edelman (WR, NE) Left practice with an apparent injury to his surgically repaired left foot.
Rob Ninkovich (LB/DE, NE) Left practice and training staffs were looking at his triceps.
Jordan Matthews (WR, Phi) has a left knee bone bruise.
Zach Ertz (TE, Phi) Was evaluated for a concussion and cleared by team doctors.
Hroniss Grasu (C, Chi) The starting center has a torn ACL in his right knee and is out for year.
Lance Moore (WR, FA) Announced his retirement after a 10 year career.
Eric Ebron (TE, Det) Was carted off of the field with what is being described as an Achilles injury.
Eric Rogers (WR, SF) Torn ACL, out for season
Jay Ajayi (RB, Mia) Day to Day, knee bruise.
DeVante Parker (WR, Mia) missed 3 practices with a Hamstring strain.
Chris Hogan (WR, NE) Minor shoulder injury, practicing with non-contact jersey.
Ezekiel Elliott (RB, Dal) Hamstring injury, day to day.


8/2
Kellen Moore, backup to Fat Tony Romo, broke his right ankle in practice when it got rolled on at the line of scrimmage. Broken bones are normally a 4-6 week proposition, but I’m thinking closer to 6-8
Le’Veon Bell (RB, Pit) – 4, SAP
Josh Gordon (WR, Cle) – 4, SAP
Tom Brady (QB, NE)  – 4, BS
Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) 16, SAP                    
Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) 4, SAP  
Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) 4, SAP                      
Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) 3, PED
Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) 10, PED                           
Tim Wright (TE, Det) 16, torn ACL.
Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely, SA


Other News:


The LOS ANGELES Rams have a defensive lineman, William Hayes, who has some interesting theories on the world… namely, he believes that dinosaurs never existed and that mermaids DO… and he got some PROOF of the latter when Ariel showed up to practice on Monday!!!


KEEPERS DUE:


Your 2 keepers are due by NEXT week: 8/31 !!!


The Great Roster Freeze:


If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.


Draft Order


The season begins Thursday 9/8 (just 2 weeks), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.


7/28


Well, lookie here:


This does not mean that the time can’t be moved, it just means that we have our traditional date of the night before the beginning of the season as our draft night confirmed. If anyone can’t make it, I will try to move it to accommodate everyone.


If this date holds, your TWO keepers are due on 8/31. Cross your fingers for no injuries or substance abuse suspensions or domestic violence suspensions or football inflation related suspensions.


Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)   Jodie
2)   Marc
3)   Doug
4)   Brian
5)   Kim
6)   Greg
7)   Chris
8)   Ed
9)   Norm
10) Dave
11) Mike
12) Dan


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!


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The Commish

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Hall of Fame Week!!! 8/16/2016

Bozo of the week

Harley-Quinn-Movie-Hammer-Mallet.jpg

First Runner Up:
The Rio Olympics

Crazy stuff just keeps happening.
The water in the pools keeps turning green and there are more and more explanations that are wrong each time by the organizers.

The CBC confused Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps during the 200M IM and the announcers thought that Lochte won. (To be fair, they were in the lanes right next to each other)

Ryan Lochte may or may not have been held up at gunpoint after his final swim.

Another CBC announcer said something into a hot mic that he wishes he didn’t during the swimming competition.

An Egyptian Judo competitor lost to, then refused to shake the hand of an Israeli Judoka.

A kayaker capsized when he hit: a sofa.

Winner:
The NFL

You have one… ONE game that is played in Canton, OH all year. You have a Hall of Fame class that includes:
Brett Favre (he of the will he or won’t he retirement tour and Jets’ penis picture sexting controversy with FSU cowgirl and Jets reporter Jenn Sterger). He also wasn’t as good in the playoffs as you may think he was. TONS of season ending interceptions. Ridiculous interceptions…
Marvin Harrison (who reportedly unloaded two guns into a guy’s car in broad daylight in Philadelphia… the guy survived then but was later murdered when outside of a Harrison establishment and the security tape has minutes missing on it [during the murder])
Eddie DeBartolo Jr. (who flagrantly skirted the salary cap rules to keep the 49ers contending for much longer than they would have in the 80s & early 90s)
Tony Dungy: Coach TB & Ind.
Kevin Greene: OLB Rams, Steelers, Panthers – 160 career sacks
Orlando Pace: OLT 12 years all with Rams
Dick Stanfel: OL – Det & Wash, 1950’s all decade team
and the late Kenny Stabler. Legendary QB for the Oakland Raiders and the living embodiment of what it meant to live like a Raider. The stories about him are fantastic.

Speaking of the NFL and the content that they put out on AND off of the field, here is a montage of things that were ACTUALLY said to reporters last year by people employed by teams. You can just imagine the reporters stabbing themselves in the neck with their pen and waiting for the sweet, sweet release of death, rather than having to listen to one more second of this drivel.




Wait, Brian Orakpo wants to put in his 2 cents… and so does Sebastian Vettel.


This… THIS is the world we live in?

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In the College Game:

The Air Force Academy unveiled a sweet new helmet that they’ll wear for one game this year.

Lots of teams have sweet new threads.

Soccer Haircut of the week:

A triple shot of Manchester United/France midfielder Paul Pogba. I know he was just on here 2 weeks ago, but when you become the world’s most expensive transfer, moving from Juventus (Turin, Italy) to Manchester United (Manchester, England) at € 105 Million/ £ 89 Million, you get #Respect.
The irony here is that Pogba, 23, was previously AT Manchester United and was let go for FREE just 4 years ago. How much does THAT have to sting? Here were your options:
  1. You could have kept him, played him and saved lots of cash.
  2. You could have kept him and ‘sold’ him and received lots of cash.
  3. Let him go, NOT buy him back, and spend that money on 3-4 other world class players… OR
  4. You could do what you did… let him go for free, then spend $116.5 MILLION US Dollars to get him back to play for you.

1 Pogba.jpg
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You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:

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The Summer of Gronk

Gronk came into camp at his playing weight of 265 and is trying something different this year: Instead of coming in overweight and losing, he’s coming in at weight and eating more to keep weight on. To no one’s surprise, he’s a steak and potatoes man

Also, to no one’s surprise, he loved Ben Affleck’s rant on Any Given Wednesday about Ballghazi… or as everyone else calls it: Deflategate.

He is one of 4 players to get a full ‘99’ score on the ‘Madden 17’ video game. The others were Von Miller, Luke Keuchly, and JJ Watt… he of the ‘minimalist cabin’

Around the League:

Suspensions/Injuries:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)


Jared Goff (QB, LA) Sore shoulder, should be OK
Carson Wentz (QB, Phi) Hairline fracture of ribs, out 4+ weeks
Malcolm Mitchell (WR, NE) dislocated elbow, out 4 weeks
Bennie Fowler (WR, Den) fractured elbow, out 4 weeks
IK Enemkpali (DL, Buf) Torn ACL, out for season
Reggie Ragland (LB, Buf) Torn ACL, out for season.
Shaq Lawson (DE, Buf) Shoulder surgery, On PUP List, out until October.
Sammy Watkins (WR, Buf) recovering from May broken foot.
Julian Edelman (WR, NE) Left practice with an apparent injury to his surgically repaired left foot.
Rob Ninkovich (LB/DE, NE) Left practice and training staffs were looking at his triceps.
Jordan Matthews (WR, Phi) has a left knee bone bruise.
Zach Ertz (TE, Phi) Was evaluated for a concussion and cleared by team doctors.
Hroniss Grasu (C, Chi) The starting center has a torn ACL in his right knee and is out for year.
Lance Moore (WR, FA) Announced his retirement after a 10 year career.
Eric Ebron (TE, Det) Was carted off of the field with what is being described as an Achilles injury.
Eric Rogers (WR, SF) Torn ACL, out for season.
Jay Ajayi (RB, Mia) Day to Day, knee bruise.
DeVante Parker (WR, Mia) missed 3 practices with a Hamstring strain.
Chris Hogan (WR, NE) Minor shoulder injury, practicing with non-contact jersey.
Ezekiel Elliott (RB, Dal) Hamstring injury, day to day.

8/2
Kellen Moore, backup to Fat Tony Romo, broke his right ankle in practice when it got rolled on at the line of scrimmage. Broken bones are normally a 4-6 week proposition, but I’m thinking closer to 6-8
Le’Veon Bell (RB, Pit) – 4, SAP
Josh Gordon (WR, Cle) – 4, SAP
Tom Brady (QB, NE)  – 4, BS
Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) 16, SAP                    Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) 4, SAP  
Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) 4, SAP                      Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) 3, PED
Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) 10, PED                           Tim Wright (TE, Det) 16, torn ACL.
Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely, SA

Other News:

Do you know who’s fired up for Julio Jones this year? Nature Boy Ric Flair, THAT’S WOOOOOOOOOOO

I would suggest reading up on what has happened in the off season by looking at Deadspin’s excellent: Why Your Team Sucks. It is a series of articles that is what it sounds like.

The Great Roster Freeze:

If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.

Draft Order

The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.

7/28

Well, lookie here:

This does not mean that the time can’t be moved, it just means that we have our traditional date of the night before the beginning of the season as our draft night confirmed. If anyone can’t make it, I will try to move it to accommodate everyone.
If this date holds, your TWO keepers are due on 8/31. Cross your fingers for no injuries or substance abuse suspensions or domestic violence suspensions or football inflation related suspensions.

Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)   Jodie
2)   Marc
3)   Doug
4)   Brian
5)   Kim
6)   Greg
7)   Chris
8)   Ed
9)   Norm
10) Dave
11) Mike
12) Dan

Dennis Green Memorial Patch

Good Luck to All!!!

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The Commish

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One Month LEFT!!

Bozo of the week



First Runner Up:



Florida
Crazy-Florida.jpg



We haven’t checked in with out most insane state in a while. Let’s see what they’re up to:
These are ALL headlines:





















And just when you thought it couldn’t get much worse, THIS happens:



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Who attacks a flamingo at an amusement park? I mean, HONESTLY?!?



Winner:
You should know by now: The RIO OLYMPIC Organizers!!!



I’ve done some extensive clowning on the Rio Olympic organizers in the previous couple of weeks, but there is ALWAYS more and more news coming out of this traveshamockery:



  1. They have two gates to allow people into or out of the Olympic stadium. This seems odd for a couple of reasons: Fire codes? How can you funnel the capacity of the stadium (with security checks) through only 2 gates? How many renovations have been done to that stadium that once held the 1950 world cup final with an official attendance of 199,854 with estimated real attendance of 210,000 where now, Olympic organizers say 78,838,000, the BBC estimated 78000+ at the opening ceremony. Well, for the first event of the games (US WNT soccer game, they LOST THE KEYS to one of the gates and had to use BOLT CUTTERS to open that gate.
  2. Much the same way that there was unrest before the World Cup in 2014 by Rio residents, they have been protesting the Olympic torch relay and actually managed to extinguish the torch at one point.
  3. A “Russian diplomat” who was at a torch relay one night had an attempted robbery/carjacking happen to him. What would you do in that case? Well, you’d do exactly what he did: Used jiu-jitsu to get the gun away from his assailant and then shoot him dead. “Russian diplomat” is in quotations because that is how it was first reported. It was later found out that this person was IMPERSONATING a Russian diplomat which opens up a whole lot more questions.
  4. They’ve got 7 more days to ‘clean up’ the bays that are full of sewage before the open water swimming races happen. Yeah, good luck with that.
  5. Here is an article describing, like FIFA, just how much of a Ponzi scheme the whole “Olympic movement” is and how it is carefully constructed to siphon money away from the athletes in the competition and give it directly to executives who don’t deserve it in the least. Here is an infographic showing just how the money gets distributed. It may not be sexy, but like Deep Throat told Woodward and Bernstein: Follow the Money
  6. These people are the same people that used forced evictions and segregation of many families from their residences (when they didn’t want to take the buy-out) so that Olympic stadiums & villages could be built.
  7. Don’t think that just because we’re the land of the free and home of the brave that we’re not part of this too. An Indianapolis Star investigation found that US Gymnastics had a ‘Catholic church-like’ scandal with sexual abuse allegations against gymnasts by ‘coaches.’ Many allegations were dismissed as heresay by US Gymnastics unless the complaint was directly from a gymnast or a parent.
  8. A suspicious package was detonated by Brazilian police/military near the finish line of the road race in the Copacabana area on Saturday. Gotta keep it secure, guys.
  9. Anything that could cut into the stranglehold that the IOC likes to keep on all of their rights/events/money THAT is the thing the IOC gets vigilant about… (not the conditions the athletes are competing in or living in). Because of that, the IOC has disallowed the use of any of its material for GIFs or Vines. That’s right. No more McKayla Maroney moments.
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Or Michael Phelps moments:
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Or when that fifth ring didn’t open in Sochi’s opening ceremony
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Or cool Usain Bolt stuff:
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   10)   Do you know who else got smacked at by the IOC? It’s difficult to understand/believe. Can you say ‘tonedeaf’ boys and girls?
Pope Olympics.jpg



 11)    And IF you’re going to do all of that crap, the first rule after that should be to keep the people reporting at your event happy so that they may decide to not be quite as harsh on your event that they could be. Do you think they did that? NOPE. Let me know what you think of your next hotel that gives you a breakfast consisting of water, coffee and tea bags.
12)    Remember, they also have something called ‘Rule 40’ which prohibits athletes from marketing themselves during the Olympic games.



If you take one thing from all of this, remember that no matter who you are, what you do, or where you are from, do NOT mess with their money. The IOC will get governments to throw you out of your house where you’ve lived for generations, subject you to substandard living conditions, make you compete in a sess pool and squeeze any joy out of you if it will make them one single penny more. They don’t have time for your ‘human rights’ if it costs them ANY money at all. Give thanks to the athletes who put up with all of this stuff, but seriously, to the administrators: Screw you guys!






This… THIS is the world we live in?



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In the College Game:



The Florida Gators had 2 players suspended for violating the school’s code of conduct. By that, they mean: were accused of sexual assault by a fellow student. There were no reports to the Gainesville police or University of Florida police. This is a Title IX hearing. Which is strange… What is also strange is that the University hired a lawyer who is also a Florida booster to adjudicate the matter. The accuser is boycotting the hearing, in protest that there’s no way she would get a fair shake.


Soccer Haircut of the week:



Ricardo Quaresma : Winger for Beşiktaş (Istanbul, Turkey) and the Euro 2016 winning Portugal national team.





And for all of you who wonder what the hell he’s doing, he’s got something for you:



Deal With It Prince.gif



The Summer of Gronk



How do you think that Rob is going to react to practicing in the rain? Exactly how you think he would.
He’s decided to share his views on breakfast.
He won’t be the emergency QB after throwing an interception during a team scrimmage.



Around the League:



Suspensions/Injuries:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)



8/6
Eric Ebron (TE, Det) Was carted off of the field with what is being described as an Achilles injury.
Eric Rogers (WR, SF) Torn ACL, out for season
Jay Ajayi (RB, Mia) Day to Day, knee bruise
DeVante Parker (WR, Mia) missed 3 practices with a Hamstring strain
Chris Hogan (WR, NE) Minor shoulder injury, practicing with non-contact jersey
Ezekiel Elliott (RB, Dal) Hamstring injury, day to day



8/2
Kellen Moore, backup to Fat Tony Romo, broke his right ankle in practice when it got rolled on at the line of scrimmage. Broken bones are normally a 4-6 week proposition, but I’m thinking closer to 6-8



7/26
Le’Veon Bell (RB, Pit) – 4, SAP
Josh Gordon (WR, Cle) – 4, SAP



7/15
Tom Brady (QB, NE)  – 4, BS
Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) 16, SAP                    Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) 4, SAP  
Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) 4, SAP                      Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) 3, PED
Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) 10, PED                           Tim Wright (TE, Det) 16, torn ACL.
Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely, SA



Other News:



8/3
The Bennett brothers, Michael & Martellus, did an interview with ESPN and have quite the personalities and world-views on them. I wish more players would eschew the personality whitewashing that the NFL tries to put them through and speak their minds… and yes, I understand that some of those thoughts I wouldn’t agree with and would be ugly, and racist and homophobic and so what?



Speaking of which: One player thought that “he was going to call the White House and we were all going to lose our jobs” and that “the police were responsible for teaching al-Qaida how to fly planes.” This is a running back whose rights are owned by team in our league… Jodie…



Russell Wilson has a new poster (wait, posters are still a thing?) that was put out recently. Looks like he’s finally busting out of his shell after getting married to and finally having sex with Ciara.
Russell Wilson.jpg



That looks … interesting. I’m sure Twitter took it easy on him, right? Oh, dear.



Your whip is better than RG III’s whip… I know it sounds weird, but believe me…
RG III Car.jpg



Well, that didn’t take long. Before the first week of training camp finished up, the Baltimore Ravens cut Trent Richardson. This is Trent’s FOURTH team since being drafted #3 overall in 2012. He’s been with the Browns, Colts, Raiders and Ravens.



8/1
Jodie, this one’s for you. The Rams haven’t heard from ‘Tre Mason in MONTHS. He didn’t report to training camp, they don’t know where he is or where to find him. He’s also had FIVE incidents with police in the last 4 months. That’s tough to be a keeper with that resume.


The Great Roster Freeze:



If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.



Draft Order



The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.



7/28



Well, lookie here:



This does not mean that the time can’t be moved, it just means that we have our traditional date of the night before the beginning of the season as our draft night confirmed. If anyone can’t make it, I will try to move it to accommodate everyone.



If this date holds, your TWO keepers are due on 8/31. Cross your fingers for no injuries or substance abuse suspensions or domestic violence suspensions or football inflation related suspensions.



Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)   Jodie
2)   Marc
3)   Doug
4)   Brian
5)   Kim
6)   Greg
7)   Chris
8)   Ed
9)   Norm
10) Dave
11) Mike
12) Dan



Dennis Green Memorial Patch



Good Luck to All!!!



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The Commish

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Training Camp News, Injuries, Dating news… what?

 Bozo of the week 

 

First Runner-Up:
Draymond Green

You’re on Team USA. The Olympics start this week on Friday. You’re on a 73-win regular season team who was 2 minutes from back-to-back  NBA Championships. Sounds like the world should be your oyster.
Well, there was that thing you did where you kicked Steven Adams in the junk
and then you did it again… and got yourself one flagrant foul point from a suspension…
And then your team was about to go up 3 games to 1 when LeBron baited you into doing something stupid by walking over you, which you did, of course. You smacked LeBron in the man-zone when he was walking over you and you got suspended for game 5, which swung the momentum of the series. You didn’t think that would be a problem, however, in that you hung out in a sky box at an Oakland A’s game with Marshawn Lynch during that game and said you’d head over there just as soon as the Warriors won game 5. Your team became the first to lose the Finals when up 3-1.
THAT should have ‘made you humble’ as the Iron Sheik would say. You handled the game 7 loss much better than poor, injured Steph Curry and Klay Thompson.
However, about a week and a half after that, Kevin Durant chose to join your team and leave Oklahoma City. Many pundits are saying that the NBA title is gift wrapped for next year and there’s no way you can lose. You’re on Team USA and put up 60 and 50 point wins against China in warm up games. You’re one of 12 people representing your country…
and THEN you post a picture of ‘Little Draymond’ on Snapchat. Why, no, that ISN’T a take off on the 1990’s ‘Lil Penny Nike commercials.

 

You claim that you were hacked, then retract that claim. Somehow, after that, you claim that this ‘incident’ will help propel him to the next level as a basketball player. You’ve even got your USA Basketball teammate: Boogie Bleepin’ Cousins making fun of you! Young fella, what the hell is wrong with you?!?!

 

 

That SHOULD have been enough to wrap up the win, but NOPE…
This week’s Bozo is… for a second straight week…
The RIO OLYMPIC ORGANIZERS!!!
When we last left our hapless bunch, only 12 of the 31 athlete village high-rise apartments passed safety inspection only 2 weeks before the games. Since then, we’ve had:
2) The Australian delegation, whose complaints were handled so delicately previously, found that they were robbed during a fire evacuation in those same village apartments.
3) I mean.. LOOK at this NONSENSE! Imagine your worst hotel/motel experience… now multiply that by 50.

 

 

 

4) NBC has asked the Olympic organizers to reorder the ‘Parade of Nations’ during the Olympic opening ceremony because in English, the United States comes near the end and holds better ratings, however in Portuguese (official language of Brazil), it’s Estados Unidos. Disaster for NBC and ratings after the US comes in to the world famous Maracanã stadium. Wait, NBC’s not showing the Parade live, even though Rio is only 1 hour ahead of NY? If that’s so, why the hell doesn’t NBC just edit the damn tape?
5) Strong winds destroyed the main ramp at the sailing venue. Sounds like that construction is built to last!

 

6) Health experts are telling anyone who will listen that if you are competing in the bay, DON’T PUT YOUR HEAD UNDERWATER!!! This could be an issue for marathon swimmers or anyone in the triathlon. This, of course, is due to their massive open sewage issue in Rio. The government said they would clean it up, but that hasn’t happened. 30% of the sewage is open in Rio and it’s flowing straight into the bay. Virus levels in the water are only 1.7 MILLION times what would be considered worrisome in the US.
7) Also, don’t get sick, because the hospitals don’t have any rooms… or supplies… Many people are lined up in the halls, laying on beds… THAT is their room.

 

…but HEY… at least the IOC is taking whatever profits it wants from the games, is running largely unchecked in its power and the Olympic torch is damn near indestructible, so we’ve got THAT going for us, right?
This… THIS is the world we live in?

Dylan
In the College Game:

No more National Championship semi-finals on New Year’s Eve… But not until the 2017-2018 season. That means one more year where you have to try to check what the score is while attending your New Year’s party.
Soccer Haircut of the week: 

Paul Pogba – Midfield – Juventus/Manchester United/France
With Mohawks and Leopards and Poke-balls, oh, my!!

 

The Summer of Gronk

He’s having fun in camp, calling his pairing with new TE Martellus Bennett ‘Ebony and Ivory’ AND ‘Ken and Ryu (Street Fighter II video game reference)

Around the League:

Suspensions/Injuries: 
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)
 8/1
Jodie, this one’s for you. The Rams haven’t heard from ‘Tre Mason in MONTHS. He didn’t report to training camp, they don’t know where he is or where to find him. He’s also had FIVE incidents with police in the last 4 months. That’s tough to be a keeper with that resume.
 7/26
Le’Veon Bell (RB, Pit) – 4, SAP
Josh Gordon (WR, Cle) – 4, SAP
 7/15
Tom Brady (QB, NE)  – 4, BS
Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) 16, SAP                    Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) 4, SAP  
Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) 4, SAP                      Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) 3, PED
Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) 10, PED                           Tim Wright (TE, Det) 16, torn ACL.
Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely, SA
Other News:
 7/26
Julian Edelman – Wes Welker is calling him ‘Off Brand Tom Brady’ (I think Wes has a little bit of the ol’ Green Eyed Monster in him). Well, if I can be 2nd rate Tom, sign me up. I can’t marry Gisele Bundchen, damn it! Well, what about just dating her co-worker and Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima? I CAN?!?! WooooHooooo!!!!

 

 

 

 7/28
In his never-ending quest to ACTUALLY be Off Brand Tom Brady, Julian has now taken the next step, in that he got his previous girlfriend pregnant JUST before dating his present supermodel girlfriend. Now I’m not going to start telling Tom how to live his life… BUT I’m suggesting he doesn’t go on a boat while in Italy with Julian, if you know what I mean…
7/29
One smaht reporter asked one too many smaht ass questions about Tom Brady for Bill ‘Gun Show’ Belichick’s liking. He’s quite the fashion plate this camp. The question so irked Bill, that he invoked Tom’s name in vain, although I think it may have sounded like ‘Jesus Christ’, whoever THAT guy is…

 

Look out, ladies. He’s got two tickets to the gun show for you.😉

 

If Bill Belichick is answering questions from the media, it must be time for a tradition like no other. Anyone can go to Pamplona, Spain, throw on a painter’s outfit with a red sash and jog with our fellow bovine bros, but it takes a special kind of person to survive the running of the Patriots fans!!
 8/1
Antonio Brown’s whip is better than your whip. Customized Rolls Royce FTW.

The Great Roster Freeze:

If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.
Draft Order
The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.
 7/28
Well, lookie here:
This does not mean that the time can’t be moved, it just means that we have our traditional date of the night before the beginning of the season as our draft night confirmed. If anyone can’t make it, I will try to move it to accommodate everyone.
If this date holds, your TWO keepers are due on 8/31. Cross your fingers for no injuries or substance abuse suspensions or domestic violence suspensions or football inflation related suspensions.
Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)   Jodie
2)   Marc
3)   Doug
4)   Brian
5)   Kim
6)   Greg
7)   Chris
8)   Ed
9)   Norm
10) Dave
11) Mike
12) Dan
Dennis Green Memorial Patch

 

Good Luck to All!!!

McMahon Swag.gif

The Commish

Training camp time!!!

We remember those who have passed:

The memorable Dennis Green has passed. He was 67 years old. Because of this, all teams in our league will wear this commemorative patch all season. 


One last time we pay our respects:




Rest well, coach!

Bozo of the week 


There’s a good amount to choose from. Could it be the whole DNC for all of their cloak and dagger emailing and obvious sabotaging of Bernie Sanders and pushing of Hillary Clinton? This has left them scrambling and blaming Russia for the hack. That claim has been denied by Julian Assange, owner of WikiLeaks, where the emails were posted.

Is it Debbie Wasserman Shultz for presiding over this whole mess, then resigning ONE day before the DNC in Philadelphia begins?

Is it Facebook for admitting to blocking Wikileaks links to the DNC email scandal? This, after Facebook already had an issue with former staffers saying that conservative leaning political news was suppressed on their ‘trending news’ window.

Perhaps it’s Chris Sale, pitcher for the White Sox, for destroying throwback uniforms that he didn’t want to wear. Wait, what? It’s a uniform. What could have possibly been so awful about the 1976 uniforms that they were scheduled to wear that he would take a KNIFE to his and all of his teammates’ uniforms? Ask yourself, does this look THAT bad?

I kind of like them. The collar is funky, but I can dig that.

These are the uniforms they wore. I remember watching Tom Seaver (oh, god, I’m getting old) pitch in these to Carlton Fisk (good lord, get me a walker).

Nope…
The Bozo of the week goes to: The Rio Olympic organizers!!!
I know you’ve probably heard all about how terrible it’s going to be down there. A list of all of the things going wrong is enumerated HERE. BUT, just this week, the Australian athletes refused to be housed in the Olympic village because of plumbing and fire concerns!! Nothing like water flowing down the walls after flushing the toilet or seeing exposed wiring. 19 of the 31 athlete apartment complexes haven’t passed safety inspection yet!  I’m sure that the mayor of Rio was completely embarrassed by such poor living conditions for athletes that will be competing in just under 2 weeks, right?

Maybe not…

Despite Russia having a state-sponsored doping plan for Sochi, the IOC somehow decided NOT to ban all Russian athletes from the Olympics. They passed the buck on to the sport federations to make the determination on how they want to handle each Russian athlete and their eligibility. Way to take a stand against doping!

I know what images NBC is going to feed you for 3 weeks: tons of women dressed in Carnival costumes, but just know that THIS is also what Rio is. Have a nice trip! Good job Rio and Rio organizers, you had 6 years and this is the best you could do! You are the bozos of the week!!!

This… THIS is the world we live in?

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In the College Game:

Faith Ekakitie, DL for Iowa, was mistaken for a bank robber and had 4 guns pulled on him by the police. The incident happened 10 minutes prior to the case of mistaken identity. Well, was Faith carrying around big bags of money with a cartoon $ on them? No. He was playing Pokemon Go on his phone. Good job and crack detective work by Iowa City PD. A very level-headed article describes what happened, and maybe, perhaps, why you should turn down the headphones from 11 to something where you can still hear what’s going on around you.




Soccer Haircut of the week: 
Lionel Messi who is going with the Blonde Ambition/Justin Bieber look

The Summer of Gronk:

Maybe he’s branching out into the finer arts, like the Miami Ballet?



Need a new ice cream vendor? Gronk’s got you covered. Yes, that was an ice pop he spiked.
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Would you like to take part in his Zumba class? Yes, that was a bag of beef jerky he spiked!



Maybe you’ll see him at your next Paul McCartney concert!



or perhaps you’ll see him throwing out the first pitch to David Ortiz, his good Dunkin Donuts buddy at a Red Sox game:



The man sure knows how to enjoy himself, while STILL not thinking about his long-term future one single, solitary bit!

Around the League:

Suspensions/Injuries: 
(# = number of games, SA = Substance Abuse, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)

 7/26
Le’Veon Bell (RB, Pit) – suspended for 4 games for MISSING a drug test. Smart…

Josh Gordon will be eligible to return from suspension for a week 5 matchup v. New England… the same day Tom Brady comes back.

 7/15
Tom Brady (QB, NE)  – 4, BS
Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) 16, SA                    Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) 4, SA  
Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) 4, SA                      Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) 3, PED

Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) 10, PED                           Tim Wright (TE, Det) 16, torn ACL.
Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely, SA

Other News:
 7/26
Ezekiel Elliott (RB, Dal)Was implicated in a domestic violence incident. His girlfriend claims that he attacked her, Ezekiel and other witnesses claim that he didn’t. Stay tuned to see if anything comes of this.

JJ Watt had back surgery and is a question as to whether or not he will be available when the season begins.

Darnell Dockett after 10 years in the NFL is going to retire. He is quite the character and I would read up on him if I were you. (Trying to steal AJ McCarron’s girl and his obsession with exotic pets)

Greg Jennings (WR, GB/Min/Mia) – Announced his retirement 7/25.

Tom Jackson – Will not be back at ESPN. Reports are that he is leaving prior to the season and will not be on ESPN Countdown & Primetime in this, Chris Berman’s last year at ESPN. The Worldwide Leader put claimed that Berman would retire, but that is something his agent denies vociferously. If you’ve been following ESPN at all, and how Bill Simmons, Jason Whitlock, Colin Cowherd, Mike Tirico, Skip Bayless and Keith Olbermann left, smear campaigns and pre-emptive press releases and leaks are the modus operandi for them. Watch your back, Bob Ley.

The Great Roster Freeze:
If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.
Draft Order

The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.
Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)      Jodie
2)      Marc
3)      Doug
4)      Brian
5)      Kim
6)      Greg
7)     Chris
8)      Ed

9)      Norm
10)  Dave
11)   Mike
12)  Dan

Good Luck to All!!!

The Commish

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futbol, Futbol, FUTBOL!!!

Bozo of the week – Copa America:

Winner: The Argentinian FA
You may remember a little organization called FIFA. They are the governing body that reigns over all other country’s governing football (soccer) bodies. Think of it like each US state has their own government, but they then send separate, elected representatives to the Federal Government.
As you may have heard, they’ve had a spot of bother recently when it comes to corruption charges. There was a huge raid on their offices, 14 member indictments in the first round of indictments. After that happened, they held elections for a new president (scheduled). Sepp Blatter (incumbent) won re-election DESPITE everything swirling around them at the time and put on a show during the re-election speech in something you have to see to believe… The stones on THIS guy…

Then the head of FIFA and the president of UEFA (Europe) were arrested. All of this scandal led to one of the greatest pieces of video you’ll ever see:

Cash Rules Everything Around Me, C.R.E.A.M. Get the money, dolla dolla bills, y’all!
By all accounts, it is one of THE most corrupt organizations this planet has ever seen…
AND THEY looked at the Argentinian FA and said it was too corrupt and they had to intercede to save it!
Argentina is not just some fly-by-night country when it comes to Futbol… They are #1 in the World rankings

They have the best player in the world: Lionel Messi (46g 26a in 59 games – FC Barcelona)… who can do things like this.. and this… and this… and THIS.
It’s not just him, though, they have:
Gonzalo Higuain (42g in 42 – Napoli),
Sergio Aguero (35 in 54 – Man City) coming off of the bleeping bench,
Angel DiMaria (18g 22a in 59 – PSG),
Javier Mascherano-Barca,
Nicolas Otamendi-Man City,
Ezequiel Lavezzi-PSG,
Ramiro Funes Mori-Liverpool,
Pablo Zabaleta-Man City,
Marcos Rojo-Man United,
Ever Banega-Sevilla,
Erik Lamela-Tottenham Hotspur, & oh, yeah,
Paulo Dybala (21 g in 45 for Juventus)
Things are so screwed up in the Argentinian FA that Messi even bitched about it. Half of the time I think Messi’s mute! He doesn’t say anything. What do you have to do to drive HIM nuts?
This is an organization that can’t even elect a president properly. If you don’t want to read the article below, that’s fine. You’re missing out on more great stuff. There were 75 members that voted. They counted up the votes. There were 38 for the Challenger and 38 for the Incumbent. Wait, what?!? THAT, ladies and gentlemen adds up to 76. Just look at the exasperation when these jamokes realize what happened:

Meanwhile…
Euro 2016 was so screwed up because they tried to fit more teams than 16 in the tournament that the round-robin only got rid of 8 of the 24 teams. This means that 4 or 6 THIRD place group teams made the knockout stage. The knockout bracket got totally screwed up with: England, Italy, Germany, France, Spain, Slovakia, Ireland and Iceland on one side of the bracket while the other side had 2-3 good teams in Belgium, Wales and Portugal. Northern Ireland didn’t beat Wales despite Will Grigg being on fire and your defense being terrified:

So, we now have to live in a world where Cristiano Ronaldo has won a major international competition before Lionel Messi because Ronaldo’s teammates came through after he got injured 8 minutes into the final, while Messi’s teammates did their impression of Mama Cass eating a ham sammich in their last 3 finals.

Portugal played 7 matches. Their record in regulation: 1-0-6. 0-0-3 in group. Extra time win v. Croatia, PK shootout win v Poland, 2-0 over Wales in regular time. Extra time win over France.

When he wasn’t chucking a reporter’s microphone into a lovely French lake, he managed to act like a lunatic during the quarterfinal PK shootout with Poland and then, despite getting hurt in the final, continuing to be the main story through his ‘leadership.‘ Just when you thought this couldn’t get ANY nuttier, his crazy-ass sister (who wanted people that vandalized her brother’s bronze statue exiled to Syria) compared him and his suffering to… ‘CHRIST ON THE CROSS!!!’

Meanwhile, Argentina goes 5-0-1 in regulation in the whole tournament, outscores their opponents 18-2, but loses in a penalty shootout to defending Copa champions Chile.

This… THIS is the world we have to live in now?

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In the College Game:

Baylor had a huge sexual assault scandal that cost Art Briles his job and SHOULD have cost Ken Starr and multiple other administrators THEIR jobs. It didn’t, though, because apparently they decided not to produce an investigative report on the findings specifically to protect the school from lawsuits… You read that right.

Mark Richt moves from HC of Georgia to HC of Miami (FL)
Kirby Smart goes from DC of Alabama to HC of Georgia

Deshaun Watson & Christian McCaffrey: Heisman contenders
Alabama… still pretty good. Michigan… on the rise.

Opening weekend looks insane!
9/2  Kansas State @ (11) Stanford
9/3 (3) Oklahoma @ (12) Houston
(6) LSU @ Wisconsin – In Lambeau Field!!!
(24) UCLA @ Texas A&M
(20) North Carolina @ (22) Georgia – Georgia Dome
(2) Alabama v (19) Southern California – AT&T stadium, Dallas
(1) Clemson @ Auburn
9/4 (9) Notre Dame @ Texas
9/5 (4) Florida State v (14) Ole Miss – Citrus Bowl, Orlando

The Summer of Gronk:

Gronk has been in full Gronk plumage this summer:
From doing the ‘Running Man Challenge’ with his brothers, to going on Jimmy Kimmel to explain if he was or wasn’t naked during his GQ photo shoot, to the 4th of July.

What does Gronk do for the 4th or July?

He DOESN’T do this, now does he… Swaggy P?


He does a Taco Party in Cali, followed by sharing a TBT (Throwback Thursday) picture of him in middle school, he has Waka Flocka Flame comparing himself to Gronk, and acts as a therapist for Margot Robbie during the ESPYs. After that, he takes his girlfriend, Camille Kostek, to the Nickelodeon Kids’ choice awards AND having a dance-off with Ciara.

Ciara, if you didn’t know is the freshly-minted Mrs. Russell Wilson. Russell famously wouldn’t have sex with Ciara before they were married, then went on social media and bragged (nsfw words in the link) about it. Classy.

Around the League:

Suspensions:
  Tom Brady (QB, NE) is suspended for the first 4 games of the year and the Patriots were fined $1M and lost a 1st and 4th round pick for something that happened 500+ days ago even the NFL rules P 31, 8.13.A.4 states that the offending club be fined not in excess of $500.000.

  Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) suspended 1 year for violating league substance abuse policy.

  Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) suspended 4 games for violating league substance abuse policy.
  
  Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) suspended 4 games for violating league substance abuse policy.

  Rolando McClain (ILB, Dal) suspended 10 games for second violation of league substance abuse policy.
  Sheldon Richardson (DE, NYJ) suspended 1 game for violating league personal conduct policy.

  Vontaze Burfict (ILB, Cin) suspended 3 games for repeatedly violating league policy on player-safety rules.

  Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) suspended 3 games for violating league PED Policy.

  Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) suspended 10 games for violating league PED policy.

  Tim Wright (TE, Det) out for season with torn ACL.
  Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
  Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely for violating substance abuse policy.
Other News:
JJ Watt is apparently dating Lindsey Vonn, who nurses JJ back to health from his many injuries by lots of ‘Massages in the groin area.’
Odell Beckham Jr. hung out with Bayern Munich football club for a while, got his own jersey and trained with them for a while… and apparently, he’s either a fan of Metallica or just likes their old-school shirt.
Roger Goodell took time out of his busy schedule of hiding under his desk to call Mark Wahlberg (executive producer) and complain about ‘Ballers’ on HBO.

The Great Roster Freeze:
If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.
Draft Order

The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.
Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)      Jodie
2)      Marc
3)      Doug
4)      Brian
5)      Kim
6)      Greg
7)     Chris
8)      Ed

9)      Norm
10)  Dave
11)   Mike
12)  Dan

Good Luck to All!!!
The Commish

End of year Atlantic Football Inc. wrap up

End of Year

 

Playoff edition Bozo of the week:

 

Winner: The New York Jets –

All you had to do was go to Buffalo, (where the fans aren’t satisfied with putting each other through tables anymore, they’re upping the ante and trying to put THEMSELVES through FLAMING tables… they also have unusual forms of sledding) and beat your former head coach after he already beat you in New York. They’ve got nothing to play for, you can be in the playoffs. Then you remembered that you’re “the Jets.” You were down 13-0 before you knew it and lost 22-17. You will now be at home watching the playoffs. Also, congratulations for getting the 20th selection in the first round of the NFL draft.

 

I still think Brian Orakpo said it best

 

 

Yo, man, WHAT?!?!?

Stephen Ross, your Miami Dolphins just finished the season 6-10, last in the AFC East. Behind Rex Ryan and Tyrod Taylor who beat you by a combined 74-31. Behind the god forsaken bozo of the week Jets who thumped you by a combined score of 65-34.  And somehow, STILL, you had the temerity, the unmitigated gall, the disgusting proclamation that ‘except on the playing field’ you’re ‘probably the first-class organization in the National Football League’.  Yo, man, I know you did a fantastic job developing the Time Warner Center in NYC, and your donations to the University of Michigan ($313M and counting) are mindboggling, but COME ON MAN, WHAT WE DOIN OUT THERE, MAN?!?!

Under his stewardship the following has happened to this once proud franchise:

·         Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony, Jimmy Buffett, Jennifer Lopez, Fergie, Venus Williams, and Serena Williams were brought in as minority owners to try to help spur public interest

·         You failed to secure multimillion-dollar funding from the state for renovations of Sun Life/Land Shark/Pro Player/Joe Robbie Stadium and local speculation is that you want to move the team to Palm Beach which sounds great until you realize that Palm Beach is 71 miles from Miami. That’s MUCH further away from Miami than the Patriots are to Boston(28 miles) and the 49ers are now to San Francisco(55 miles).

·         You acquired Brandon Marshall from the Broncos then immediately didn’t know how to use him and had arguably his 2 worst seasons as a pro and did things like run out of bounds for no reason.

·         You attempted to hire Jim Harbaugh as new coach of the Dolphins while forgetting that you didn’t fire your present coach, Tony Sparano. When Harbaugh decided to coach the 49ers instead, you apologized to Sparano by giving him a 2 year contract extension. Huh?!?

·         Your team started off that year winless until week 9 and Sparano was then fired after losing to the Philadelphia Eagles because Ross claimed that rumors of Sparano’s job security were becoming a distraction. Gee, I wonder how those rumors started at all?

·         You hired Joe Philbin who had no head coaching experience.

·         You had your center, Mike Pouncey rocking a ‘Free Hernandez’ hat at a club when Aaron Hernandez was arrested for 1st degree murder (of which he was later convicted – and he’s still finding ways to get into trouble while in jail)

·         You had the Richie Incognito-Jonathan Martin bullying scandal

·         That scandal forced the creation of a ‘task force’ full of famous names which we still haven’t heard from yet.

·         You hired Dennis Hickey to be GM in 2014. Then hired Mike Tannenbaum, failed NY Jets executive, to be executive VP of football operations in 2015, even though Hickey brought in his contract to show you that you CONTRACTUALLY gave Hickey power to pick all football personnel.

·         Your savior QB, Ryan Tannehill’s wife, Lauren, decided it would be a good idea to forget an AR-15 rifle in the back of a rental car. I can’t begin with all of the questions about that. Why does she have it? How can you forget something like that? Why did she need a rental car? What kind of decision making is going on in the Tannehill household? Meanwhile, the Dolphins front office WILDLY overrates Ryan’s QB ability and standing in the league, believing he’s an elite player who has been shackled by conservative coaching. The kids have a term for this kind of thinking. I believe it’s O.M.G.   ¯\_()_/¯

·         Miko Grimes – Wife of CB Brent who rips everyone and everything Dolphin related on social media. She also was arrested at the stadium while attending a Dolphins game earlier this year. She also gets unique birthday cakes for Brent. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T GOOGLE ‘BRENT GRIMES BIRTHDAY CAKES’ UNTIL YOU GET HOME!!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. DO NOT GOOGLE THAT AT WORK!!!

·         You fired Joe Philbin after 4 games of 2015, because that move always works to get a team into the playoffs. The OC and DC were fired piecemeal after that, not WITH the head coach so there was no continuity under your new caveman interim coach Man Campbell who was best known for being a TE on the 0-16 Lions and ending his 10 year NFL career with 91 catches for 934 yards and 11 TD.

 

You know what? Screw it! Stephen M. Ross, YOU are the bozo of the week! This incompetence is absurd! The Jets are demoted to 2nd place, because it looks like Todd Bowles at least has a clue about what he’s doing. I see no such clue here for you, Mr. Ross. This demotion also has the added benefit of the Jets again somehow losing something that they thought they had already wrapped up.

 

Dead Man Coaching

 

The last 5 coaching changes in the AFC North have all been by the Cleveland Browns. 

Mike Pettine

 

Rob Chudzinski

 

Pat Shurmur

 

 

Eric Mangini – my god with Rob Ryan too! Hard to believe men of such outstanding intellect are unemployed still.

 

Romeo Crennel

 

Meanwhile, no one seems to know where the hell Johnny Manziel is or where he was for game 17.

 

I think what it means to be a Browns fan can be summed up by this picture: The horror… THE HORROR!!!!

 

In the College Game:

The SEC went on a smooth 8-1 run in bowl games. The one loss? My Gators who were shellacked by Michigan in the Citrus Bowl. Florida ended the year by scoring 2, 15 and 7. In case you were wondering, why yes, the 15 DID include an 85 yard punt return. Looks like ol’ Raccoon eyes McElwain has some work to do, oh offensive genius…

 

Meanwhile, Darth Saban continued to put the beat down on people, and the NY Jets infection reached into the college game to a team with the same colors as Alabama beat Michigan St. 38-0 in the Cotton Bowl. Alabama’s defensive front 7 is one of the best he’s ever coached. Alabama finished first in the nation in scoring defense, allowing only 13.4 ppg. (that number includes giving up 43 to Ole Miss)

 

Clemson beat Oklahoma 37-17 in the Orange Bowl, riding Deshaun Watson and Wayne Gallman on offense and Shaq Lawson and Ben Boulware on defense to set up the National Championship game (Glendale, AZ) on 1/11.

 

How is Gronk this week?

He’s doing well at a WWE event in Providence. Of COURSE he’s boys with the ‘Stay Hyped’ crew because, duh!

Is one of the members wearing a shirt that says ‘Bro Me’? You bet he is!!!

 

He also put out a book during the summer where he talks about a) having women over for slip and slide and b) cooking eggs naked at 2-3am. With Gronk this is seen as adorable. I don’t think it would be viewed in the same way if it was Pacman Jones.

 

End of year Wrap up Party

It was suggested by a league participant that in that person’s other league, they have an end of year wrap up party. Just a get together to celebrate the year, pass out trophies, have some food and drinks and a couple of laughs. I would be happy to have one with our league, but I would like to know if everyone else is interested. It wouldn’t be anything terribly formal, Maybe a 5:45p after work party or something like out to watch the AFC/NFC Championship or Super Bowl (although that’s on so late at night). Please vote and let me know if you’re interested by replying to this email.

Do you want an End of Season party?

If you do, would you like it after work or on the weekend?

 

The Great Roster Freeze:

 

For next year’s draft, everyone’s roster is frozen right now. I have written everyone’s roster down and this is what will be used to determine your 2 keepers for next season. This does not mean that you can’t make free agent acquisitions/drops. It just means that for the purposes of next year’s draft, all of those roster transactions will be null and void and all rosters will revert to what they are today.

If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.

 

Draft Order

 

Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:

1)      Jodie

2)      Marc

3)      Doug

4)      Brian

5)      Kim

6)      Greg

7)     Chris

8)      Ed

9)      Norm

10)  Dave

11)   Mike

12)  Dan

 

Good Luck to All!!!

The Commish

 

Week 16 recap, Payouts

Week 16 Recap:
Championship
Mike
94.40
v
Dan
116.90
Dan rode HIS red hot QB – wait for it – BLAKE BORTLES, who over the last 5 weeks has averaged 34.82 ppg to his THIRD Atlantic Football Inc. Championship! Latavius Murray (17.70) and mid-season pick-up Karlos Williams (12.70) helped along with the Buffalo Defense (21.00). That’s right… the Championship was decided by Jacksonville, Oakland and Buffalo. And if THAT doesn’t convince you that what we’re doing is completely idiotic, I don’t know what to tell you. Congratulations, Dan for winning the Vincent Bo Jackson Wilfork Lombardi trophy!!!
As for Mike, THIS is what happens when your star player who was averaging 30.6 ppg for your team throws up his worst performance of the year in the biggest game. Cam Newton put up a 14.70, Gronk had a mediocre game for Gronk, and that’s all she wrote.
 3rd Place
Dave
104.65
v
Norm
73.30
Dave got Allen Robinson (21.10), Tim Hightower (28.90) and the ancient one, Frank Gore (21.50) to put up monster numbers to offset a terrible performance by Aaron Rodgers (8.45) and beat Norm, who must have had Kim manage his team for the third place game, as he started Alshon Jeffery, which would have been a good idea, except he was out for the game. If only he had Allen Hurns (22.60) on his bench who he could have started in Alshon’s place… oh, he did?!?! Jacksonville’s defense didn’t help Norman out either, as they put up a Negative 7.00.
Week 16 Bozo of the week:

Odell Beckham Jr.
Congratulations, Odell!! You somehow got TWO personal fouls called against you when Josh Norman CB of Carolina pwned you all game. This included somehow taking your helmet off after a play while on the field and NOT getting a penalty even though there’s a rather famous incident when taking your helmet off was the direct cause of a loss for the Browns and win for the Chiefs.  You also punched Cortland Finnegan in the head but got a personal foul called on Finnegan… HUH?!?!?! You then came back strong for your THIRD personal foul with a blind-side straight up missile shot to the side of the head with the crown of your helmet and STILL didn’t get tossed out of the game. I have NO idea what the EIGHT referees were looking at to not throw you out.

It’s a good thing you didn’t have a 15 yard sprint right before that hit… oh, wait, you did.
He already pulled this nonsense against Buffalo earlier this season. It’s a damn shame someone so talented is such a hothead.
Luckily, you didn’t cost your team anything, otherwise VP of Football Operations Dan Culver would have to have called you in for a stern talking to.
Second Place: The NFL for their ‘no strings attached’ CTE Grant
So when you say ‘no strings attached’ but retain veto power, what exactly does that mean? Those two things seem to be incongruous when combined. The NFL “gave” $30 million dollars as an ‘unrestricted gift’ to research of CTE. That sure SOUNDS like they want to clean things up for their workforce. It is also a complete PR move and they’ll fight every finding that comes from that money if it will end up hurting their wallets.
This is EXACTLY the same type of BS public relations move that is the NFL’s bread and butter. Do you remember when Jonathan Martin of the Dolphins was bullied by Richie Incognito to the point where he walked out on the team? That was a thing… How did the Dolphins handle that situation? Why they put together a ‘task force’ with big names that was going to figure out what happened and come up with a solution of what to do moving forward!! Sounds great! Except that was November 2013 and we still have nothing from them. The whole incident just went away. No one in the media has asked any questions. The NFL hired resident jack-wagon Ted Wells to investigate the incident and he came out with his report HERE.
Also, what did the Dolphins do earlier this year after firing their head coach? They hired a crazy Tight Ends coach Dan ‘Man’ Campbell who actively wants fights between offense and defense, started his tenure by putting the team through Oklahoma drills and tug of war.
Speaking of the NFL and health issues:

Even MORE Miss Universe:
One of the better videos from the judging area you’ll ever see: Yes, that’s Perez Hilton and then Hall of Famer Emmitt Smith. My skin crawls because I’m so uncomfortable watching the whole thing… AND I’m laughing…
At least Steve Harvey made up for his mistake by apologizing for his mistake… ‘but it’s still a great night!!!’ by putting out this tweet immediately after the show.

Bruh, it’s Philippines and Colombia.
At least Steve can laugh at himself, as his Instagram picture shows (Merry Easter)

Meanwhile, Earvin ‘Magic’ Johnson put out this tweet, before the contest had actually, you know, finished.

It hasn’t been the best week for ‘ol Magic. First, his baseball team, The Dodgers lost the reigning Cy Young Award Winner Zack Greinke to the Arizona Diamondbacks, then he tried to congratulate retiring superstar of the World Cup Champion US Women’s National Soccer team Abby Wambach.

I’m not going to quibble with the Magic man over whether you can possibly be ONE of the GOATs when GOAT stands for Greatest of All Time, suggesting you either are or aren’t, BUT what I CAN quibble with is praising someone when not knowing her actual name.
Happy Holidays, everyone!!!
You thought the Steelers are on an unstoppable roll?!?!?! You are WRONG, my friend! Just have them sing Christmas carols and watch the ineptitude!
I don’t know which is worse/greater… that one or Rasheed Wallace’s Pistons version.
Which is your favorite? (Use Voting buttons)
How is Gronk convalescing this week?
Gronk is back and even though the Christmas season has come and gone, maybe you still want this for your favorite Patriots fan?

He’s also a spokesperson for a new smartphone game called MOBILE STRIKE that already has Arnold Schwarzenegger as another spokesperson.
I think Gronk is starting to get into Peyton Manning commercial territory. I mean, would you be surprised to see him next in a commercial at a deli chanting ‘Cut That Meat’?
If you had a bad Christmas, maybe this guy is responsible
Yo, looks like St. Nick has some competition. He’s from the dark side and NOT happy your cookies have gluten.

Maybe these guys need to have some egg nog and stop fighting so much.
In the college game:
BOWL SEASON:
12/28
Pittsburgh v. Navy
Ok, a bowl celebrating the military with a team from a branch of the military, no biggie. Kinda nice.
12/29
California v. Air Force
Hey, wait a minute! I’d be cool with one bowl specifically honoring military, but TWO? How can we be swimming in debt and have TWO US Military vendors have so much cash that they think it would be a great idea to sponsor separate bowl games?
Nevada v. Colorado State
Oh, look another financial institution tying themselves to home loans, what could go wrong?
LSU v. Texas Tech
Yeah, I had to look that up too… vitamin chews. God damned vitamin chews…
12/30
NC State v. Mississippi State
Nope, might as well have the Macy’s bowl or the JC Penney Bowl while you’re at it.
Texas A&M v. Louisville
Again, what have we learned about mortgage companies throwing around cash?
USC v. Wisconsin
I have no idea who National Funding is.
12/31
FINALLY!!! THE GOOD STUFF!!!
Orange Bowl 4:00 p.m.- ESPN
(4) Oklahoma v (1) Clemson

Cotton Bowl 8:00 p.m. – ESPN
(3) Michigan State v. (2) Alabama

1/1
Northwestern v. Tennessee
The BEST mascot in bowl history

(Bloomin’ Onion) AND the worst

(Coconut Shrimp)
Notre Dame v. Ohio State
That’s what you get for losing 3 games between you by a total of 7 points. You go to a bowl that sounds like it’s a new toy brought to you by the makers of G.I. Joe. (Actually, Battlefrog is a company that sponsors events like Tough Mudder, Spartan, Warrior Dash, Mud and Adventure, etc.)
1/2
Penn State v. Georgia
Yeah, I got nothing here…
1/11
Glendale, AZ 8:30 p.m. – ESPN
Winner of Orange Bowl v. Winner of Cotton Bowl
Playoff Payouts:

1st: $200 – Dan
2nd: $120 – Mike
3rd: $40 – Dave
Thank you to everyone for a fine year. Congratulations to the winners.
Trophy
Winner
Last Year’s Winner
Championship
Dan
Mike
Bobble-Butt
Jodie
Brian
Penny Pincher
Marc
Deion, Nelly, Wu-Tang, Biggie Smalls and Eric B & Rakim take the season out with a bang!

The Commish

Semi Final Recap, Finals/3rd place Preview

Week 15 Recap:
Mike
157.80
v
98.40
Norm
Dave
91.70
v
106.85
Dan
Week 15 Bozo of the week:

He also used some of the money he gained from that venture to purchase the one and only copy of the Wu-Tang Clan’s newest and only copy ever made of their album years in the making. Needless to say, hip-hop fans were not impressed. He then showed his full douchebag credentials by putting out the trolly-est tweet I’ve seen in a while:

Profiteering off of the backs of sick/terminal patients is a disgusting practice and the practitioner of such should be made to take a flaming, toxic, spiked, syphilis and dysentery covered adult toy up through his rectum and out through his urethra.
Well, this week, the tables have turned (sort of) because Martin got arrested for securities fraud relating to his PREVIOUS job as a hedge fund guy. I guess it’s like an apprenticeship. You have to learn your craft of being the biggest jerk/douche on Wall Street from the pros before spreading your wings and screwing as many people as possible on your own, right?
I’m not expecting a happy ending here with Martin becoming a human vending machine for prison sex for his cellmates: Lil Pookie and Zeus. I’m more expecting that he has sheltered a whole bunch of cash, hired some scummy lawyers to get him out of this and he’ll be back figuring out new ways of screwing the silent majority over before being hired on CNN as an analyst and then running for President in 2036.
Second place: Steve Harvey – If you host an awards show/pageant, you really have one job. You need to properly read the names/countries of the contestants and in what order they finished. Steve just hosted the Miss Universe pageant and, well,  let’s say he got the names right and the order wrong. That, of course, led to a scene of Steve checking his winners card again, and looking at it like this:

Announcing that he had made a mistake, saying that Miss Colombia was NOT the winner, but Miss Philippines was, that led to THIS scene where you can actively see Miss Colombia’s brain plotting WHO exactly she will call to put a hit out on Steve when she gets back home. The word salty comes to mind.

Which was immediately memed by the interwebs…

Not to let Steve completely off the hook but that wasn’t the only screwed up thing with the results card:
Your word for the day, children: Elimination

Because they can’t throw TWO flags if you keep dancing, right?
You THINK you’re going to celebrate on Christmas? On New Year’s Eve? No. You’re not.
William Gay CB, Pittsburgh gets down in the Cincinnati Bengals end zone better than you and he’s not even drinking alcohol to help him out. Keep watching THROUGH the referee’s explanation to see where he hits new heights.

How is Gronk convalescing this week?
Why invest in another boring restaurant when you could have your own party bus business instead?!?

If you’d like to read more about it, you can click HERE… or on Twitter go to @GronkPartyBus.
Also, here’s an NFL.com video about it with the man himself.
San-ta Duck is com-ing… to haunt your dreams, little girl…
The best Christmas pic you’ve seen in quite a while. Thank you University of Oregon… thank you. God Bless us, every one.
Want a beverage but are too lazy to get up from the couch AND you’re you a Star Wars fan?
Looks like you’re in luck, if you’re flush with cash… Haier Asia has produced a replica R2-D2 mini refrigerator. No, I’m not kidding.
The price tag is a little steep for most people. But if you just HAVE to have your own Artoo, now it’s going to be available to you.

Maybe you’re more of a flying drone person. Gotcha covered. It just depends if you want a TIE fighter or a Star Destroyer.
Finally, here’s a remote control AT-AT walker with sound effects. It’s a good time to be a nerd.
The next great rap duo…
In the beginning, there was Eric B. & Rakim and EPMD

Then came the GREAT Outkast, Mobb Deep and Black Star

Y’all thought Dre and Eminem were the kings? Maybe from ’99-06.

The kings are dead, all hail the new kings.. Jay and ‘Ye! Maybe in 2011-2013

Jay and ‘Ye better watch their backs because they TALK about power, but this new duo has REAL power. You’ve seen them on your TV, you’ve heard them talked ABOUT all the time, but they’re comin’ at the kings and ain’t gonna miss.
That’s right, all the way from Italy via Argentina and from Chicago via Hawaii, it’s the REAL Power duo:

Don’t sleep on the Prez. He’s already got many hits he’s dropped like: Hotline Bling, Can’t Feel My Face and Uptown Funk.
The Pope has mic skills that are certified as divine… He’s got his own Flavor Flav hype man behind him in the second pic, he’s kickin it old school Fat Boys style in the third pic. My man Pope Francis has the skillz that pay the bills (on CD).

In the college game:
BOWL SEASON:
12/19
The R& L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Arkansas State v Louisiana Tech (because they need a local to get ANYONE to come watch)
Georgia State(6-6) v San Jose State(5-7)
Seriously, there are WAY too many bowl games.
12/22
Akron v Utah State
Yes, they did make the football look like a baked potato for the logo
Your mascot for the game:

12/23
Boise State v Northern Illinois
‘Jesus tap-dancing Christ on a cracker’ has as many words comprising it as this bowl game
Georgia Southern v Bowling Green
Bowling Green is actually fun and they score a lot of points
12/24
Middle Tennessee v Western Michigan

a)      What does Popeyes have to do with the Bahamas at ALL?!?! Their slogan: ‘Louisiana Fast’ – Huh?!?!
b)      The 2014 game produced THE craziest finish to ANY bowl game last year.

12/26
Washington v Southern Mississippi
Zaxby’s is another fried chicken joint… like Popeyes and like Chick-Fil-A. Looks like the bowl market is being entirely sponsored by auto parts/lubricant providers and fried chicken places.
Tulsa v Virginia Tech
Camping World is big and is profitable, I guess?!?
UCLA v Nebraska
Foster Farms – ANOTHER chicken provider
12/28
Central Michigan v Minnesota
Wow, that one sounds really prestigious
The question you should be asking is: When I was younger, we had the Orange, Holiday, Liberty, Independence, Sugar, Rose, Fiesta, Cotton and Gator bowls. Where the hell did all of THESE bowl games come from? Let my friend Gordon explain:

Week 16 Thursday Games:
San Diego at Oakland

Special: SATURDAY GAME!!!
Washington at Philadelphia

Week 16 Byes:
Kansas City has a bye week masquerading as a game against Cleveland.
Pittsburgh the same thing against Baltimore.
Playoff Payouts:
1st: $200 –
2nd: $120 –
3rd: $40 –
Finals Matchups 
Mike
V
Dan
3rd Place Matchup
Dave
V
Norm
Good Luck to All!!!
The Commish

Week 12 Recap, Week 13 preview

Week 12 Recap:
Chris
93.50
V
Jodie
86.75
Mike
79.25
V
Dave
117.20
Kim
114.45
V
Marc
68.00
Doug
74.90
V
Dan
97.70
Greg
122.50
V
Ed
77.45
Brian
136.45
V
Norm
100.50
Week 12 Bozo of the week:

It’s a TIE!!! Your winners/losers are: the NFL Network and Jerry Jones for having the hubris to think that a Jerry Jones Twitter AMA would turn out just swimmingly. To the surprise of absolutely no one who has been on the information superhighway for more than trolly-seven seconds it turned into a swarm of:
a) questions
b) not about performance of his team
c) all about the people he chooses to sign to play or
d) hypotheticals of who he would sign to play for America’s team.
It went from:
“How can you look your wife and daughter in the eyes after signing Greg Hardy? “
To:
                “If you could go back in time and murder baby Hitler, would you do it or sign him as a defensive back?”
Good job, NFL Network & JJ. You’re making America great again!
Second place goes again to Spider 2 Y Banana who thought he could outsmart everyone and pick up a QB off of IR who would come back and propel his team to championship glory! But, instead, he looks Chip Kelly-like in his personnel evaluation, got a smooth negative 3.70 points and a re-injured collar bone for Mr. Tony Romo. He has now picked the wrong QB to start for his god-forsaken team 5 out of the las 6 weeks. Great job, Commish!!!
Poor Cleveland… Poor, poor god-damned Cleveland
Please console anyone from Applied if they call soon, as they should be in deep mourning. It’s one thing for your team to stink and you know it and they know it and they get crushed week in and week out. It’s another thing for your team to stink, yet they give you hope, bring you to the precipice of joy, then turn into a combination of whatever came out of the Arc of the Covenant in Indiana Jones 1 and Moleram from Indiana Jones 2 and rip your heart/soul/guts/joy/hope out of you.

I know it’s been a while, Red Sox fans, but try to remember every game they played before the last pitch of the 2004 World Series.
Cleveland had their bitter rivals, Baltimore (who, if you remember, LEFT Cleveland when Art Modell couldn’t get a new stadium built) in town for Monday Night football. Both teams are terrible, but Cleveland fans still have a deep hatred of the Ravens for how they left. Cleveland’s starting QB went out with a throwing shoulder injury. The esteemed Austin Davis took over as QB (because Johnny Manziel decided partying in Austin TX and putting it on social media after being in rehab earlier this year and having a traffic incident where his female companion suggested domestic violence would be an outstanding look… his coach disagreed and demoted him to third string) and down 20-27, threw a game tying TD with 1:58ish left in the game. What happened next is pure magic. The Ravens punted, the Browns punted, the Ravens threw an INT at midfield with 0:55 left. Cleveland moved the ball to the Baltimore 34 and attempted a game winning FG with 0:03 left. The kick was blocked straight right, Baltimore picked it up and returned the ball all the way for the game winning TD. Good God.
Nevermind that Baltimore was lined up offsides on the play.

This is life in Cleveland. ZERO championships since 1964!!! Hey, I root for the friggin BUCCANEERS and I feel bad for these people. There is a reason people in Cleveland call the Browns Stadium the Factory of Sadness.
THIS GUY deserves something. Maybe a guest appearance on the world’s strongest man competition.
Sorry Cleveland fans, I feel for you.

Yes, Jim Harbaugh is STILL completely insane:

This week, he became the first Michigan coach to attend the annual ‘graveyard walk’ past all of the famed Michigan coaches. They stopped at Bo Schembechler’s grave, he placed a stone on it, a buckeye nut, pulled out a maize and blue hammer and crushed the nut on the grave.
Earlier this month, he was asked about how to grow up big and strong and he listed what his 4 ‘natural steroids’ are. I don’t think nutritionists would agree, but I’m not telling a crazy person that.
It’s important to remember that this is a man who was ONE PLAY FROM WINNING THE SUPER BOWL!!!
His team then went out AT HOME and got monkey stomped by THE Ohio State University 42-13.
In the ‘Association’
If you ever thought you’d like to completely embarrass yourself by trying to recreate a rap video with you as the star, don’t worry, the Toronto Raptors have you covered.
Also, there’s nothing quite like outraged Australian announcers at a basketball game.
In the world of Futbol:
If you made a mistake today, just be glad it wasn’t on live television all over Europe.
In the college game:
I know this is an NFL league, but please catch a couple of NCAA games…

The (12)Florida offense was a goddamned disgrace for the umpteenth week and their outstanding defense couldn’t hold up any longer as (13)Florida State wore them down and eventually scored 2 late TDs in the Swamp to win 27-2. Two? That’s all we got is two goddamned points?!? Good luck against (2) Alabama in the SEC championship game, kiddos. Wait, what? Alabama opened as a 17 point favorite? Do yourself a favor and GIVE THE POINTS!!! Meanwhile, Lucifer Nick Saban continues to give ZERO f—s about the health of his players as he pounded his running back Derrick Henry into the Auburn defense 46 times for 271 yards in their 29-13 win. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. FORTY FREAKIN SIX carries. And in case you were wondering, why YES, that IS a school record for carries in a game. By comparison, Adrian Peterson leads the NFL in carries this year and his high in a game is 29. The NFL record is 45 carries by Jamie Morris (Wash v Cin 12/17/88).
(1)Clemson snuck by in-state rival South Carolina 37-32. (14) North Carolina went up 35-7 then held on against NC State 45-34. That sets up the ACC Championship game between the two. Clemson wins, they’re in the playoff. If North Carolina wins, all hell breaks loose.
(3) Oklahoma wrapped up a playoff spot with a trouncing at (11) Oklahoma State 58-23.
(4) Iowa had a hard fought win in the snow at Nebraska 28-20 as Iowa’s MVP of the game was Tommy Armstrong – Nebraska’s QB who threw 4 INTs. Jesus, with a stat line like that, maybe he will be drafted by Washington or as  a backup for Eli with the Giants.
(5) Michigan State put the beatdown on Penn State 55-16. Those teams will play in the Big Ten (even though there are 14) championship game. The winner of that game will be in the playoffs.
(6) Notre Dame took a late lead AT (9) Stanford as they scored a TD with 00:30 left in the fourth to take a 36-35 lead, but completely screwed the pooch on defense, allowing Stanford to drive down the field and kick a 45 yard FG FTW and Stanford won 38-36.
Week 13 Thursday Games:
Um, this is awkward… 2 teams that played on Thanksgiving play on Thursday again
Green Bay AT Detroit

Week 13 Byes:
No more byes got me like:  https://youtu.be/gzD50-jYcKk?t=15s
League Standings:
Nuts
Team
Record
Pts
3
Yo Soy Fiesta
7-5
1130.85
4
The Bumble Bunch
6-6
1236.65
5
Mike’s High Flyers
6-6
1148.95
6
Eddie’s Eagles
6-6
1144.60
Bolts
1
Culver’s Crusaders
9-3
1360.95
8
PMS
6-6
1073.70
10
Wild Eyed & Wicked
6-6
1126.95
11
Marc’s Majestic Team
5-7
1089.30
Screws
2
Butch’s Bonecrushers
7-5
1207.55
7
Spider 2 Y Banana
6-6
1109.15
9
Full Goose Bozo’s
5-7
1236.50
12
Jodie’s Generals
4-8
1053.55
Week 13 Matchups
And DOWN the stretch they come!!! Some teams act like THIS, others, not so much (2:22 mark AND 2:40)
Chris
V
Norm
Mike
V
Greg
Kim
V
Dan
Doug
V
Marc
Dave
V
Ed
Brian
V
Jodie
Good Luck to All!!!
The Commish