9/27 – Week 3 Wrap up, Week 4 Preview

Week 3 Wrap Up:


Chris
85.65
Brian
94.40
Jodie
114.60
Norm
73.55
Kim
138.70
Doug
93.05
Dan
118.05
Marc
76.30
Dave
118.05
Greg
112.70
Mike
101.70
Ed
78.55


League Standings


Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Dan
3-0
3-0
355.35
238.20
Greg
8
Kim
1-2
1-2
292.05
325.20
Jodie
9
Marc
1-2
1-2
288.50
285.05
Chris
10
Doug
1-2
1-2
268.60
356.05
Ed


Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Mike
2-1
2-1
338.25
320.95
Brian
5
Dave
2-1
2-1
330.85
308.50
Norm
6
Ed
2-1
2-1
295.50
278.85
Doug
11
Greg
0-3
0-3
319.45
375.75
Dan


Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Brian
3-0
3-0
308.50
269.70
Mike
4
Jodie
2-1
2-1
347.45
310.90
Kim
7
Chris
1-2
1-2
307.55
312.15
Marc
12
Norm
0-3
0-3
242.45
313.20
Dave


Thursday Night Football:
Dolphins (0-2) @ Bengals (1-1) (8:25 pm)
Miami2.jpgCincy2.jpg



Sunday Schedule


Indianapolis
@
Jacksonville
Detroit
@
Chicago
Cleveland
@
Washington
Denver
@
Tampa Bay
Tennessee
@
Houston
Dallas
@
San Francisco
Seattle
@
NY Jets
Los Angeles
@
Arizona
Oakland
@
Baltimore
New Orleans
@
San Diego
Buffalo
@
New England
Kansas City
@
Pittsburgh
Carolina
@
Atlanta
Byes:
GB, Philly


Monday Night Football:
Giants (2-0) @ Vikings (2-0) (8:30 pm)


NYG3.pngVikings1.jpg

Around the League:




Odell Beckham and Josh Norman had lots of fun playing against each other.
Wait a minute… is he CRYING?!? There’s no crying in football!!! You better have a bone broken or be out for the year if you’re going to cry like that!


The Packers got all tricky-tracky because they know the rules. Are we going to get the ball on the 3? Nope… make it the 40 yard line. Great play by the kickoff returner.


Poor, poor Philip Rivers… stuck in the same purgatory for 10 years now. I know we were up 2 with 1:28 left, but our defense just gave up a 63 yard TD to T.Y. Hilton. Hey, Phil, you’re down 4 with 1:17 left and no timeouts at your own 25 yard line AND your TE will fumble after you hit him on a nice 18 yard reception. Go get em, pal! This is the closest thing the NFL has to Sisyphus.


What’s Gronk up to?


He’s finally back on the field. Granted it was only for 14 snaps, but if you’re up 27-0 and have 10 days off to rest, there’s no reason to put him in more harm’s way.
He’s got his first pair of sneakers/trainers out from Nike. They can glow in the dark!


Bozo of the week


20823568_joker-romero-1280-1415129727198.jpg


Second Runner Up
Cam Newton


Cam, baby, you can look like this after you win a game. You CAN’T look like this after scoring 10 points and losing at home to the Bridgewater-less and Peterson-less Vikings.


First Runner Up:
Jameis Winston


You’re at home. You’re playing the LA Rams, who haven’t scored a TD since 1994. You NEED to win this game because your next 2 are v. Denver then Carolina. What do your Bucs do? Your 2nd round kicker misses an extra point, then a field goal. You go down 23-20, then while driving you hold on to the ball WAY too long and have a strip sack, fumble, returned for TD. You get it back to 37-32. You go for the two point conversion to make it a 3 point game, but fail. There is a weather delay of all things at the 2:00 warning.

You get the ball back and are driving down to the LA 15 with a few seconds left, then you show an unbelievable lack of awareness with THIS beauty.


CmonMan double.jpg


By the way, Tampa Defensive Coordinator Mike Smith… yes former Falcons head coach and Jaguars DC Mike Smith. The guy who is to clock management as Donald Trump is to fact-checking. Get your head out of your backside. You’ve got talent on defense. WAY too much talent to give up 24 to Atlanta, 40 to Arizona and THIRTY FLIPPIN SEVEN to the LA Rams who all saw a physician and every player tested positive for being allergic to the end zone.


Winner:
Ryan Fitzpatrick


Afghanistan.png


The Jets had EIGHT turnovers, SIX of those were interceptions and took the L at Kansas City 24-3. After those six interceptions, the internet do what it do. At least Ryan got his name in the same sentence as Joe Namath… the only other Jets QB in history who threw 6 in one game. Back in 1975!!  It says something about the Chiefs as well, when you get that many turnovers and only put up 24 points… 7 of which was an interception return for TD. What the hell, guys? Did you want the Jets to HAND you the ball AND escort you into the end zone too?



This… THIS is the world we live in?


Dylan.gif


Soccer Haircut of the week:


Ronaldo (Luís Nazário de Lima) – Former Brazilian Striker (62 goals in 98 appearances) and played his club football for: Cruzeiro, PSV Eindhoven, Barcelona, Inter Milan. Real Madrid, AC Milan, and Corinthians (247 goals in 3 appearances for all clubs). He is widely considered one of the greatest football players of all time… but that haircut… Woooooooo!!!! He’s also had an interesting scandal that you don’t see in the US… ever… Transvestite Prostitutes that he didn’t know were dudes at the time until they got back to the hotel! He was engaged at the time.. After this story broke he was formerly-engaged.


14 Ronaldo.jpg
You may ask what the hell he’s doing (and I agree with you), but he’s got something for you:
Ace1.gif


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!
boss3.gif

The Commish

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In the College Game – Week 4 – 9/26/16

In the College Game: – Week 4


Week 4


Kent State 0 @ (1) Alabama 48


(3) Louisville 59 @ Marshall 28



Penn State 10 @ (4) Michigan 49



(5) Clemson 26 @ Georgia Tech 7



(6) Houston 64 @ Texas State 3



(7) Stanford 22 @ UCLA 13



(11) Wisconsin 30 @ (8) Michigan State 6



(9) Washington 35 @ Arizona 28/OT



(17) Arkansas 24 @ (10) Texas A&M 45


Akransas.png



(12) Georgia 14 @ (23) Ole Miss 45



(13) Florida State 55 @ South Florida 35



(19) Florida 28 @ (14) Tennessee 38


Oklahoma State 24 @ (16) Baylor 35
(18) LSU 13 @ Auburn 18
Somehow, LSU STILL can’t find an offense… even though they have Leonard Fournette… ridicuous RB and 6’4” WR Malachi Dupre (who you’ll see playing on Sundays)



After each Auburn win at home, the Tiger faithful go down to Toomer’s Corner and toilet paper roll the trees at that corner in celebration. Well, one year an Alabama fan didn’t like that too much and actually poisoned the soil around those trees, killing them. After many years and a clean up program of the soil, new trees were planted there and the rolling resumed. After the win against LSU, the trees were rolled again… however TP is flammable and someone decided to light the paper on fire. This is the result:



Oh, wait, they had Cam Cameron as their Offensive Coordinator. He’s AWFUL. Here’s part of his resume: the 2007 Miami Dolphins. He was the guy the Ravens had to fire and bring in unblinking mannequin Jim Caldwell as the new OC. Under Caldwell, they won Super Bowl XLVII. Hire that fraud as your OC, you get what you deserve. I’ll miss the Mad Hatter!


(20) Nebraska 24 @ Northwestern 13
USC 27 @ (24) Utah 31



Unfortunate teammate names next to each other


dingle_berry.jpg


Duke 38 @ Notre Dame 35



Brian Kelly was furious with the loss… what else is new? The internet do what it do post-game. Then, in a move straight out of the Rex Ryan playbook, Notre Dame (see Brian Kelly) fired defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder because he didn’t want to fire himself.


Pittsburgh 36 @ North Carolina 37



TCU 33 @ SMU 3
BYU 32 @ West Virginia 35



Colorado 41 @ Oregon 38



Cal 41 @ Arizona State 51 – Over/Under = 82.5… take the over.

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9/20 – Week 2 Wrap-Up, Week 3 Preview

Week 2 Wrap Up:


Chris
102.75
Norm
87.10
Jodie
102.20
Brian
118.25
Kim
90.00
Dan
112.70
Doug
103.65
Marc
92.55
Greg
117.95
Mike
140.55
Ed
100.00
Dave
88.35


Week 3 Matchups:


Chris
@
Brian
Jodie
@
Norm
Kim
@
Doug
Dan
@
Marc
Greg
@
Dave
Ed
@
Mike


Thursday Night Football:
Texans (2-0)@ Patriots (2-0)(8:25p)
Texans3.jpgPats7.jpg


Sunday Schedule
Washington
@
NY Giants
Baltimore
@
Jacksonville
Cleveland
@
Miami
Minnesota
@
Carolina
Arizona
@
Buffalo
Denver
@
Cincinnati
Detroit
@
Green Bay
Oakland
@
Tennessee
Los Angeles
@
Tampa Bay
San Francisco
@
Seattle
Pittsburgh
@
Philadelphia
NY Jets
@
Kansas City
San Diego
@
Indianapolis
Chicago
@
Dallas


Washington @ NY Giants means something you were never clamoring for: The return of Josh Brown!!!
Why is this a big deal you ask? Isn’t he a placekicker you say?
Yes, he’s returning from a ONE game suspension for domestic violence against his wife, who has since divorced him. Wait a second (you say)… didn’t the whole Ray Rice incident prompt the NFL to create a policy that the first time there is a domestic violence incident that the player will be suspended for SIX games?  I mean, this guy just pledged his entire salary to domestic abuse charities if someone would sign him. He’d be playing for free and can’t get a sniff as a RB, so I’m sure that the looked down upon kicker has NO chance. I saw them start that whole ‘No More’ domestic violence charity with tons of commercials staring into the camera with a white background just talking.


Didn’t they dedicate the whole month of October to raising awareness about breast cancer screenings? They are showing they care about women’s issues, aren’t they? You’re absolutely right!!! Why the differences here?


Because BLEEP you, that’s why! The NFL has no interest in consistency or justice or even following their own policies! (THIS is the definition of good journalism… and why good journalism is important.) They just want Josh to kick field goals. I mean, 37 year old kickers are hard to come by, amiright?!? Pink October? A complete sham. They saw a whole market (51% of the population) – women – that they weren’t selling product to. We’ll throw them a bone here or there to make them feel like we care and BOOM!!  Just another way to make you spend money on more product. It’s all about moving inventory, baby! They don’t care because you’re sheeple and will watch their product no matter what they do. You’ll watch it no matter how awful the product is or how incompetent the referees are as well. Just fork over your cash and stop making the owners wait so long to start counting it. Basically you’re Fry in Futurama.
Fry Money.gif


Well, there IS also the whole Odell Beckham Jr. v. Josh Norman feud that is reconvening as well. Last year it got U-G-L-Y and there was NO alibi.


Also, Odell seems to be having the time of his life:


Detroit v Green Bay also reminds us of the Hail Mary game ender from last year.. And sunk Calvin Johnson into retirement:


Monday Night Football:
Falcons (1-1)@ Saints (0-2)(8:30)


Atlanta1.jpgNO6.jpg


One day after the 10 year anniversary of the Saints returning to the SuperDome after Katrina left the city in shambles, they meet again!



Desmond Trufant also ALMOST gave us Bill Gramatica part 2.


Around the League:




Adrian Peterson: Torn Meniscus. No timetable for return yet.
Jimmy Grapps: Sprained AC Joint in throwing shoulder (Unlikely to play Thursday) – Welcome to the Jacoby Brissett era!
Josh McCown – Shoulder – Will not play week 3 – Welcome to the Cody Kessler era!
Danny Woodhead – Torn ACL, out for season


We finally found out who ‘Fake Tom Brady’ is… YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHO IT IS!!!


Speaking of Tom, he was at his alma-mater this weekend as an honorary captain before the Colorado-Michigan game. He gave a ‘chilling’ pregame speech and it looks like he’ll play catch with damn near anyone, as he threw it around with Jim Harbaugh before the game. The Wolverines fell behind 21-7 before coming back to win 45-28.


What’s Gronk up to?


He may be off of the field because of a hamstring injury but he’s not too injured to be your coach on all things financial! No, I’m not kidding. He’s a spokesperson for Mass Mutual. This should make you question Mass Mutual’s decision making.


Bozo of the week


Baskets_102_Selected_Scene_Clean-FX_WEB_4500_1280x720_620581955878.jpg


Second Runner Up:


The Minnesota Vikings Stadium planning staff!
Congratulations to the taxpayers of Minnesota for contributing to a gorgeous new stadium. Of course, that stadium is killing birds right and left because of all of the glass, but don’t worry about that! Just look at Bud Grant blowing the huge new Gjallarhorn!!
Bud Grant.jpg
Now, I know you’ve spent a ton of money, but could you fork over just about $50k more because we apparently don’t have a medical cart to take injured running back, Adrian Peterson, off of the field on and we have to have 2 guys carry him to the locker room. Would you do that?
Yeah Thatd Be Great.jpg


First Runner Up:


The Baltimore @ Cleveland officials
Look, I know the Cavaliers just won the city of Cleveland a title and I know the Browns were up 20-0 in this game… BUT…
When a guy makes a catch at the 10 on a potential game winning drive, goes to flip the ball to the official, it sticks slightly to his hand and hits the opposing DB, let’s try NOT to interject ourselves into the equation and make a soul-crushing Unsportsmanlike Taunting call. That was CLEARLY not what Terrelle Pryor was trying to do. What did the Browns to IMMEDIATELY after that call? Of course, they threw an interception into triple coverage. It didn’t have to be that way, officials. People didn’t come to see you. Try to be as invisible as you can be out there…
Yeah Thatd Be Great.jpg


Winner:





If you propose to your significant other while doing just ONE of these things:
  1. Wearing beat up ‘Redskins’ socks pulled up as far as you can
  2. Wear Slides/Flip Flops OVER said socks
  3. Wearing baggy Jorts
  4. Wearing a black ‘Sean Taylor’ (R.I.P.) Redskins jersey with the numerals in american flag form
  5. Wearing a Woodland Camo Redskins hat
  6. Making Vernon Davis make that face
You might be a redneck… but to combine all SIX?!?!



This… THIS is the world we live in?


Dylan.gif


Soccer Haircut of the week:


Djibril Cisse (Retired Striker for Auxerre, Liverpool, Marseille, Sunderland and Panathinaikos and the French National Team)
12 Djbril Cisse.jpgDjibril Cisse.jpg


You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:
30wphfo.jpg.gif


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!


Boss2.gif
(That’s right! He’s wearing a Whalers T-shirt… Like a Boss)

The Commish

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via IFTTT

9/20 – Week 2 Wrap-Up, Week 3 Preview

Week 2 Wrap Up:


Chris
102.75
Norm
87.10
Jodie
102.20
Brian
118.25
Kim
90.00
Dan
112.70
Doug
103.65
Marc
92.55
Greg
117.95
Mike
140.55
Ed
100.00
Dave
88.35


Week 3 Matchups:


Chris
@
Brian
Jodie
@
Norm
Kim
@
Doug
Dan
@
Marc
Greg
@
Dave
Ed
@
Mike


Thursday Night Football:
Texans (2-0)@ Patriots (2-0)(8:25p)
Texans3.jpgPats7.jpg


Sunday Schedule
Washington
@
NY Giants
Baltimore
@
Jacksonville
Cleveland
@
Miami
Minnesota
@
Carolina
Arizona
@
Buffalo
Denver
@
Cincinnati
Detroit
@
Green Bay
Oakland
@
Tennessee
Los Angeles
@
Tampa Bay
San Francisco
@
Seattle
Pittsburgh
@
Philadelphia
NY Jets
@
Kansas City
San Diego
@
Indianapolis
Chicago
@
Dallas


Washington @ NY Giants means something you were never clamoring for: The return of Josh Brown!!!
Why is this a big deal you ask? Isn’t he a placekicker you say?
Yes, he’s returning from a ONE game suspension for domestic violence against his wife, who has since divorced him. Wait a second (you say)… didn’t the whole Ray Rice incident prompt the NFL to create a policy that the first time there is a domestic violence incident that the player will be suspended for SIX games?  I mean, this guy just pledged his entire salary to domestic abuse charities if someone would sign him. He’d be playing for free and can’t get a sniff as a RB, so I’m sure that the looked down upon kicker has NO chance. I saw them start that whole ‘No More’ domestic violence charity with tons of commercials staring into the camera with a white background just talking.


Didn’t they dedicate the whole month of October to raising awareness about breast cancer screenings? They are showing they care about women’s issues, aren’t they? You’re absolutely right!!! Why the differences here?


Because BLEEP you, that’s why! The NFL has no interest in consistency or justice or even following their own policies! (THIS is the definition of good journalism… and why good journalism is important.) They just want Josh to kick field goals. I mean, 37 year old kickers are hard to come by, amiright?!? Pink October? A complete sham. They saw a whole market (51% of the population) – women – that they weren’t selling product to. We’ll throw them a bone here or there to make them feel like we care and BOOM!!  Just another way to make you spend money on more product. It’s all about moving inventory, baby! They don’t care because you’re sheeple and will watch their product no matter what they do. You’ll watch it no matter how awful the product is or how incompetent the referees are as well. Just fork over your cash and stop making the owners wait so long to start counting it. Basically you’re Fry in Futurama.
Fry Money.gif


Well, there IS also the whole Odell Beckham Jr. v. Josh Norman feud that is reconvening as well. Last year it got U-G-L-Y and there was NO alibi.


Also, Odell seems to be having the time of his life:


Detroit v Green Bay also reminds us of the Hail Mary game ender from last year.. And sunk Calvin Johnson into retirement:


Monday Night Football:
Falcons (1-1)@ Saints (0-2)(8:30)


Atlanta1.jpgNO6.jpg


One day after the 10 year anniversary of the Saints returning to the SuperDome after Katrina left the city in shambles, they meet again!



Desmond Trufant also ALMOST gave us Bill Gramatica part 2.


Around the League:




Adrian Peterson: Torn Meniscus. No timetable for return yet.
Jimmy Grapps: Sprained AC Joint in throwing shoulder (Unlikely to play Thursday) – Welcome to the Jacoby Brissett era!
Josh McCown – Shoulder – Will not play week 3 – Welcome to the Cody Kessler era!
Danny Woodhead – Torn ACL, out for season


We finally found out who ‘Fake Tom Brady’ is… YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHO IT IS!!!


Speaking of Tom, he was at his alma-mater this weekend as an honorary captain before the Colorado-Michigan game. He gave a ‘chilling’ pregame speech and it looks like he’ll play catch with damn near anyone, as he threw it around with Jim Harbaugh before the game. The Wolverines fell behind 21-7 before coming back to win 45-28.


What’s Gronk up to?


He may be off of the field because of a hamstring injury but he’s not too injured to be your coach on all things financial! No, I’m not kidding. He’s a spokesperson for Mass Mutual. This should make you question Mass Mutual’s decision making.


Bozo of the week


Baskets_102_Selected_Scene_Clean-FX_WEB_4500_1280x720_620581955878.jpg


Second Runner Up:


The Minnesota Vikings Stadium planning staff!
Congratulations to the taxpayers of Minnesota for contributing to a gorgeous new stadium. Of course, that stadium is killing birds right and left because of all of the glass, but don’t worry about that! Just look at Bud Grant blowing the huge new Gjallarhorn!!
Bud Grant.jpg
Now, I know you’ve spent a ton of money, but could you fork over just about $50k more because we apparently don’t have a medical cart to take injured running back, Adrian Peterson, off of the field on and we have to have 2 guys carry him to the locker room. Would you do that?
Yeah Thatd Be Great.jpg


First Runner Up:


The Baltimore @ Cleveland officials
Look, I know the Cavaliers just won the city of Cleveland a title and I know the Browns were up 20-0 in this game… BUT…
When a guy makes a catch at the 10 on a potential game winning drive, goes to flip the ball to the official, it sticks slightly to his hand and hits the opposing DB, let’s try NOT to interject ourselves into the equation and make a soul-crushing Unsportsmanlike Taunting call. That was CLEARLY not what Terrelle Pryor was trying to do. What did the Browns to IMMEDIATELY after that call? Of course, they threw an interception into triple coverage. It didn’t have to be that way, officials. People didn’t come to see you. Try to be as invisible as you can be out there…
Yeah Thatd Be Great.jpg


Winner:





If you propose to your significant other while doing just ONE of these things:
  1. Wearing beat up ‘Redskins’ socks pulled up as far as you can
  2. Wear Slides/Flip Flops OVER said socks
  3. Wearing baggy Jorts
  4. Wearing a black ‘Sean Taylor’ (R.I.P.) Redskins jersey with the numerals in american flag form
  5. Wearing a Woodland Camo Redskins hat
  6. Making Vernon Davis make that face
You might be a redneck… but to combine all SIX?!?!



This… THIS is the world we live in?


Dylan.gif


Soccer Haircut of the week:


Djibril Cisse (Retired Striker for Auxerre, Liverpool, Marseille, Sunderland and Panathinaikos and the French National Team)
12 Djbril Cisse.jpgDjibril Cisse.jpg


You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:
30wphfo.jpg.gif


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!


Boss2.gif
(That’s right! He’s wearing a Whalers T-shirt… Like a Boss)

The Commish

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In the College Game – Week 3 – 09/19/16

In the College Game: – Week 3

Unfortunate teammate names next to each other

Coke Head.jpg

Week 3

(1)Alabama 48 @ (19)Ole Miss 43
You’re at home and you’ve got Alabama down 21 points in the second quarter. Here’s what you CAN’T do: Give up a punt return TD, fumble return TD AND an interception return TD by a defensive tackle. THAT’S why you’re Ole Miss.

(2)Florida St. 20 @ (10)Louisville 63
Let’s check in on Louisville and how Lamar Jackson is treating the Seminoles:


Also:



(3)Ohio St. 45 @ (14)Oklahoma 24

Big Game Bob Stoops isn’t waiting around before losing his big games THIS year. He’s getting them out of the way early! Also: Kids… it’s not a TD if you don’t CROSS the goal line WITH the ball.


Colorado 28 @ (4) Michigan 45

Tom Brady was an honorary captain, threw the ball around with Jim Harbaugh, delivered a ‘chilling’ pregame speech, then watched as the Wolverines scared the dog-piss out of their faithful by falling behind 21-7 to Colorado.

South Carolina St 0 @ (5) Clemson 59
Remember, after catching a kickoff in the end zone, you need to KNEEL before flipping the ball to the referee!


(6)Houston 40 @ Cincinnati 16

A 28-6 fourth quarter will take a close game and make it a blowout. Of course, there were twists and turns along the way, but the better team won.

USC 10 @ (7)Stanford 27
Portland St. 3  @ (8) Washington 41
Georgia St. 17 @ (9) Wisconsin 23

(11)Texas 43 @ California 50
Also: Kids… it’s not a TD if you don’t CROSS the goal line WITH the ball.


(12)Michigan St. 36 @ (18)Notre Dame 28
North Dakota St.23 @ (13)Iowa 21

If you play with the Bison, you’re going to get the horns!


Ohio 19 @ (15) Tennessee 28

Un-Im-Press-Ive clap, clap, clapclapclap
You get to face a Florida team who is without its starting QB because North freakin Texas took a shot at his knee that looked pretty much like when Tom Brady and Trent Green had their ACLs torn. Someone is smiling down on you this year.

(16)Georgia 28 @ Missouri 27

Georgia scored a TD late and THIS guy went a little too crazy:



(17)Texas A&M 29 @ Auburn 16
Mississippi St. 20 @ (20)LSU 23

Leonard Fournette is not fair. Good thing LSU’s QB stinks for the 874th year in a row to even things out for the opponents:

(21) Baylor 38 @ Rice 10
(22)Oregon 32 @ Nebraska 35

Tommy Armstrong, who is in his 21st season as Nebraska’s QB scored the game winning TD

North Texas 0 @ (23) Florida 32

The Luke Del Rio hit is at the 3:59 mark. North Texas had 53 total yards of offense.

Texas St  3 @ (24) Arkansas 42
(25) Miami (FL) 45 @ Appalachian St. 10
Pittsburgh 38 @ Oklahoma St. 45
UCLA 17 @ BYU 14
Iowa St 20 @ TCU 41
Temple 27 @ Penn St. 34

This year’s version of the molester bowl. Bill Cosby’s alma-mater v Jerry Sandusky’s enablers.
This year’s game was even MORE revolting, as Penn State ‘HONORED’ 50 years of Joe Paterno.

South Florida 45 @ Syracuse 20
Boston College 0 @ Virginia Tech 49

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In The College Game – Week 2

In the College Game: – Week 2

College Football is BACK and so is Brent!!!


Brent throwing shade at Bobby Petrino! To be fair, Petrino deserved it. Read why HERE. That motorcycle crash led to one of the best press conferences of all time AND one of the best press conference pictures of all time. Coach can you explain why you crashed a motorcycle with a woman on back who wasn’t your wife?
PETRINO Neck Brace.jpg

When you THINK you know what the scoreboard says but you can’t believe it’s true

Jameis Squint.gif

Jameis is having none of a 28-13 halftime deficit to Ole Miss


Unfortunate teammate names next to each other

Clark Griswold.jpg

Week 2

Well, it couldn’t all be as fantastic as the first week. Week 2 is a dog.
(17)Tennessee 45 – Virginia Tech 24 at Bristol (TN) Motor speedway
(13) Louisville 62 @ Syracuse 28
Penn State 39 @ Pittsburgh 42
Boston College 26 v. UMass 7 at Gillette Stadium
Kentucky 7 @ Florida 45
South Carolina 14 @ Mississippi St. 27
Arkansas 41 @ (15) TCU 38 (2OT)
Iowa St 3 @ Iowa 42
BYU 19 @ Utah 20

Not a lot of meat on that bone. The top end teams are having cupcakes for Saturday this week… for the most part

Central Michigan 30 @ (22)Oklahoma State 27
Listen to how fired up Brock Gutierrez in the Central Michigan radio booth was!

Even more crazy is this: That play should have never happened. Oklahoma St. had the ball on 4th down and threw it way down the field as time expired. The officials called intentional grounding, penalized Oklahoma St, loss of down, yardage AND gave the ball to CMU for an untimed down EVEN THOUGH the game CAN end when a penalty is on the offense, but cannot end when it’s on the defense. Let Mike Pereira explain:



Oops indeed, Mike… oops indeed.

Western Kentucky 10 – (1) ‘Bama 38

This game included an arguement… excuse me, Nick… an Asschewing of OC Lane Kiffin BY Nick Saban. Notice the score and time left on the clock:



Troy 24 – (2) Clemson 30

Another close escape for the Tigers… they won’t be #2 for long if they keep this up.

Charleston Southern 8 – (3) Florida St. 52


Tulsa 3 – (4) Ohio State 48



Central Florida 14 – (5) Michigan 51


Lamar 0 – (6) Houston 42
Idaho 14 – (8) Washington 59
Nicholls 24 – (9) Georgia 26 — WHEW!!!!
Akron 10 – (10) Wisconsin 54
UTEP 7 – (11) Texas 41
Louisiana Monroe 17 – (14) Oklahoma 59
Nevada 10 – (18) Notre Dame 39
Wofford 13 – (19) Ole Miss 38
Prairie View 0 – (20) Texas A&M 67 – Why so MEAN?!?
Jacksonville St 13 – (21) LSU 34
SMU 13 – (23) Baylor 40
Virginia 26 – (24) Oregon 44
Florida Atlantic 10 – (25) Miami (FL) 38

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9/6 – Week 1 Wrap Up, Week 2 Preview

Week 1 Wrap Up:


Chris
119.15
Jodie
130.65
Brian
95.85
Norm
81.85
Ed
117.15
Greg
88.80
Mike
96.00
Dave
124.45
Doug
71.90
Dan
124.80
Kim
63.35
Marc
119.65


Week 2 Matchups:
Chris
@
Norm
Jodie
@
Brian
Kim
@
Dan
Doug
@
Marc
Greg
@
Mike
Ed
@
Dave


A technological breakthrough YOU should have thought of:


It’s the TV Beer Mug. What is a TV Beer Mug you say? It lets you watch more TV WHILE drinking. Click the link to find out more.
Mo Money.gifLiz Lemon3.gif
Thursday Night Football:
NY Jets @ Bills (8:25)
Jets6.pngBuffalo1.jpg


Sunday Schedule
Cincinnati
@
Pittsburgh
Tennessee
@
Detroit
Baltimore
@
Cleveland
Dallas
@
Washington
New Orleans
@
NY Giants
San Francisco
@
Carolina
Miami
@
New England
Kansas City
@
Houston
Seattle
@
Los Angeles
Tampa Bay
@
Arizona
Jacksonville
@
San Diego
Atlanta
@
Oakland
Indianapolis
@
Denver
Green Bay
@
Minnesota


Cincy v Pittsburgh means tons of fun stuff like:
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And…
Porter Pacman.gifSteelers Bengals.gif


Any Green Bay v. Minnesota game also allows us to re-live the Antonio Freeman/Cris Dishman catch on MNF, AND the Randy Moss fake mooning the fans playoff game!


Monday Night Football:
Eagles @ Bears (8:30)
Eagles2.jpgChicago1.jpg


Around the League:


Suspensions/Injuries:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)




All injuries will be listed in the link above… I’m not putting anything else on here unless it’s major… Like Tom Brady slicing his thumb with a pair of scissors while trying to remove something off of his cleat.


Other News:


Bozo of the week


the-joker-the-dark-knight-wallpaper-26320.jpg


First Runner Up:


Monday Night Football moron fan on the field!!!


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Winner:
Browns-Eagles officials!!


You have ONE job… try not to screw this up… oh, wait…


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NFL officials, screwing things up since…
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This… THIS is the world we live in?


Dylan.gif


Soccer Haircut of the week:


Abel Luís da Silva Costa Xavier (Formerly a FullBack who played for the likes of: Benfica, PSV, Everton, Liverpool, Galatasaray, Middlesbrough, Roma and LA Galaxy; Current Head Coach of the Mozambique National Team)


17 Abel Xavier.jpg18 Abel Xavier.jpg

You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:


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Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!


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The Commish

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In the College Game – Week 1

In the College Game: – Week 1

College Football is BACK and so is Brent!!!

Brent.jpg

Man, this guy is EVERYWHERE!!! I knew he was a Falcons fan, but I didn’t know he was down for Louisville too! Quentin Tarantino movies, Star Wars, Nick Fury in the Marvel movies, Afro Samurai, Black Snake Moan, Shaft, Deep Blue Sea, A Time to Kill… NOW college sidelines too? How does he have the energy?

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… and yes.. HE saw it!
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University of Florida fans, Washington Racial Slurs fans and University of South Carolina fans…THIS is why you shouldn’t take Fox News as gospel…
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THIS is what the head ball coach is all about. He played the role of ‘Mr. Two bits’ before the Florida-UMass game where Florida field at Ben Hill Griffin stadium was renamed Steve Spurrier Field at Ben Hill Griffin stadium.

For one week, Penn State brought back the old ESPN segment ‘Jacked Up!’ Which linebacker or safety made the bone crushing hit? The 5’10” 271lb KICKER – Joey Julius!!!


Sam Fultz, punter at Nebraska, died this summer in a car crash. For Nebraska’s first point of the season, they came out with 10 men (punter missing). The crowd roared, tears were wept, Nebraska was called for delay of game, which Fresno St. declined.


(1)Alabama put the smack down on (20)USC 52-6 in Cowboys stadium. Former SC head coach Lane Diffon, who was fired at LAX after a game couldn’t let it lie without one more sick burn:
This game also featured an ejection of a player for: Nut stomping!

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(2)Clemson escaped Auburn 19-13

(3)Oklahoma didn’t wait to choke a big game away this year, they lost right off the bat at (15) Houston 33-23. Oh, there was a ‘kick 6’ this game too:


Wisconsin beat (5)LSU 16-14 when Brandon Harris threw a back breaking INT when LSU was on the outer range of field goal territory. Then things got interesting.
LSU Wisconsin.gif

(9) Tennessee SHOULD have lost at home to Appalachian State. It was 9 years to the day that App St. won AT Michigan. App St. missed an extra point AND a 42 yard field goal. Tennessee scored to put the game into OT, where they scored a TD when their QB got smoked at the 2 yard line, fumbled and Tennessee recovered in the end zone.
TennesseeAppSt.png

Luke Del Rio (Oakland Raiders’ head coach Jack’s son) played well, but (25)Florida struggled on offense to put away a pesky UMass Minuteman team, eventually scoring 14 in the 4th to win 24-7

The third best game of the weekend: (18) Georgia 33 – (22) North Carolina 22. This game featured the return of UGA RB Nick Chubb after he tore up his knee last year in the first play v. Tennessee. (not for the squeamish… it’s the finishing hit out of bounds that super hyper extends the knee)
Nick went for 222 yards and 2 TD including the fourth down TD to ice the win!


The second best game of the weekend: (16) UCLA 24 – Texas A&M 31 (OT)
A&M was up 24-9, feeling very comfortable, before UCLA came charging back with 15 in the fourth to tie the game and had a chance to win, but Josh Rosen (26/46 343 yards, 1 TD) threw one of his 3 interceptions at the 50 yard line with about a minute to go when UCLA was driving to kick the winning field goal.

The best game of the week: (10) Notre Dame 47 – Texas 50 F/2OT. You don’t like college? You don’t like Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St.Brown flipping through the air for a TD? How about an extra point to put Texas up by 3 being blocked and returned for 2 by ND to tie the game? How about the Texas kids lifting Charlie Strong off the field after the game?
Hey, camera guy and parabolic microphone guy… WATCH OUT!!!

ND Texas.gif

Not a great week for the SEC. Yes, Alabama, Georgia and Texas A&M won big games, but Florida, Arkansas and Tennessee struggled mightily to beat overmatched opponents while LSU, Auburn and Mississippi St. lost.

The Big Ten’s big two crushed their opponents into little bits. Michigan beat Hawaii 63-3 while Ohio State beat Bowling Green 77-10.

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Week 1 – 9/8/16

Bozo of the week

the-joker-the-dark-knight-wallpaper-26320.jpg
Runner Up:

61431889.jpg
Winner

This… THIS is the world we live in?

Dylan.gif

In the College Game:

Man, this guy is EVERYWHERE!!! I knew he was a Falcons fan, but I didn’t know he was down for Louisville too!


University of Florida fans, Washington Racial Slurs fans and University of South Carolina fans…THIS is why you shouldn’t take Fox News as gospel…

Gronk News:

He’s sick and tired of the grammar police:

So your Commish had to take matters into his own hands:

You’re welcome… AMERICA!

merica 11.gif

Around the League:

Suspensions/Injuries:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)

All injuries will be listed in the link above… I’m not putting anything else on here unless it’s major… Like Tom Brady slicing his thumb with a pair of scissors while trying to remove something off of his cleat.
Other News:

When you realize that NFL football is here this week:

Chance Beyonce.gif
The draft should be a CELEBRATION. Lots of fun to be had. We need the table to look like this:

Zoolander Jeep.gif

Week 1:

Dennis Green Memorial Patch

Good Luck to All!!!

Ostrich.gif

The Commish

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One Week Until the draft! – 8/31/16

Bozo of the week

clown vomit.jpg
Runner Up:

Rodney Harrison
As you know, since there is nothing really going on in the world of sports and we have 7,943,205,789,104 stations/news outlets that cover sports, they need to fill those hours and hours with content. Colin Kaepernick’s decision to sit during the National Anthem in protest of the treatment of minorities in the country. His quotes below:

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color,” Kaepernick told NFL Media in an exclusive interview after the game. “To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”
“This is not something that I am going to run by anybody,” he said. “I am not looking for approval. I have to stand up for people that are oppressed. … If they take football away, my endorsements from me, I know that I stood up for what is right.”
“I’ve been blessed to be able to get this far and have the privilege of being in the NFL and making the kind of money I make and enjoy luxuries like that. I can’t look in the mirror and see other people dying in the street that should have the same opportunities that I’ve had and say, you know what, I can live with myself.”
Regarding the military, which he has family and friends in: “They fight for freedom, they fight for the people, they fight for liberty and justice, for everyone. That’s not happening. People are dying in vain because this country isn’t holding their end of the bargain up.”

When that happened, all the media outlets send all of their people out to all of the training camps and all asked the same questions to all of the NFL players. When they were done getting sound from the players, they all asked each other their reactions about what Colin did… again, because there aren’t ACTUAL sports happening other than baseball.
So Colin couldn’t understand what real black men go through…
(even though Colin actually IS black)
61431889.jpg
Rodney, you’ve been commentating on NBC since you retired. Colin has been in the league for FIVE years. How do you not know this, man?
Winner

Brock Turner and Aaron Persky

Brock is the Stanford swimmer that raped a woman who was passed out and was only stopped because a couple of bicyclists saw the disgusting act and intervened.

If you read one thing all year, read the letter (or listen to CNN’s Ashleigh Banfield read it here) the victim read in court to Brock previous to sentencing.

Aaron Persky is the judge that sentenced Brock to 6 months in jail for that act… with 3 months off of that if he shows good behavior.

This… THIS is the world we live in?

Dylan.gif

In the College Game:

It starts THIS WEEKEND!!! Tons of great games are scheduled!
GT v BC in Dublin, Ireland!
#3 Oklahoma @ #15 Houston
#16 UCLA @ Texas A&M
#5 LSU @ Wisconsin in LAMBEAU FIELD!!!
#18 Georgia v #22 North Carolina in the Georgia Dome
#20 USC v #1 Alabama at Cowboys Stadium
#2 Clemson @ Auburn
#10 Notre Dame @ Texas
#11 Ole Miss v #4 FSU at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando, FL

Do you know who is really fired up for the season? THIS GUY!!! (Language NOT SAFE for tender ears)

In the Little League Game

This kid is going to be your next Molina/Varitek/Posada. Look at the commitment to the craft!

I keeps it real

Let’s see what Blake Bortles thought of the Jags performance in the first half against Cincinnati.
Oh, oh my…

WHAT in the…???

Most of you don’t watch the pageantry that is college football, but in case you missed the Alabama v Clemson National Championship game last year and don’t have an idea about just how big some of these people are:
#2 is Derrick Henry, RB and Heisman trophy winner.
That little dude in the ‘A’ jacket? He’s MARK INGRAM 2009 Heisman trophy winner and RB for the New Orleans Saints. Holy mother of GOD! Who’s the ‘little brother’ in this pic?

Ingram Henry.jpg

Around the League:

Suspensions/Injuries:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)

All injuries will be listed in the link above… I’m not putting anything else on here unless it’s major… Like Tom Brady slicing his thumb with a pair of scissors while trying to remove something off of his cleat.

Oh, Damn… Looks like Teddy Bridgewater’s knee exploded into a million pieces and then turned into a pile of goo…That’s terrible.

Rapoport Bridgewater.png
Other News:
Rick James Celebration.jpg

The draft should be a CELEBRATION. Lots of fun to be had. We need the table to look like this:

Zoolander Jeep.gif

KEEPER LIST:

Here are everyone’s keepers (in draft order)::

1
Jodie
DeMarco Murray
LeSean McCoy
2
Marc
Andrew Luck
DeAndre Hopkins
3
Doug
Tom Brady
Dez Bryant
4
Brian
Matt Forte
5
Kim
Demaryius Thomas
Devonta Freeman
6
Greg
Adrian Peterson
Jeremy Hill
7
Chris
Julio Jones
AJ Green
8
Ed
David Johnson
Carson Palmer
9
Norm
Todd Gurley III
Le’Veon Bell
10
Dave
Aaron Rodgers
Thomas Rawls
11
Mike
Cam Newton
Rob Gronkowski
12
Dan
Antonio Brown
Odell Beckham Jr.

The Commish has also decided to NOT do the big board this year with stickers. You will be handed a piece of paper with every owner including keepers. YOU will be responsible for writing down who has been selected.

IF you try to select someone who has already been selected, you will forfeit your pick to the owner right after you in the draft order. After that owner has made his/her selection, you can then pick.

Same rules as always:
If you say “Is player x hurt?” that is fine… if you say “Player X… is he injured?” You HAVE SELECTED player X.

The season begins Thursday 9/8 (just 1 week!), the DRAFT IS ON Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield at 5:45p-6:00p start time… or when Norm gets there.

If one of your two keepers gets injured in the week between the keeper deadline and the draft, you CAN change your keeper, but you MUST let me know ASAP, so I can inform the rest of the league so they can adjust their draft preparations accordingly.

The Great Roster Freeze:

If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.

Dennis Green Memorial Patch

Good Luck to All!!!
Bowie.gif

The Commish

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