Week 9 Wrap-Up, Week 10 Preview

Week 9 Wrap Up:
Chris
134.75
Mike
98.85
Kim
110.35
Ed
74.75
Doug
71.05
Brian
134.75
Dave
95.45
Jodie
112.15
Greg
95.30
Marc
107.30
Dan
109.50
Norm
105.85
League Standings
Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Dan
6-3
3-0
911.95
823.85
Mike
4
Doug
6-3
1-2
917.10
875.65
Dave
6
Marc
5-4
1-2
903.75
933.75
Norm
7
Kim
5-4
1-2
870.90
863.55
Brian
Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Dave
5-4
2-1
962.25
883.95
Doug
9
Mike
3-6
2-1
904.60
955.25
Dan
11
Ed
2-7
2-1
760.65
911.90
Chris
12
Greg
1-8
0-3
879.60
1019.50
Jodie
Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Brian
9-0
3-0
950.65
714.40
Kim
5
Jodie
5-4
2-1
932.75
890.10
Greg
8
Chris
4-5
1-2
966.75
1028.70
Ed
10
Norm
3-6
0-3
858.45
918.80
Marc
Thursday Night Football:
Browns @ Ravens (8:25 pm)
Browns on fire.jpgBaltimore5.png
A team so awful, even their home fans can’t coordinate a 3 part sign properly. The Zombie Browns at the old Browns.
Dawg Pound.jpg
Sunday Schedule
Packers
@
Titans
Vikings
@
DC Grudens
Bears
@
Buccaneers
Chiefs
@
Panthers
Falcons
@
Eagles
Rams
@
Jets
Broncos
@
Saints
Texans
@
Jaguars
Dolphins
@
Chargers
Cowboys
@
Steelers
49ers
@
Cardinals
Seahawks
@
Patriots
Byes:
BUF, DET
IND, OAK
Monday Night Football:
Bengals @ Giants
Cincy7.jpgNYG5.jpg
Around the League:
Dennis Green Memorial Patch
Good Luck to All!!!

The Commish

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Week 10 Wrap Up, Week 11 Preview

Week 10 Wrap Up:
Chris
103.00
Ed
69.40
Mike
100.25
Dan
105.90
Kim
92.00
Brian
88.45
Doug
99.10
Dave
109.45
Jodie
110.80
Greg
119.40
Norm
142.65
Marc
109.35
League Standings
Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Dan
7-3
3-0
1017.85
924.10
Dave
4
Doug
6-4
1-2
1016.20
985.10
Mike
5
Kim
6-4
1-2
962.90
952.00
Norm
8
Marc
5-5
1-2
1013.20
1076.40
Brian
Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Dave
6-4
2-1
1071.70
983.05
Dan
10
Mike
3-7
2-1
1004.85
1060.85
Doug
11
Greg
2-8
0-3
999.00
1130.40
Chris
12
Ed
2-8
2-1
830.05
1014.90
Jodie
Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Brian
9-1
3-0
1039.10
806.40
Marc
6
Chris
5-5
1-2
1069.45
1098.10
Greg
7
Jodie
5-5
2-1
1043.55
1009.50
Ed
9
Norm
4-6
0-3
1001.10
1028.15
Kim
Thursday Night Football:
Saints @ Panthers (8:25 pm)
NO5.jpgCarolina7.png
Sunday Schedule
Steelers
@
Browns
Ravens
@
Cowboys
Jaguars
@
Lions
Titans
@
Colts
Bills
@
Bengals
Buccaneers
@
Chiefs
Bears
@
Giants
Cardinals
@
Vikings
Dolphins
@
Rams
Patriots
@
49ers
Eagles
@
Seahawks
Packers
@
DC Grudens
Byes:
ATL, DEN
NYJ, SD
Monday Night Football:
Texans @ Raiders (8:30 pm)
Texans7.jpgRaiders9.jpg
Around the League:
What’s Gronk up to?
Getting crushed so hard by Earl Thomas that there were conflicting reports as to whether or not he had a punctured lung.
Then he gave props to Earl after that.

Bozo of the week
joker-money.png
First Runner Up:
Bill Simmons
It’s been a bad couple of weeks for Bill. His HBO show tanked and was cancelled, his parlay of the Pats winning the AFC East and Hillary winning the Presidency tanked so he turned to his beloved internet to do what he does. He criticized Cris Collinsworth’s analysis of why the Seattle O-Line looked good by saying that someone should ‘gently’ tell Cris that the Pats front 7 is bad. Cris was having none of it and 360 windmill dunked with his junk all up in Simmons’ face.
Collinsworth Simmons.jpg

Just look on the bright side, Bill… Your Pats are still 7-2.
Winner:
Brian
joffrey-dead.jpg
The King is dead, long live the king.
After a 9 week reign of terror over the league, Brian has finally lost.
He will be rueing the fact that he left Tyrell Williams (WHO?!? WR, SD) on the bench with his 18.50 points or even not playing Martellus Bennett (TE, NE) with his 10.20 points. The New England defense didn’t help with a full Blutarsky this week: 0.0.
His unbelievable luck in having everyone score poorly against him finally ran out and Kim strolled in like Negan while Lucille took Brian’s head clean off.
Negan SNL Chappelle.jpg
This… THIS is the world we live in?
Dylan.gif
Soccer Haircut of the week:
Rodrigo Palacio (Striker for Boca Juniors, Genoa and Internazionale (Milan) and formerly of the Argentinian national team)
30 Rodrigo Palacio.jpg
You may ask what the hell he’s doing (and I agree… what are THOSE?!?), but he’s got something for you:
Terminator-deal-with-it.gif
Dennis Green Memorial Patch
Good Luck to All!!!

The Commish

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Week 8 Wrap-Up, Week 9 Preview

Week 8 Wrap Up:
Chris
89.20
Dave
138.00
Mike
111.80
Jodie
116.40
Kim
82.15
Greg
116.10
Doug
112.85
Norm
87.30
Dan
59.05
Brian
91.50
Ed
72.95
Marc
89.10
League Standings
Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Doug
6-2
1-2
846.05
740.90
Brian
4
Dan
5-3
3-0
802.45
718.00
Norm
6
Marc
4-4
1-2
796.45
838.45
Greg
7
Kim
4-4
1-2
760.55
788.80
Ed
Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Dave
5-3
2-1
866.80
771.80
Jodie
9
Mike
3-5
2-1
805.75
820.50
Chris
11
Ed
2-6
2-1
685.90
801.55
Kim
12
Greg
1-7
0-3
784.30
912.20
Marc
Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Brian
8-0
3-0
815.90
643.65
Doug
5
Jodie
4-4
2-1
820.60
794.65
Dave
8
Chris
3-5
1-2
832.00
929.85
Mike
10
Norm
3-5
0-3
752.60
809.30
Dan
Thursday Night Football:
Falcons @ Buccaneers (8:25 pm)
Atlanta3a.jpgBucs11.png
Sunday Schedule
Steelers
@
Ravens
Cowboys
@
Browns
Jaguars
@
Chiefs
Jets
@
Dolphins
Eagles
@
Giants
Lions
@
Vikings
Panthers
@
Rams
Saints
@
49ers
Titans
@
Chargers
Colts
@
Packers
Broncos
@
Raiders
Byes:
CHI, CIN
NE, ARI
WAS, HOU
Monday Night Football:
Bills @ Seahawks (8:30 pm)
Buffalo7.jpgSeahawks1.jpg
Around the League:
Did you ever wonder if Tom Brady eats Halloween candy? Do you wonder if Tom Brady is a good actor? The answers are: Yes and NO!!! How do I know this? He posted a video of himself consuming candy and it is wonder-awful.
Speaking of the Patriots, someone threw a ‘marital aid’… on the field… during a play…
If you want to know more about the aid, what was written on the aid, and the reaction to the aid, CLICK HERE.
It’s Halloween
Time for athletes to dress up in very strange things:
Dave Chappelle didn’t show up but someone dressed like Rick James did:

Matt Harvey (P, NYM) is nicknamed the Dark Knight, but apparently doesn’t know a ton about Batman’s ouevre.. No, Matt, Joker is NOT a part of Two-face’s character.
Kevin Love finally lived up to his billing as a superstar with these costumes (with his girlfriend), but the whole Cavs roster went full out. Look at this!
What’s Gronk up to?
He’s putting on wigs and glasses and posing as a Lyft driver (Lyft for those of you who are unfamiliar is a direct competitor with Uber).
Bozo of the week
Shakes_the_Clown.jpg
First Runner Up:
Chris
For the second time you win the award. It’s ok, you would have lost anyway as your season slips away because you’ve had the most points scored against you this season. Only one guy is within 91 points of that… Greg, who is a robust 1-7 after winning this week.
You thought that hey, every QB has been going off on the Oakland secondary because their roster construction is redundant. Mike Lombardi (FS1 and the Bill Simmons podcast NFL analyst) says that Oakland built their secondary like a basketball team having all power forwards. Yeah, they can cover one type of guy great (other power forwards) but they can’t guard point guards, wing players or true centers. Oakland apparently can cover Mike Evans types, but not the Danny Woodhead small scooting guys and apparently, not huge Tight Ends or even good route running possession receivers either. Jameis is at home, he should do GREAT!
The problem is that you forgot your Buccaneers stink and you sat Derek Carr. While Derek didn’t do much the last few weeks, he decided to go off for 513 yards, 4 tds and 47.95 points. Sure, Jameis was OK with 24.60, but c’mon man!
Winner:
You… the American Public.
Not only are you subjected to this dumpster fire that won’t get off of your television that is the Presidential Election, but you may have been subjected to any of the following games:
Jacksonville at Tennessee
NY Jets at Cleveland
Or Minnesota at Chicago.
TNF Jags - Titans.jpg
Dawg Pound.jpg
There’s a big problem in that list: 2 of those were prime time games and the other had a team in the #1 market in America. Oh, Oakland which was not listed and was in an… eventful game had 23 penalties for 200 yards… and still beat Tampa in overtime when 2 defensive backs hit the receiver at the same time and knocked each other off the tackle. Very ‘Three Stooges.’
This… THIS is the world we live in?
Dylan.gif
Soccer Haircut of the week:
Giovanni Simeone – 21 year old Argentinian born Striker for Genoa (and formerly River Plate). His father is Diego Simeone who is the manager for Atletico Madrid.
Giovanni Simeone.png
You may ask what he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:
Aaaargh.gif
Dennis Green Memorial Patch
Good Luck to All!!!
Turtle.gif

The Commish

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Week 7 Wrap Up, Week 8 Preview

Week 7 Wrap Up:
Chris
132.60
Dan
102.55
Mike
91.10
Marc
95.45
Kim
98.95
Dave
97.20
Doug
85.10
Jodie
60.50
Greg
89.55
Norm
114.50
Brian
99.45
Ed
71.70
League Standings
Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Dan
5-2
3-0
743.40
626.50
Norm
4
Doug
5-2
1-2
733.20
653.60
Brian
5
Kim
4-3
1-2
678.40
672.70
Greg
7
Marc
3-4
1-2
707.35
765.50
Ed
Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Dave
4-3
2-1
728.80
682.60
Chris
9
Mike
3-4
2-1
693.95
704.10
Jodie
11
Ed
2-5
2-1
612.95
712.45
Marc
12
Greg
0-7
0-3
668.60
830.05
Kim
Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Brian
7-0
3-0
724.40
584.30
Dan
6
Chris
3-4
1-2
742.80
791.85
Dave
8
Jodie
3-4
2-1
704.20
682.85
Mike
10
Norm
3-4
0-3
665.30
696.85
Doug
Thursday Night Football:
Jaguars @ Titans (8:25 pm)
Jags5.jpgTitans2.png
Sunday Schedule
Washington
@
Bengals
Chiefs
@
Colts
Raiders
@
Buccaneers
Seahawks
@
Saints
Lions
@
Texans
Jets
@
Browns
Packers
@
Falcons
Patriots
@
Bills
Chargers
@
Broncos
Cardinals
@
Panthers
Eagles
@
Cowboys
Byes:
LA, MIA
NYG, PIT
SF, BALT
Monday Night Football:
Vikings @ Bears (8:30 pm)
Vikings8.jpgChicago3.jpg
Around the League:
We now know what Aaron Rodgers is going out for Halloween as:(during his post game press conference after beating the sorry-ass Bears)

Sorry Geno Smith Era 2.0… Gone to a torn ACL… maybe when you have a starting job and owe $600 to a defensive lineman, maybe you should just pay it and not risk losing your starting job, and having everything befall you that has befallen you. They’ve created an idiom about this: Let sleeping dogs lie.
The Arian Foster era is over. I’m not telling you who or what or if to worship in your spiritual life, but it’s rather ironic that Arian Foster was one of the best backs in the league prior to the 2015 season, announced in the 2015 preseason that he’s an athiest, immediately tore his achilles, then signed with the Dolphins, got injured again, then retired.
Say what you want about Trent Dilfer… but this is flawless logic and analysis:

What’s Gronk up to?
He scored his franchise tying 68th TD against the Steelers. He currently shares the record with Stanley Morgan. Does he know what is next? You bet your bippy he does!!! Gronk is a national treasure.
Bozo of the week
original.jpg
Second Runner Up:
The NFL
This group of clowns continues to amaze. They’re again proving that just because you have tons of money, that doesn’t mean you’re smart. Stop assuming that these people have characteristics that they keep showing you they don’t have.
From this weekend:
I already alerted you to this in week TWO!!! Read my stuff, Goodell!

No one knows what a catch is anymore… or pass interference… or if hitting someone as you jump over them as you attempt to block a FG is a penalty.
Speaking of that… a Seattle 6 – Arizona 6 game in OT had an opportunity for each to kick a GW FG in OT…
Attempt 1 by Arizona:

CmonMan crying.jpg
Attempt 2 by Seattle:
CmonMan double.jpg
You’ve got assistant coaches urinating into Gatorade cups on the sideline during the game.
The 49ers can’t return a punt. 49ers fever… CATCH IT… no really, catch the punt!
49ers Bucs muffed punt.gif
Speaking of jumping to block field goals: We had a 6-6 Sunday night primetime tie, followed by Trevor Siemian v. Brock Osweiler, followed by Jags @ Titans… but it’s KAEPERNICK’S fault that the ratings are down.
First Runner Up:
Dan
Left Jay Ajayi on the bench for the second consecutive week. The 27.60 points could have helped some, along with the 32.70 points he could have wrangled for you last week. In related news, Dan is 0-2 the last two weeks.
Winner:
Everyone involved in the Houston Texans organ-I-zation
Bill O’Brien… you were prohibited by NFL rules from even MEETING with Brock Osweiler before having to offer him a contract in the offseason. Another branch off of the Belichick coaching tree appears that it will crash to the ground and spontaneously burst into flames. He joins the long list of coaches like: Josh McDaniels, Romeo Crennel, Charlie Weis and Eric Mangini (‘The Mangenius’) of soon to be spectacular failures as head coaches.
D’Andre Hopkins: I’m so sorry that the Texans are going to waste your time and talent and career by having THIS schlub throwing the ball to you just like they wasted the great Andre Johnson’s career by having a mix of David Carr, Matt Schaub & TJ Yates throwing the ball to him.
The city of Houston: You should still have the Oilers. If you did, you wouldn’t be in this mess now.
Brock Osweiler:
The good news: You got paid $72,000,000 (with $37M guaranteed…reportedly… if you believe that NFL Contracts are worth the paper they’re written on) off of a 5-3 run with one of the best defenses in the history of the NFL and a comeback win at home v. New England after the Pats muffed a punt.
The bad news: You threw for the 2nd least amount of yards in NFL history for a QB with 40+ attempts in your dismal return to Denver (131 yards). You were so bad, that the internet did this to you:

This… THIS is the world we live in?
Dylan.gif
Soccer Haircut of the week:
Marouane Fellaini – Midfielder for the Belgian National team and Manchester United
7 Fellaini.jpg7a Fellaini.jpg
You may ask what he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:
Icestorm.gif
Dennis Green Memorial Patch
Good Luck to All!!!
Boss1.gif
The Commish

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Week 6 Wrap-Up, Week 7 Preview

Week 6 Wrap Up:


Chris
66.65
Doug
125.60
Mike
88.00
Kim
63.20
Dave
130.35
Marc
88.80
Jodie
110.95
Dan
79.40
Greg
90.85
Brian
92.95
Ed
99.15
Norm
121.00


League Standings


Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Dan
5-1
3-0
640.85
493.90
Chris
4
Doug
4-2
1-2
648.10
593.10
Jodie
7
Kim
3-3
1-2
579.45
575.50
Dave
8
Marc
2-4
1-2
611.90
674.40
Mike


Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Dave
4-2
2-1
631.60
583.65
Kim
6
Mike
3-3
2-1
602.85
608.65
Marc
11
Ed
2-4
2-1
541.25
613.00
Brian
12
Greg
0-6
0-3
579.05
715.55
Norm


Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Brian
6-0
3-0
624.95
512.60
Ed
5
Jodie
3-3
2-1
643.70
597.75
Doug
9
Chris
2-4
1-2
610.20
689.30
Dan
10
Norm
2-4
0-3
550.80
607.30
Greg


Thursday Night Football:


Bears @ Packers (8:25 pm)
Chicago2GB6.jpg


Sunday Schedule


Giants
@
Rams
Saints
@
Chiefs
Colts
@
Titans
Vikings
@
Eagles
Browns
@
Bengals
Washington
@
Lions
Raiders
@
Jaguars
Bills
@
Dolphins
Ravens
@
Jets
Buccaneers
@
49ers
Chargers
@
Falcons
Patriots
@
Steelers
Seahawks
@
Cardinals
Byes:
Dal, Car


Monday Night Football:


Texans @ Broncos (8:30 pm)
Texans1.jpgDenver1.jpg


Around the League:




Joe Thomas (LT, Cle) had a last minute update to the Browns’ injury list:

Happens to a lot of us, man… Maybe you can talk to Brian Urlacher about it.
Urlacher Hair.png


The Buffalo Bills are helmed by the Ryan Brothers (Rex & Rob). They are known for keeping things relatively light in meetings and the dressing room. The latest thing they do that’s become public? The coaches have walk-up songs just like hitters do in MLB when they approach the plate to hit. The Bills have songs play before each coach comes up and installs a play. Rob’s song? There’s a clue in the first sentence:



Pray for Browns fans:


This is what Lawrence Timmons (LB, Pit) thinks of that shirt… (and what he thinks of getting beat down by Miami… MIAMI!!!)


Jim Nantz appears to NOT be impressed with players protesting racial inequality and police brutality. Just to be clear, here is Nantz’s resume: Born in Charlotte, NC, grew up in New Orleans, LA & 2 different towns in New Jersey. Was part of a country club in high school. Went to the University of Houston and played on the golf team with Fred Couples & Blaine McCallister. Play by Play announcer for CBS golf. Anchored CBS’ ‘The Masters’ coverage since 1989. CBS #1 NFL PBP announcer since 2004. CBS Final Four PBP announcer since 1991. Frequent political contributor to George W. Bush, Lindsey Graham, max contribution to Jeb! 2016. Use some common sense and try to figure out what shaped his views…


Winner of the week: Dak Prescott… Dak has the Cowboys 5-1 going into the bye and is looking at Tony Romo, Jason Garrett and Jerry Jones like:


Dak.jpg


What’s Gronk up to?


He’s redefining what ‘The Patriot Way’ means after his 7 catch, 162 yard, 1TD performance.


He’s also taking exception to low hits to his knee/ankle area as well as Martellus Bennett from the Bengals ‘PacMan’ Jones and Vontaze Burfict. Woof – Woof.


He’s also doing a little shimmy shake disco move in the end zone after Legarrett Blount’s score.


Bozo of the week


Third Runner Up:
Referees in the Falcons-Seahawks game


No big deal guys, if you breathe on a WR downfield in the league, it’s either Illegal Contact, Holding or Pass Interference. How the hell did you miss THIS on a 4th down???


Bruh, that was so obvious, even Mark Clattenburg would have penalized that.
Mark-Clattenburg.jpg


Second Runner Up:
The Colts


You couldn’t beat a team that did this:
Texans.jpg


You’re wasting Andrew Luck’s career and deserve the owner you’ve got.



First Runner Up:
The Bengals


First the Cowboys whip you, now the Patriots played just about as poorly as they can (barring injury) and they put up 35 on you.
Bengals.jpg


Winner:
Matt Forte!!! Well, not MATT FORTE, but ‘matt forte’


This is what it’s like to be a Bears fan this year… You’re pudgy, white, probably past your prime, but you don’t know it. You still think ‘you’ve GOT IT!’ Let me show these Jags fans what it’s like to live in a REAL town. Oh, dear god, I’ve made a horrible mistake!




This… THIS is the world we live in?


Dylan.gif


Soccer Haircut of the week:


Salomon Kalou – Forward/Attacking Midfielder for the Ivory Coast’s national team and Hertha Berlin. Formerly played for Feyenoord, Chelsea and Lille.


25 Salomon Kalou.jpg


You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:
SlipNSlide.gif


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!


boss4.gif

The Commish

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Week 6 Wrap-Up, Week 7 Preview

Week 6 Wrap Up:


Chris
66.65
Doug
125.60
Mike
88.00
Kim
63.20
Dave
130.35
Marc
88.80
Jodie
110.95
Dan
79.40
Greg
90.85
Brian
92.95
Ed
99.15
Norm
121.00


League Standings


Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Dan
5-1
3-0
640.85
493.90
Chris
4
Doug
4-2
1-2
648.10
593.10
Jodie
7
Kim
3-3
1-2
579.45
575.50
Dave
8
Marc
2-4
1-2
611.90
674.40
Mike


Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Dave
4-2
2-1
631.60
583.65
Kim
6
Mike
3-3
2-1
602.85
608.65
Marc
11
Ed
2-4
2-1
541.25
613.00
Brian
12
Greg
0-6
0-3
579.05
715.55
Norm


Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Brian
6-0
3-0
624.95
512.60
Ed
5
Jodie
3-3
2-1
643.70
597.75
Doug
9
Chris
2-4
1-2
610.20
689.30
Dan
10
Norm
2-4
0-3
550.80
607.30
Greg


Thursday Night Football:


Bears @ Packers (8:25 pm)
Chicago2GB6.jpg


Sunday Schedule


Giants
@
Rams
Saints
@
Chiefs
Colts
@
Titans
Vikings
@
Eagles
Browns
@
Bengals
Washington
@
Lions
Raiders
@
Jaguars
Bills
@
Dolphins
Ravens
@
Jets
Buccaneers
@
49ers
Chargers
@
Falcons
Patriots
@
Steelers
Seahawks
@
Cardinals
Byes:
Dal, Car


Monday Night Football:


Texans @ Broncos (8:30 pm)
Texans1.jpgDenver1.jpg


Around the League:




Joe Thomas (LT, Cle) had a last minute update to the Browns’ injury list:

Happens to a lot of us, man… Maybe you can talk to Brian Urlacher about it.
Urlacher Hair.png


The Buffalo Bills are helmed by the Ryan Brothers (Rex & Rob). They are known for keeping things relatively light in meetings and the dressing room. The latest thing they do that’s become public? The coaches have walk-up songs just like hitters do in MLB when they approach the plate to hit. The Bills have songs play before each coach comes up and installs a play. Rob’s song? There’s a clue in the first sentence:



Pray for Browns fans:


This is what Lawrence Timmons (LB, Pit) thinks of that shirt… (and what he thinks of getting beat down by Miami… MIAMI!!!)


Jim Nantz appears to NOT be impressed with players protesting racial inequality and police brutality. Just to be clear, here is Nantz’s resume: Born in Charlotte, NC, grew up in New Orleans, LA & 2 different towns in New Jersey. Was part of a country club in high school. Went to the University of Houston and played on the golf team with Fred Couples & Blaine McCallister. Play by Play announcer for CBS golf. Anchored CBS’ ‘The Masters’ coverage since 1989. CBS #1 NFL PBP announcer since 2004. CBS Final Four PBP announcer since 1991. Frequent political contributor to George W. Bush, Lindsey Graham, max contribution to Jeb! 2016. Use some common sense and try to figure out what shaped his views…


Winner of the week: Dak Prescott… Dak has the Cowboys 5-1 going into the bye and is looking at Tony Romo, Jason Garrett and Jerry Jones like:


Dak.jpg


What’s Gronk up to?


He’s redefining what ‘The Patriot Way’ means after his 7 catch, 162 yard, 1TD performance.


He’s also taking exception to low hits to his knee/ankle area as well as Martellus Bennett from the Bengals ‘PacMan’ Jones and Vontaze Burfict. Woof – Woof.


He’s also doing a little shimmy shake disco move in the end zone after Legarrett Blount’s score.


Bozo of the week


Third Runner Up:
Referees in the Falcons-Seahawks game


No big deal guys, if you breathe on a WR downfield in the league, it’s either Illegal Contact, Holding or Pass Interference. How the hell did you miss THIS on a 4th down???


Bruh, that was so obvious, even Mark Clattenburg would have penalized that.
Mark-Clattenburg.jpg


Second Runner Up:
The Colts


You couldn’t beat a team that did this:
Texans.jpg


You’re wasting Andrew Luck’s career and deserve the owner you’ve got.



First Runner Up:
The Bengals


First the Cowboys whip you, now the Patriots played just about as poorly as they can (barring injury) and they put up 35 on you.
Bengals.jpg


Winner:
Matt Forte!!! Well, not MATT FORTE, but ‘matt forte’


This is what it’s like to be a Bears fan this year… You’re pudgy, white, probably past your prime, but you don’t know it. You still think ‘you’ve GOT IT!’ Let me show these Jags fans what it’s like to live in a REAL town. Oh, dear god, I’ve made a horrible mistake!




This… THIS is the world we live in?


Dylan.gif


Soccer Haircut of the week:


Salomon Kalou – Forward/Attacking Midfielder for the Ivory Coast’s national team and Hertha Berlin. Formerly played for Feyenoord, Chelsea and Lille.


25 Salomon Kalou.jpg


You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:
SlipNSlide.gif


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!


boss4.gif

The Commish

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via IFTTT

Week 5 recap, Week 6 preview

Week 5 Wrap Up:


Chris
77.35
Kim
122.55
Mike
102.65
Norm
116.15
Doug
125.20
Greg
95.50
Dave
78.10
Brian
115.15
Jodie
100.35
Marc
105.60
Dan
84.45
Ed
71.50


League Standings


Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Dan
5-0
3-0
561.45
382.95
Jodie
4
Doug
3-2
1-2
522.50
526.45
Chris
5
Kim
3-2
1-2
516.25
487.50
Mike
8
Marc
2-3
1-2
523.10
544.05
Dave


Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Dave
3-2
2-1
501.25
494.85
Marc
9
Mike
2-3
2-1
514.85
545.45
Kim
10
Ed
2-3
2-1
442.10
492.00
Norm
12
Greg
0-5
0-3
488.20
622.60
Brian


Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Brian
5-0
3-0
532.00
421.75
Greg
6
Chris
2-3
1-2
543.55
563.70
Doug
7
Jodie
2-3
2-1
532.75
518.35
Dan
11
Norm
1-4
0-3
429.80
508.15
Ed


Thursday Night Football:


Broncos @ Chargers (8:25 pm)


Denver5.jpgChargers4.png


Sunday Schedule


49ers
@
Bills
Eagles
@
Washington
Browns
@
Titans
Ravens
@
Giants
Panthers
@
Saints
Jaguars
@
Bears
Rams
@
Lions
Steelers
@
Dolphins
Bengals
@
Patriots
Chiefs
@
Raiders
Falcons
@
Seahawks
Cowboys
@
Packers
Colts
@
Texans
Byes:
Min, TB


Monday Night Football:


NY Jets @ Cardinals (8:30 pm)


Jets7.jpgArizona Cardinals 4.jpg


Around the League:




The NFL warned teams not to post tons of content to their team social media sites, THEN POSTED A BUNCH OF CONTENT TO ITS SOCIAL MEDIA SITES.


Odell Beckham Jr. made up with the kicking net. If he was on your team, you’d love him.


Pats fans were so ecstatic that our lord and savior, Tom Brady was back from suspension, some of them started acting like the Bills Mafia.


Speaking of the Pats, the Browns, who were the sacrificial lambs to the Pats, are now on their FIFTH QB. Cody Kessler got driven into the ground on his throwing shoulder, and got knocked out for the game. That means that Clipboard Jesus, Charlie Whitehurst came in the game, but not before the Browns tried out Terrelle Pryor at QB for a series. Is God trying to play some type of zero sum game in Cleveland? So if the Cavs & Indians are good, the Browns have to be EXTRA sucky?


Also, Andrew Hawkins of said Browns had the greatest TD celebration of all time.



Raiders fans are completely loving their team’s return to not being terrible. Too bad they’re going to have their squad move to Las Vegas soon. 66 person shot ski?


Vikings fans are really feeling themselves. This is a) gross and b) completely unnecessary. Must be nice being 5-0 heading into your bye week.


Jordan Todman… just stay on your feet and down the punt. You don’t need to dive and make a spectacle of yourself.


What’s Gronk up to?


He’s creating new words to describe Tom Brady. Is it a complete ‘bro’ description? Of course it is.


He is also unconcerned at your fantasy football angst. He’s worried about ‘real football, baby!’


Bozo of the week
Quick-Change.jpg


Second Runner Up:
Tyrod Taylor



First Runner Up:
Chris Damore


Julio Jones & AJ Green giveth and taketh away:
Last week, they combined for 59.30 points in helping Chris get to 158.65 points. This week, they combined for 7.90 points. Tough luck for you, pal.


Winner:
Drew Kaser


Who?
Drew Kaser, rookie punter for the San Diego Chargers.
It’s bad enough when you do this.
That’s right, a 17 yard punt, going into the 4th quarter, deep in your own territory. But then, you go and do this:


Botched hold on a possible game tying 36 yard FG, with 2 minutes left. If this was New England, we’d see someone else on the team next week, and Mr. Kaser with a pink slip. However, this is San Diego. The Chargers have lost 4th quarter leads in all 4 of their losses. When asked about the snap fiasco, Kaser said “We’ve got to go back to the film.’ Are you kidding, bro? You dropped it, end of story! Now stop doing this stuff! You’re making Philip Rivers, his wife Tiffany and their EIGHT children very sad.



This… THIS is the world we live in?


Dylan.gif


Soccer Haircut of the week:


Gyasi Zardes, Attacking Midfielder/Forward for the US National Team and the LA Galaxy.
15 Zardes.jpg


You may ask what the hell he’s doing with his head, but he’s got something for you:


DWI1.gif


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!

The Commish

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via IFTTT

Week 4 Wrap-Up, Week 5 Preview

Week 4 Wrap Up:


Chris
158.65
Marc
129.00
Mike
73.95
Brian
108.35
Kim
101.85
Jodie
84.95
Doug
128.70
Ed
75.10
Dave
92.30
Norm
71.20
Greg
73.25
Dan
121.65


League Standings


Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Dan
4-0
3-0
477.00
311.45
Ed
7
Doug
2-2
1-2
397.30
430.95
Greg
8
Kim
2-2
1-2
393.70
410.15
Chris
10
Marc
1-3
1-2
417.50
443.70
Jodie


Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Dave
3-1
2-1
423.15
379.70
Brian
6
Mike
2-2
2-1
412.20
429.30
Norm
9
Ed
2-2
2-1
370.60
407.55
Dan
11
Greg
0-4
0-3
392.70
497.40
Doug


Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Brian
4-0
3-0
416.85
343.65
Dave
4
Chris
2-2
1-2
466.20
441.15
Kim
5
Jodie
2-2
2-1
432.40
412.75
Marc
12
Norm
0-4
0-3
313.65
405.50
Mike


Thursday Night Football:


Cardinals @ 49ers (8:25 pm)
arizona cardinals3.png49ers2.jpg


Sunday Schedule


New England
@
Cleveland
NY Jets
@
Pittsburgh
Philadelphia
@
Detroit
Atlanta
@
Denver
Chicago
@
Indianapolis
Cincinnati
@
Dallas
Tennessee
@
Miami
Buffalo
@
Los Angeles
Washington
@
Baltimore
San Diego
@
Oakland
Houston
@
Minnesota
NY Giants
@
Green Bay
Byes:
KC, NO
Sea, Jax


Monday Night Football:
Buccaneers @ Panthers (8:30 pm)


Bucs5.jpgCarolina8.jpg


Around the League:




Philadelphia was off this week, but that doesn’t mean that you need to miss out on your weekly fill of: Carson Wentz…Ginger Jesus!! I’d say that the Philly faithful have bought in completely to their rookie QB.


Carson Wentz Ginger Jesus.jpg


What about the Browns? They could have kept the #2 pick and selected him. How are they doing?
Browns QBs.jpg


That looks sub-optimal… and they fired many of their scouts who liked Carson Wentz. THAT’S why you’re Cleveland. Not to worry, Cleveland ended up signing a Jesus of their own: Clipboard Jesus, Charlie Whitehurst. This picture will ingratiate him to Cleveland’s blue collar ethics, right?


Charlie Whitehurst boat.png


He’s got to be doing SOMETHING right… he’s dating Jewel, for godssake!


The Goddamned RAMS are 3-1 despite not being able to block for squat. Poor Todd Gurley can’t have the ball for a whole yard without seeing a defensive lineman all up in his grill.


What’s Gronk up to?


Ask a dumb question, you get a Gronk answer.
The Patriots also signed his brother, Glenn, to the practice squad.. This raises the question, if Glenn makes it to the main roster, will he be G. Gronkowski? Will Rob be R. Gronkowski? Does big brother just keep the name with no initial? Will they both just have Gronkowski on the back? Or will Rob finally fulfill his dream and change the name on the back to ‘BRO’?


Bozo of the week


Baskets_FX.png


First Runner Up:
Marc Menard


Marc, you had Matt Ryan throw for 503 yards, 4 TD and 1 Int and 47.55 points while playing AGAINST Julio Jones who had 300 Yards Rec, and 1 TD for 36.00 points. Looks like you came out ahead on that transaction… What? You what? Oh, you left Matt on the bench. Wow, sucks to be you. That’s only 24.55 points MORE that you could have had this week. Shake it off, buddy… it happens to everyone.


Winner:
Sarah Thomas/The NFL
NFL side judge who ruled a fumble against Duke Johnson of the Browns (yes, more Browns talk) and gave the ball to Washington. See if you can discern why that would be a problem here:
Browns fumble.gif


That’s right… Duke has the ball and raises it in the air while Sarah is still running towards the pile and looking a full 2 yards ahead of where the ball actually is. Well, this shouldn’t be a problem. We have replay for scenarios just like this AND they automatically review all turnovers. This will be JUST FINE.


Wait, the NFL doubled down on its incompetence and said a) the call was fine b) replay didn’t show anything that would dispute the call and c) the call was made before Johnson emerged with the ball.


So either I need to go to the optometrist, post haste, or the National Football League is throwing a statement at the public that they KNOW to be false with such bravado, that it can only be rivalled by Donald Trump.


We’ve seen how this works over and over again with these clowns, so I’m going with the latter.


Let’s check in with Browns fans and their collective psyche:
Browns Fans.png



This… THIS is the world we live in?


Dylan.gif


GOLF! – Ryder Cup Edition


It only happens once every 2 years, but when we’ve lost 5 of the last 6, I’m writing about it. The US beat Europe 17-11 and the crowds were raucous. We had an ‘Hulk Hogan let me hear you’ hand to ear by Rory McIlroy after he dropped a 35 foot bomb, followed immediately by Patrick Reed hitting his 20 foot putt and the Mutombo finger wag.
Mutombo.gif
Phil Mickelson (10 birdies) played against Sergio Garcia (9 birdies) both shot 63, and their match was halved.
Call It a Draw.gif
If a duel could have been better this year than Mickelson v. Stenson in the final round of the British Open, this was its rival.


The US wins, they had the trophy ceremony and everyone was told to kiss their wife/significant other. Well, there was one person who summed up what it’s like to go stag to a New Year’s Eve event.



Hey, Dustin Johnson, keep your eye out. Keep your eye out on your girl when this guy’s hanging around.


Paulina Tiger.png


Soccer Haircut of the week:


David Beckham (Retired Midfielder for England’s National team and played his club football for Manchester United, Real Madrid and LA Galaxy) Known for his insane free kicks. Alias: MISTER Posh Spice


10 Beckham.jpg


You may ask what the hell he’s doing (and I agree with you), but he’s got something for you:


Dance-Team.gif


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!
Boss6.gif

The Commish

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via IFTTT

9/27 – Week 3 Wrap up, Week 4 Preview

Week 3 Wrap Up:


Chris
85.65
Brian
94.40
Jodie
114.60
Norm
73.55
Kim
138.70
Doug
93.05
Dan
118.05
Marc
76.30
Dave
118.05
Greg
112.70
Mike
101.70
Ed
78.55


League Standings


Nuts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
1
Dan
3-0
3-0
355.35
238.20
Greg
8
Kim
1-2
1-2
292.05
325.20
Jodie
9
Marc
1-2
1-2
288.50
285.05
Chris
10
Doug
1-2
1-2
268.60
356.05
Ed


Bolts
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
3
Mike
2-1
2-1
338.25
320.95
Brian
5
Dave
2-1
2-1
330.85
308.50
Norm
6
Ed
2-1
2-1
295.50
278.85
Doug
11
Greg
0-3
0-3
319.45
375.75
Dan


Screws
Team
Rec
Div
PF
PA
Next
2
Brian
3-0
3-0
308.50
269.70
Mike
4
Jodie
2-1
2-1
347.45
310.90
Kim
7
Chris
1-2
1-2
307.55
312.15
Marc
12
Norm
0-3
0-3
242.45
313.20
Dave


Thursday Night Football:
Dolphins (0-2) @ Bengals (1-1) (8:25 pm)
Miami2.jpgCincy2.jpg



Sunday Schedule


Indianapolis
@
Jacksonville
Detroit