Training camp time!!!

We remember those who have passed:

The memorable Dennis Green has passed. He was 67 years old. Because of this, all teams in our league will wear this commemorative patch all season. 


One last time we pay our respects:




Rest well, coach!

Bozo of the week 


There’s a good amount to choose from. Could it be the whole DNC for all of their cloak and dagger emailing and obvious sabotaging of Bernie Sanders and pushing of Hillary Clinton? This has left them scrambling and blaming Russia for the hack. That claim has been denied by Julian Assange, owner of WikiLeaks, where the emails were posted.

Is it Debbie Wasserman Shultz for presiding over this whole mess, then resigning ONE day before the DNC in Philadelphia begins?

Is it Facebook for admitting to blocking Wikileaks links to the DNC email scandal? This, after Facebook already had an issue with former staffers saying that conservative leaning political news was suppressed on their ‘trending news’ window.

Perhaps it’s Chris Sale, pitcher for the White Sox, for destroying throwback uniforms that he didn’t want to wear. Wait, what? It’s a uniform. What could have possibly been so awful about the 1976 uniforms that they were scheduled to wear that he would take a KNIFE to his and all of his teammates’ uniforms? Ask yourself, does this look THAT bad?

I kind of like them. The collar is funky, but I can dig that.

These are the uniforms they wore. I remember watching Tom Seaver (oh, god, I’m getting old) pitch in these to Carlton Fisk (good lord, get me a walker).

Nope…
The Bozo of the week goes to: The Rio Olympic organizers!!!
I know you’ve probably heard all about how terrible it’s going to be down there. A list of all of the things going wrong is enumerated HERE. BUT, just this week, the Australian athletes refused to be housed in the Olympic village because of plumbing and fire concerns!! Nothing like water flowing down the walls after flushing the toilet or seeing exposed wiring. 19 of the 31 athlete apartment complexes haven’t passed safety inspection yet!  I’m sure that the mayor of Rio was completely embarrassed by such poor living conditions for athletes that will be competing in just under 2 weeks, right?

Maybe not…

Despite Russia having a state-sponsored doping plan for Sochi, the IOC somehow decided NOT to ban all Russian athletes from the Olympics. They passed the buck on to the sport federations to make the determination on how they want to handle each Russian athlete and their eligibility. Way to take a stand against doping!

I know what images NBC is going to feed you for 3 weeks: tons of women dressed in Carnival costumes, but just know that THIS is also what Rio is. Have a nice trip! Good job Rio and Rio organizers, you had 6 years and this is the best you could do! You are the bozos of the week!!!

This… THIS is the world we live in?

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In the College Game:

Faith Ekakitie, DL for Iowa, was mistaken for a bank robber and had 4 guns pulled on him by the police. The incident happened 10 minutes prior to the case of mistaken identity. Well, was Faith carrying around big bags of money with a cartoon $ on them? No. He was playing Pokemon Go on his phone. Good job and crack detective work by Iowa City PD. A very level-headed article describes what happened, and maybe, perhaps, why you should turn down the headphones from 11 to something where you can still hear what’s going on around you.




Soccer Haircut of the week: 
Lionel Messi who is going with the Blonde Ambition/Justin Bieber look

The Summer of Gronk:

Maybe he’s branching out into the finer arts, like the Miami Ballet?



Need a new ice cream vendor? Gronk’s got you covered. Yes, that was an ice pop he spiked.
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Would you like to take part in his Zumba class? Yes, that was a bag of beef jerky he spiked!



Maybe you’ll see him at your next Paul McCartney concert!



or perhaps you’ll see him throwing out the first pitch to David Ortiz, his good Dunkin Donuts buddy at a Red Sox game:



The man sure knows how to enjoy himself, while STILL not thinking about his long-term future one single, solitary bit!

Around the League:

Suspensions/Injuries: 
(# = number of games, SA = Substance Abuse, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)

 7/26
Le’Veon Bell (RB, Pit) – suspended for 4 games for MISSING a drug test. Smart…

Josh Gordon will be eligible to return from suspension for a week 5 matchup v. New England… the same day Tom Brady comes back.

 7/15
Tom Brady (QB, NE)  – 4, BS
Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) 16, SA                    Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) 4, SA  
Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) 4, SA                      Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) 3, PED

Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) 10, PED                           Tim Wright (TE, Det) 16, torn ACL.

Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely, SA

Other News:
 7/26
Ezekiel Elliott (RB, Dal)Was implicated in a domestic violence incident. His girlfriend claims that he attacked her, Ezekiel and other witnesses claim that he didn’t. Stay tuned to see if anything comes of this.

JJ Watt had back surgery and is a question as to whether or not he will be available when the season begins.

Darnell Dockett after 10 years in the NFL is going to retire. He is quite the character and I would read up on him if I were you. (Trying to steal AJ McCarron’s girl and his obsession with exotic pets)

Greg Jennings (WR, GB/Min/Mia) – Announced his retirement 7/25.

Tom Jackson – Will not be back at ESPN. Reports are that he is leaving prior to the season and will not be on ESPN Countdown & Primetime in this, Chris Berman’s last year at ESPN. The Worldwide Leader put claimed that Berman would retire, but that is something his agent denies vociferously. If you’ve been following ESPN at all, and how Bill Simmons, Jason Whitlock, Colin Cowherd, Mike Tirico, Skip Bayless and Keith Olbermann left, smear campaigns and pre-emptive press releases and leaks are the modus operandi for them. Watch your back, Bob Ley.

The Great Roster Freeze:
If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.
Draft Order

The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.
Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)      Jodie
2)      Marc
3)      Doug
4)      Brian
5)      Kim
6)      Greg
7)     Chris
8)      Ed

9)      Norm
10)  Dave
11)   Mike
12)  Dan

Good Luck to All!!!

The Commish

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futbol, Futbol, FUTBOL!!!

Bozo of the week – Copa America:

Winner: The Argentinian FA
You may remember a little organization called FIFA. They are the governing body that reigns over all other country’s governing football (soccer) bodies. Think of it like each US state has their own government, but they then send separate, elected representatives to the Federal Government.
As you may have heard, they’ve had a spot of bother recently when it comes to corruption charges. There was a huge raid on their offices, 14 member indictments in the first round of indictments. After that happened, they held elections for a new president (scheduled). Sepp Blatter (incumbent) won re-election DESPITE everything swirling around them at the time and put on a show during the re-election speech in something you have to see to believe… The stones on THIS guy…

Then the head of FIFA and the president of UEFA (Europe) were arrested. All of this scandal led to one of the greatest pieces of video you’ll ever see:

Cash Rules Everything Around Me, C.R.E.A.M. Get the money, dolla dolla bills, y’all!
By all accounts, it is one of THE most corrupt organizations this planet has ever seen…
AND THEY looked at the Argentinian FA and said it was too corrupt and they had to intercede to save it!
Argentina is not just some fly-by-night country when it comes to Futbol… They are #1 in the World rankings

They have the best player in the world: Lionel Messi (46g 26a in 59 games – FC Barcelona)… who can do things like this.. and this… and this… and THIS.
It’s not just him, though, they have:
Gonzalo Higuain (42g in 42 – Napoli),
Sergio Aguero (35 in 54 – Man City) coming off of the bleeping bench,
Angel DiMaria (18g 22a in 59 – PSG),
Javier Mascherano-Barca,
Nicolas Otamendi-Man City,
Ezequiel Lavezzi-PSG,
Ramiro Funes Mori-Liverpool,
Pablo Zabaleta-Man City,
Marcos Rojo-Man United,
Ever Banega-Sevilla,
Erik Lamela-Tottenham Hotspur, & oh, yeah,
Paulo Dybala (21 g in 45 for Juventus)
Things are so screwed up in the Argentinian FA that Messi even bitched about it. Half of the time I think Messi’s mute! He doesn’t say anything. What do you have to do to drive HIM nuts?
This is an organization that can’t even elect a president properly. If you don’t want to read the article below, that’s fine. You’re missing out on more great stuff. There were 75 members that voted. They counted up the votes. There were 38 for the Challenger and 38 for the Incumbent. Wait, what?!? THAT, ladies and gentlemen adds up to 76. Just look at the exasperation when these jamokes realize what happened:

Meanwhile…
Euro 2016 was so screwed up because they tried to fit more teams than 16 in the tournament that the round-robin only got rid of 8 of the 24 teams. This means that 4 or 6 THIRD place group teams made the knockout stage. The knockout bracket got totally screwed up with: England, Italy, Germany, France, Spain, Slovakia, Ireland and Iceland on one side of the bracket while the other side had 2-3 good teams in Belgium, Wales and Portugal. Northern Ireland didn’t beat Wales despite Will Grigg being on fire and your defense being terrified:

So, we now have to live in a world where Cristiano Ronaldo has won a major international competition before Lionel Messi because Ronaldo’s teammates came through after he got injured 8 minutes into the final, while Messi’s teammates did their impression of Mama Cass eating a ham sammich in their last 3 finals.

Portugal played 7 matches. Their record in regulation: 1-0-6. 0-0-3 in group. Extra time win v. Croatia, PK shootout win v Poland, 2-0 over Wales in regular time. Extra time win over France.

When he wasn’t chucking a reporter’s microphone into a lovely French lake, he managed to act like a lunatic during the quarterfinal PK shootout with Poland and then, despite getting hurt in the final, continuing to be the main story through his ‘leadership.‘ Just when you thought this couldn’t get ANY nuttier, his crazy-ass sister (who wanted people that vandalized her brother’s bronze statue exiled to Syria) compared him and his suffering to… ‘CHRIST ON THE CROSS!!!’

Meanwhile, Argentina goes 5-0-1 in regulation in the whole tournament, outscores their opponents 18-2, but loses in a penalty shootout to defending Copa champions Chile.

This… THIS is the world we have to live in now?

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In the College Game:

Baylor had a huge sexual assault scandal that cost Art Briles his job and SHOULD have cost Ken Starr and multiple other administrators THEIR jobs. It didn’t, though, because apparently they decided not to produce an investigative report on the findings specifically to protect the school from lawsuits… You read that right.

Mark Richt moves from HC of Georgia to HC of Miami (FL)
Kirby Smart goes from DC of Alabama to HC of Georgia

Deshaun Watson & Christian McCaffrey: Heisman contenders
Alabama… still pretty good. Michigan… on the rise.

Opening weekend looks insane!
9/2  Kansas State @ (11) Stanford
9/3 (3) Oklahoma @ (12) Houston
(6) LSU @ Wisconsin – In Lambeau Field!!!
(24) UCLA @ Texas A&M
(20) North Carolina @ (22) Georgia – Georgia Dome
(2) Alabama v (19) Southern California – AT&T stadium, Dallas
(1) Clemson @ Auburn
9/4 (9) Notre Dame @ Texas
9/5 (4) Florida State v (14) Ole Miss – Citrus Bowl, Orlando

The Summer of Gronk:

Gronk has been in full Gronk plumage this summer:
From doing the ‘Running Man Challenge’ with his brothers, to going on Jimmy Kimmel to explain if he was or wasn’t naked during his GQ photo shoot, to the 4th of July.

What does Gronk do for the 4th or July?

He DOESN’T do this, now does he… Swaggy P?


He does a Taco Party in Cali, followed by sharing a TBT (Throwback Thursday) picture of him in middle school, he has Waka Flocka Flame comparing himself to Gronk, and acts as a therapist for Margot Robbie during the ESPYs. After that, he takes his girlfriend, Camille Kostek, to the Nickelodeon Kids’ choice awards AND having a dance-off with Ciara.

Ciara, if you didn’t know is the freshly-minted Mrs. Russell Wilson. Russell famously wouldn’t have sex with Ciara before they were married, then went on social media and bragged (nsfw words in the link) about it. Classy.

Around the League:

Suspensions:
  Tom Brady (QB, NE) is suspended for the first 4 games of the year and the Patriots were fined $1M and lost a 1st and 4th round pick for something that happened 500+ days ago even the NFL rules P 31, 8.13.A.4 states that the offending club be fined not in excess of $500.000.

  Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) suspended 1 year for violating league substance abuse policy.

  Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) suspended 4 games for violating league substance abuse policy.
  
  Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) suspended 4 games for violating league substance abuse policy.

  Rolando McClain (ILB, Dal) suspended 10 games for second violation of league substance abuse policy.
  Sheldon Richardson (DE, NYJ) suspended 1 game for violating league personal conduct policy.

  Vontaze Burfict (ILB, Cin) suspended 3 games for repeatedly violating league policy on player-safety rules.

  Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) suspended 3 games for violating league PED Policy.

  Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) suspended 10 games for violating league PED policy.

  Tim Wright (TE, Det) out for season with torn ACL.
  Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
  Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely for violating substance abuse policy.
Other News:
JJ Watt is apparently dating Lindsey Vonn, who nurses JJ back to health from his many injuries by lots of ‘Massages in the groin area.’
Odell Beckham Jr. hung out with Bayern Munich football club for a while, got his own jersey and trained with them for a while… and apparently, he’s either a fan of Metallica or just likes their old-school shirt.
Roger Goodell took time out of his busy schedule of hiding under his desk to call Mark Wahlberg (executive producer) and complain about ‘Ballers’ on HBO.

The Great Roster Freeze:
If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.
Draft Order

The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.
Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)      Jodie
2)      Marc
3)      Doug
4)      Brian
5)      Kim
6)      Greg
7)     Chris
8)      Ed

9)      Norm
10)  Dave
11)   Mike
12)  Dan

Good Luck to All!!!
The Commish