8/31 – KEEPERS DUE!!!

Bozo of the week


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First Runner Up:


Merril Hogefor criticizing Ezekiel Elliott for visiting a marijuana dispensary in a state where it’s legal prior to the Cowboys’ preseason game at Seattle. Way to paint with a broad brush, Merril. Everyone just calm down. There were, reportedly, no purchases made. He’s 21 years old and was probably curious. He went out that night and trucked just about everything in sight, as you will see below.


Winner:


Anyone and everyone involved with the Raiders and their proposed move to Las Vegas.
Sheldon Adelson, casino magnate who is worth $29.2 Billion per Forbes (who purchased the Las Vegas Review-Journal and has already flexed his editorial muscle where certain articles get written and others get squashed) is set to be the largest PRIVATE contributor to the Raiders stadium project. Why just the largest private contributor? Because the stadium developer, see Adelson, wants the public to kick in a ton of money. A poll taken showed that Vegas residents were 55% opposed and only 35% in favor of giving $500 million for development, so what did Sheldon do about that? He had his reps tell the city that they instead wanted $750 million and that was non-negotiable. If you ever wonder exactly what it takes to be worth $29.2 billion dollars, brass balls like Sheldon has is what it takes. Don’t worry about anything else but yourself and run over whoever you need to.

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This… THIS is the world we live in?


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In the College Game:


2 Western Michigan University football players robbed someone… well, they’re being charged with more than just robbery. It happened in a dorm room… with weapons. Armed robbery, home invasion and larceny are the charges. I think Officer Mount said it best when the Good Ol’ Boys screwed up their police chase of Jake and Elwood…

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FSU’s S&D coach caught a DUI when he was found asleep at the wheel of his car. Stop drinking and driving, everyone!


Speaking of FSU and the fine people who attend their institution, a sophomore who was home in the Miami area had lunch with his family at a BBQ place and was walking home, when he decided to attack and kill a couple in their home, then was found eating one of his victim’s faces. He was arrested and told the police to ‘test him for all the drugs… you won’t find any.’ Authorities are presuming that a drug called ‘flakka’ is involved. If you’ve seen any YouTube videos of people who are high on that drug, you can see why they are presuming that.


The University of Miami booted its two best defensive players off of the team for violating NCAA rules.


Texas Tech coaches pretend to be cute girls so they can monitor their players on social media. Although, Kliff is dreamy enough on his own to be MY friend. 🙂


High School EXTRA!!


A high school running back got a LITTLE too excited after getting a first down that sealed his team’s victory.

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Soccer Haircut of the week:


Attacking Midfielder for Inter Milan (Milan, Italy) and Croatia’s National team: Ivan Perišić.
Showing great national pride in the Euro 2016 round of 16 v Portugal.


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You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:


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The Summer of Gronk


Around the League:


Suspensions/Injuries:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)



All injuries will be listed in the link above… I’m not putting anything else on here unless it’s major… Like Tom Brady slicing his thumb with a pair of scissors while trying to remove something off of his cleat.


Well, Tony Romo (QB, Dal) had his back broken by Seattle. It looked a lot like when Batman got his back broken in ‘The Dark Knight Rises.’ Here is the cart coming out to help him as quickly as possible:

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Benjamin Watson (TE, Balt) exploded his achilles tendon on the first play from scrimmage. John Harbaugh took the opportunity to complain against the preseason.


Branden Oliver (RB, SD) had his achilles pop as well.


Connor Shaw (QB, Chi) had what is being described as a ‘gruesome’ lower leg/ankle break


Other News:


The Detroit at Baltimore game had something you don’t see every day. Bat intercourse. In the endzone. Because if you want to score, they were in the right place. All we needed was some Barry White and Teddy Pendergrass playing over the stadium speaker system.


Eddie Lacy is considering cutting his locks after being tackled by them.



Marshawn Lynch may be retired, but he’s still Beast Mode U B****!


Peyton Manning is easing into retirement by participating in the roast of Rob Lowe. Why? Because he’s Peyton Manning. (And he knows Rob from the days where he was in Indianapolis, where Rob tweeted that Peyton would retire in 2012.)


Colin Kaepernick has not stood for the National Anthem at any of the 3 preseason games this year, but it took until this weekend for anyone to notice. Once they did, journalists and fans reacted with the kindness and understanding that the internet is known for. In the face of this, most athletes apologize if they offended anyone. Colin? He’s doubling down, baby! He’s not walking back squat! He’s as disgruntled at the presidential race as anyone. This should NOT be a surprise to anyone. Just look at the man’s twitter feed for god’s sake!


KEEPERS DUE:


Your 2 keepers are due by: 8/31 !!!


The Great Roster Freeze:


If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.


Draft Order


The season begins Thursday 9/8 (just 2 weeks), the DRAFT IS ON Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield at 5:45p-6:00p start time… or when Norm gets there.


Your TWO keepers are due on 8/31. Cross your fingers for no injuries or substance abuse suspensions or domestic violence suspensions or football inflation related suspensions.
If one of your two keepers gets injured in the week between the keeper deadline and the draft, you CAN change your keeper, but you MUST let me know ASAP, so I can inform the rest of the league so they can adjust their draft preparations accordingly.


Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)   Jodie
2)   Marc
3)   Doug
4)   Brian
5)   Kim
6)   Greg
7)   Chris
8)   Ed
9)   Norm
10) Dave
11) Mike
12) Dan


Dennis Green Memorial Patch


Good Luck to All!!!


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The Commish

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