Bozo of the week
First Runner Up:
The Rio Olympics
Crazy stuff just keeps happening.
The water in the pools keeps turning green and there are more and more explanations that are wrong each time by the organizers.
The CBC confused Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps during the 200M IM and the announcers thought that Lochte won. (To be fair, they were in the lanes right next to each other)
Ryan Lochte may or may not have been held up at gunpoint after his final swim.
Another CBC announcer said something into a hot mic that he wishes he didn’t during the swimming competition.
An Egyptian Judo competitor lost to, then refused to shake the hand of an Israeli Judoka.
A kayaker capsized when he hit: a sofa.
You have one… ONE game that is played in Canton, OH all year. You have a Hall of Fame class that includes:
Brett Favre (he of the will he or won’t he retirement tour and Jets’ penis picture sexting controversy with FSU cowgirl and Jets reporter Jenn Sterger). He also wasn’t as good in the playoffs as you may think he was. TONS of season ending interceptions. Ridiculous interceptions…
Marvin Harrison (who reportedly unloaded two guns into a guy’s car in broad daylight in Philadelphia… the guy survived then but was later murdered when outside of a Harrison establishment and the security tape has minutes missing on it [during the murder])
Eddie DeBartolo Jr. (who flagrantly skirted the salary cap rules to keep the 49ers contending for much longer than they would have in the 80s & early 90s)
Tony Dungy: Coach TB & Ind.
Kevin Greene: OLB Rams, Steelers, Panthers – 160 career sacks
Orlando Pace: OLT 12 years all with Rams
Dick Stanfel: OL – Det & Wash, 1950’s all decade team
and the late Kenny Stabler. Legendary QB for the Oakland Raiders and the living embodiment of what it meant to live like a Raider. The stories about him are fantastic.
Speaking of the NFL and the content that they put out on AND off of the field, here is a montage of things that were ACTUALLY said to reporters last year by people employed by teams. You can just imagine the reporters stabbing themselves in the neck with their pen and waiting for the sweet, sweet release of death, rather than having to listen to one more second of this drivel.
This… THIS is the world we live in?
In the College Game:
The Air Force Academy unveiled a sweet new helmet that they’ll wear for one game this year.
Lots of teams have sweet new threads.
Soccer Haircut of the week:
A triple shot of Manchester United/France midfielder Paul Pogba. I know he was just on here 2 weeks ago, but when you become the world’s most expensive transfer, moving from Juventus (Turin, Italy) to Manchester United (Manchester, England) at € 105 Million/ £ 89 Million, you get #Respect.
The irony here is that Pogba, 23, was previously AT Manchester United and was let go for FREE just 4 years ago. How much does THAT have to sting? Here were your options:
You could have kept him, played him and saved lots of cash.
You could have kept him and ‘sold’ him and received lots of cash.
Let him go, NOT buy him back, and spend that money on 3-4 other world class players… OR
You could do what you did… let him go for free, then spend $116.5 MILLION US Dollars to get him back to play for you.
You may ask what the hell he’s doing, but he’s got something for you:
The Summer of Gronk
Gronk came into camp at his playing weight of 265 and is trying something different this year: Instead of coming in overweight and losing, he’s coming in at weight and eating more to keep weight on. To no one’s surprise, he’s a steak and potatoes man
Also, to no one’s surprise, he loved Ben Affleck’s rant on Any Given Wednesday about Ballghazi… or as everyone else calls it: Deflategate.
He is one of 4 players to get a full ‘99’ score on the ‘Madden 17’ video game. The others were Von Miller, Luke Keuchly, and JJ Watt… he of the ‘minimalist cabin’
Around the League:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)
Jared Goff (QB, LA) Sore shoulder, should be OK
Carson Wentz (QB, Phi) Hairline fracture of ribs, out 4+ weeks
Malcolm Mitchell (WR, NE) dislocated elbow, out 4 weeks
Bennie Fowler (WR, Den) fractured elbow, out 4 weeks
IK Enemkpali (DL, Buf) Torn ACL, out for season
Reggie Ragland (LB, Buf) Torn ACL, out for season.
Sammy Watkins (WR, Buf) recovering from May broken foot.
Julian Edelman (WR, NE) Left practice with an apparent injury to his surgically repaired left foot.
Rob Ninkovich (LB/DE, NE) Left practice and training staffs were looking at his triceps.
Jordan Matthews (WR, Phi) has a left knee bone bruise.
Zach Ertz (TE, Phi) Was evaluated for a concussion and cleared by team doctors.
Hroniss Grasu (C, Chi) The starting center has a torn ACL in his right knee and is out for year.
Lance Moore (WR, FA) Announced his retirement after a 10 year career.
Eric Ebron (TE, Det) Was carted off of the field with what is being described as an Achilles injury.
Eric Rogers (WR, SF) Torn ACL, out for season.
Jay Ajayi (RB, Mia) Day to Day, knee bruise.
DeVante Parker (WR, Mia) missed 3 practices with a Hamstring strain.
Chris Hogan (WR, NE) Minor shoulder injury, practicing with non-contact jersey.
Ezekiel Elliott (RB, Dal) Hamstring injury, day to day.
Kellen Moore, backup to Fat Tony Romo, broke his right ankle in practice when it got rolled on at the line of scrimmage. Broken bones are normally a 4-6 week proposition, but I’m thinking closer to 6-8
Le’Veon Bell (RB, Pit) – 4, SAP
Josh Gordon (WR, Cle) – 4, SAP
Tom Brady (QB, NE) – 4, BS
Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) 16, SAP Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) 4, SAP
Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) 4, SAP Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) 3, PED
Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) 10, PED Tim Wright (TE, Det) 16, torn ACL.
Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely, SA
Do you know who’s fired up for Julio Jones this year? Nature Boy Ric Flair, THAT’S WOOOOOOOOOOO
I would suggest reading up on what has happened in the off season by looking at Deadspin’s excellent: Why Your Team Sucks. It is a series of articles that is what it sounds like.
The Great Roster Freeze:
If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.
The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.
Well, lookie here:
This does not mean that the time can’t be moved, it just means that we have our traditional date of the night before the beginning of the season as our draft night confirmed. If anyone can’t make it, I will try to move it to accommodate everyone.
If this date holds, your TWO keepers are due on 8/31. Cross your fingers for no injuries or substance abuse suspensions or domestic violence suspensions or football inflation related suspensions.
Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
Dennis Green Memorial Patch
Good Luck to All!!!