One Month LEFT!!

Bozo of the week



First Runner Up:



Florida
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We haven’t checked in with out most insane state in a while. Let’s see what they’re up to:
These are ALL headlines:





















And just when you thought it couldn’t get much worse, THIS happens:



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Who attacks a flamingo at an amusement park? I mean, HONESTLY?!?



Winner:
You should know by now: The RIO OLYMPIC Organizers!!!



I’ve done some extensive clowning on the Rio Olympic organizers in the previous couple of weeks, but there is ALWAYS more and more news coming out of this traveshamockery:



  1. They have two gates to allow people into or out of the Olympic stadium. This seems odd for a couple of reasons: Fire codes? How can you funnel the capacity of the stadium (with security checks) through only 2 gates? How many renovations have been done to that stadium that once held the 1950 world cup final with an official attendance of 199,854 with estimated real attendance of 210,000 where now, Olympic organizers say 78,838,000, the BBC estimated 78000+ at the opening ceremony. Well, for the first event of the games (US WNT soccer game, they LOST THE KEYS to one of the gates and had to use BOLT CUTTERS to open that gate.
  2. Much the same way that there was unrest before the World Cup in 2014 by Rio residents, they have been protesting the Olympic torch relay and actually managed to extinguish the torch at one point.
  3. A “Russian diplomat” who was at a torch relay one night had an attempted robbery/carjacking happen to him. What would you do in that case? Well, you’d do exactly what he did: Used jiu-jitsu to get the gun away from his assailant and then shoot him dead. “Russian diplomat” is in quotations because that is how it was first reported. It was later found out that this person was IMPERSONATING a Russian diplomat which opens up a whole lot more questions.
  4. They’ve got 7 more days to ‘clean up’ the bays that are full of sewage before the open water swimming races happen. Yeah, good luck with that.
  5. Here is an article describing, like FIFA, just how much of a Ponzi scheme the whole “Olympic movement” is and how it is carefully constructed to siphon money away from the athletes in the competition and give it directly to executives who don’t deserve it in the least. Here is an infographic showing just how the money gets distributed. It may not be sexy, but like Deep Throat told Woodward and Bernstein: Follow the Money
  6. These people are the same people that used forced evictions and segregation of many families from their residences (when they didn’t want to take the buy-out) so that Olympic stadiums & villages could be built.
  7. Don’t think that just because we’re the land of the free and home of the brave that we’re not part of this too. An Indianapolis Star investigation found that US Gymnastics had a ‘Catholic church-like’ scandal with sexual abuse allegations against gymnasts by ‘coaches.’ Many allegations were dismissed as heresay by US Gymnastics unless the complaint was directly from a gymnast or a parent.
  8. A suspicious package was detonated by Brazilian police/military near the finish line of the road race in the Copacabana area on Saturday. Gotta keep it secure, guys.
  9. Anything that could cut into the stranglehold that the IOC likes to keep on all of their rights/events/money THAT is the thing the IOC gets vigilant about… (not the conditions the athletes are competing in or living in). Because of that, the IOC has disallowed the use of any of its material for GIFs or Vines. That’s right. No more McKayla Maroney moments.
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Or Michael Phelps moments:
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Or when that fifth ring didn’t open in Sochi’s opening ceremony
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Or cool Usain Bolt stuff:
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   10)   Do you know who else got smacked at by the IOC? It’s difficult to understand/believe. Can you say ‘tonedeaf’ boys and girls?
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 11)    And IF you’re going to do all of that crap, the first rule after that should be to keep the people reporting at your event happy so that they may decide to not be quite as harsh on your event that they could be. Do you think they did that? NOPE. Let me know what you think of your next hotel that gives you a breakfast consisting of water, coffee and tea bags.
12)    Remember, they also have something called ‘Rule 40’ which prohibits athletes from marketing themselves during the Olympic games.



If you take one thing from all of this, remember that no matter who you are, what you do, or where you are from, do NOT mess with their money. The IOC will get governments to throw you out of your house where you’ve lived for generations, subject you to substandard living conditions, make you compete in a sess pool and squeeze any joy out of you if it will make them one single penny more. They don’t have time for your ‘human rights’ if it costs them ANY money at all. Give thanks to the athletes who put up with all of this stuff, but seriously, to the administrators: Screw you guys!






This… THIS is the world we live in?



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In the College Game:



The Florida Gators had 2 players suspended for violating the school’s code of conduct. By that, they mean: were accused of sexual assault by a fellow student. There were no reports to the Gainesville police or University of Florida police. This is a Title IX hearing. Which is strange… What is also strange is that the University hired a lawyer who is also a Florida booster to adjudicate the matter. The accuser is boycotting the hearing, in protest that there’s no way she would get a fair shake.


Soccer Haircut of the week:



Ricardo Quaresma : Winger for Beşiktaş (Istanbul, Turkey) and the Euro 2016 winning Portugal national team.





And for all of you who wonder what the hell he’s doing, he’s got something for you:



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The Summer of Gronk



How do you think that Rob is going to react to practicing in the rain? Exactly how you think he would.
He’s decided to share his views on breakfast.
He won’t be the emergency QB after throwing an interception during a team scrimmage.



Around the League:



Suspensions/Injuries:
(# = number of games, SAP = Substance Abuse Policy, PED = PED Policy, BS = BullShit)



8/6
Eric Ebron (TE, Det) Was carted off of the field with what is being described as an Achilles injury.
Eric Rogers (WR, SF) Torn ACL, out for season
Jay Ajayi (RB, Mia) Day to Day, knee bruise
DeVante Parker (WR, Mia) missed 3 practices with a Hamstring strain
Chris Hogan (WR, NE) Minor shoulder injury, practicing with non-contact jersey
Ezekiel Elliott (RB, Dal) Hamstring injury, day to day



8/2
Kellen Moore, backup to Fat Tony Romo, broke his right ankle in practice when it got rolled on at the line of scrimmage. Broken bones are normally a 4-6 week proposition, but I’m thinking closer to 6-8



7/26
Le’Veon Bell (RB, Pit) – 4, SAP
Josh Gordon (WR, Cle) – 4, SAP



7/15
Tom Brady (QB, NE)  – 4, BS
Martavis Bryant(WR, Pit) 16, SAP                    Johnny Manziel (QB, FA) 4, SAP  
Karlos Williams (RB, Buf) 4, SAP                      Marcel Reece (RB, Oak) 3, PED
Nick Boyle (TE, Bal) 10, PED                           Tim Wright (TE, Det) 16, torn ACL.
Stedman Bailey (WR/KR, LA) reserve/non-football injury list – shot in head
Silas Redd Jr. (RB, Wash) suspended indefinitely, SA



Other News:



8/3
The Bennett brothers, Michael & Martellus, did an interview with ESPN and have quite the personalities and world-views on them. I wish more players would eschew the personality whitewashing that the NFL tries to put them through and speak their minds… and yes, I understand that some of those thoughts I wouldn’t agree with and would be ugly, and racist and homophobic and so what?



Speaking of which: One player thought that “he was going to call the White House and we were all going to lose our jobs” and that “the police were responsible for teaching al-Qaida how to fly planes.” This is a running back whose rights are owned by team in our league… Jodie…



Russell Wilson has a new poster (wait, posters are still a thing?) that was put out recently. Looks like he’s finally busting out of his shell after getting married to and finally having sex with Ciara.
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That looks … interesting. I’m sure Twitter took it easy on him, right? Oh, dear.



Your whip is better than RG III’s whip… I know it sounds weird, but believe me…
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Well, that didn’t take long. Before the first week of training camp finished up, the Baltimore Ravens cut Trent Richardson. This is Trent’s FOURTH team since being drafted #3 overall in 2012. He’s been with the Browns, Colts, Raiders and Ravens.



8/1
Jodie, this one’s for you. The Rams haven’t heard from ‘Tre Mason in MONTHS. He didn’t report to training camp, they don’t know where he is or where to find him. He’s also had FIVE incidents with police in the last 4 months. That’s tough to be a keeper with that resume.


The Great Roster Freeze:



If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.



Draft Order



The season begins Thursday 9/8 (less than 2 months), so I will be looking to schedule something on Wed 9/7 at Hooters in West Springfield. I will let all of you know when there is something solid for draft night.



7/28



Well, lookie here:



This does not mean that the time can’t be moved, it just means that we have our traditional date of the night before the beginning of the season as our draft night confirmed. If anyone can’t make it, I will try to move it to accommodate everyone.



If this date holds, your TWO keepers are due on 8/31. Cross your fingers for no injuries or substance abuse suspensions or domestic violence suspensions or football inflation related suspensions.



Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
1)   Jodie
2)   Marc
3)   Doug
4)   Brian
5)   Kim
6)   Greg
7)   Chris
8)   Ed
9)   Norm
10) Dave
11) Mike
12) Dan



Dennis Green Memorial Patch



Good Luck to All!!!



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The Commish

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