Playoff edition Bozo of the week:
The New York Jets –
All you had to do was go to Buffalo, (where the fans aren’t satisfied with putting each other through tables anymore, they’re upping the ante and trying to put THEMSELVES through FLAMING tables… they also have unusual forms of sledding) and beat your former head coach after he already beat you in New York. They’ve got nothing to play for, you can be in the playoffs. Then you remembered that you’re “the Jets.” You were down 13-0 before you knew it and lost 22-17. You will now be at home watching the playoffs. Also, congratulations for getting the 20th selection in the first round of the NFL draft.
I still think Brian Orakpo said it best…
Yo, man, WHAT?!?!?
Stephen Ross, your Miami Dolphins just finished the season 6-10, last in the AFC East. Behind Rex Ryan and Tyrod Taylor who beat you by a combined 74-31. Behind the god forsaken bozo of the week Jets who thumped you by a combined score of 65-34. And somehow, STILL, you had the temerity, the unmitigated gall, the disgusting proclamation that ‘except on the playing field’ you’re ‘probably the first-class organization in the National Football League’. Yo, man, I know you did a fantastic job developing the Time Warner Center in NYC, and your donations to the University of Michigan ($313M and counting) are mindboggling, but COME ON MAN, WHAT WE DOIN OUT THERE, MAN?!?!
Under his stewardship the following has happened to this once proud franchise:
· Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony, Jimmy Buffett, Jennifer Lopez, Fergie, Venus Williams, and Serena Williams were brought in as minority owners to try to help spur public interest
· You failed to secure multimillion-dollar funding from the state for renovations of Sun Life/Land Shark/Pro Player/Joe Robbie Stadium and local speculation is that you want to move the team to Palm Beach which sounds great until you realize that Palm Beach is 71 miles from Miami. That’s MUCH further away from Miami than the Patriots are to Boston(28 miles) and the 49ers are now to San Francisco(55 miles).
· You acquired Brandon Marshall from the Broncos then immediately didn’t know how to use him and had arguably his 2 worst seasons as a pro and did things like run out of bounds for no reason.
· You attempted to hire Jim Harbaugh as new coach of the Dolphins while forgetting that you didn’t fire your present coach, Tony Sparano. When Harbaugh decided to coach the 49ers instead, you apologized to Sparano by giving him a 2 year contract extension. Huh?!?
· Your team started off that year winless until week 9 and Sparano was then fired after losing to the Philadelphia Eagles because Ross claimed that rumors of Sparano’s job security were becoming a distraction. Gee, I wonder how those rumors started at all?
· You hired Joe Philbin who had no head coaching experience.
· You had your center, Mike Pouncey rocking a ‘Free Hernandez’ hat at a club when Aaron Hernandez was arrested for 1st degree murder (of which he was later convicted – and he’s still finding ways to get into trouble while in jail)
· You had the Richie Incognito-Jonathan Martin bullying scandal
· That scandal forced the creation of a ‘task force’ full of famous names which we still haven’t heard from yet.
· You hired Dennis Hickey to be GM in 2014. Then hired Mike Tannenbaum, failed NY Jets executive, to be executive VP of football operations in 2015, even though Hickey brought in his contract to show you that you CONTRACTUALLY gave Hickey power to pick all football personnel.
· Your savior QB, Ryan Tannehill’s wife, Lauren, decided it would be a good idea to forget an AR-15 rifle in the back of a rental car. I can’t begin with all of the questions about that. Why does she have it? How can you forget something like that? Why did she need a rental car? What kind of decision making is going on in the Tannehill household? Meanwhile, the Dolphins front office WILDLY overrates Ryan’s QB ability and standing in the league, believing he’s an elite player who has been shackled by conservative coaching. The kids have a term for this kind of thinking. I believe it’s O.M.G. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
· Miko Grimes – Wife of CB Brent who rips everyone and everything Dolphin related on social media. She also was arrested at the stadium while attending a Dolphins game earlier this year. She also gets unique birthday cakes for Brent. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T GOOGLE ‘BRENT GRIMES BIRTHDAY CAKES’ UNTIL YOU GET HOME!!! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. DO NOT GOOGLE THAT AT WORK!!!
· You fired Joe Philbin after 4 games of 2015, because that move always works to get a team into the playoffs. The OC and DC were fired piecemeal after that, not WITH the head coach so there was no continuity under your new caveman interim coach Man Campbell who was best known for being a TE on the 0-16 Lions and ending his 10 year NFL career with 91 catches for 934 yards and 11 TD.
You know what? Screw it! Stephen M. Ross, YOU are the bozo of the week! This incompetence is absurd! The Jets are demoted to 2nd place, because it looks like Todd Bowles at least has a clue about what he’s doing. I see no such clue here for you, Mr. Ross. This demotion also has the added benefit of the Jets again somehow losing something that they thought they had already wrapped up.
Dead Man Coaching
The last 5 coaching changes in the AFC North have all been by the Cleveland Browns.
Eric Mangini – my god with Rob Ryan too! Hard to believe men of such outstanding intellect are unemployed still.
Meanwhile, no one seems to know where the hell Johnny Manziel is or where he was for game 17.
I think what it means to be a Browns fan can be summed up by this picture: The horror… THE HORROR!!!!
In the College Game:
The SEC went on a smooth 8-1 run in bowl games. The one loss? My Gators who were shellacked by Michigan in the Citrus Bowl. Florida ended the year by scoring 2, 15 and 7. In case you were wondering, why yes, the 15 DID include an 85 yard punt return. Looks like ol’ Raccoon eyes McElwain has some work to do, oh offensive genius…
Meanwhile, Darth Saban continued to put the beat down on people, and the NY Jets infection reached into the college game to a team with the same colors as Alabama beat Michigan St. 38-0 in the Cotton Bowl. Alabama’s defensive front 7 is one of the best he’s ever coached. Alabama finished first in the nation in scoring defense, allowing only 13.4 ppg. (that number includes giving up 43 to Ole Miss)
Clemson beat Oklahoma 37-17 in the Orange Bowl, riding Deshaun Watson and Wayne Gallman on offense and Shaq Lawson and Ben Boulware on defense to set up the National Championship game (Glendale, AZ) on 1/11.
How is Gronk this week?
He’s doing well at a WWE event in Providence. Of COURSE he’s boys with the ‘Stay Hyped’ crew because, duh!
Is one of the members wearing a shirt that says ‘Bro Me’? You bet he is!!!
He also put out a book during the summer where he talks about a) having women over for slip and slide and b) cooking eggs naked at 2-3am. With Gronk this is seen as adorable. I don’t think it would be viewed in the same way if it was Pacman Jones.
End of year Wrap up Party
It was suggested by a league participant that in that person’s other league, they have an end of year wrap up party. Just a get together to celebrate the year, pass out trophies, have some food and drinks and a couple of laughs. I would be happy to have one with our league, but I would like to know if everyone else is interested. It wouldn’t be anything terribly formal, Maybe a 5:45p after work party or something like out to watch the AFC/NFC Championship or Super Bowl (although that’s on so late at night). Please vote and let me know if you’re interested by replying to this email.
Do you want an End of Season party?
If you do, would you like it after work or on the weekend?
The Great Roster Freeze:
For next year’s draft, everyone’s roster is frozen right now. I have written everyone’s roster down and this is what will be used to determine your 2 keepers for next season. This does not mean that you can’t make free agent acquisitions/drops. It just means that for the purposes of next year’s draft, all of those roster transactions will be null and void and all rosters will revert to what they are today.
If you’d like to see everyone’s roster, please CLICK HERE. You can also see the history of the league’s statistics fully updated.
Here is your draft order for the 2016 season:
Good Luck to All!!!