Week 16 recap, Payouts

Week 16 Recap:
Dan rode HIS red hot QB – wait for it – BLAKE BORTLES, who over the last 5 weeks has averaged 34.82 ppg to his THIRD Atlantic Football Inc. Championship! Latavius Murray (17.70) and mid-season pick-up Karlos Williams (12.70) helped along with the Buffalo Defense (21.00). That’s right… the Championship was decided by Jacksonville, Oakland and Buffalo. And if THAT doesn’t convince you that what we’re doing is completely idiotic, I don’t know what to tell you. Congratulations, Dan for winning the Vincent Bo Jackson Wilfork Lombardi trophy!!!
As for Mike, THIS is what happens when your star player who was averaging 30.6 ppg for your team throws up his worst performance of the year in the biggest game. Cam Newton put up a 14.70, Gronk had a mediocre game for Gronk, and that’s all she wrote.
 3rd Place
Dave got Allen Robinson (21.10), Tim Hightower (28.90) and the ancient one, Frank Gore (21.50) to put up monster numbers to offset a terrible performance by Aaron Rodgers (8.45) and beat Norm, who must have had Kim manage his team for the third place game, as he started Alshon Jeffery, which would have been a good idea, except he was out for the game. If only he had Allen Hurns (22.60) on his bench who he could have started in Alshon’s place… oh, he did?!?! Jacksonville’s defense didn’t help Norman out either, as they put up a Negative 7.00.
Week 16 Bozo of the week:

Odell Beckham Jr.
Congratulations, Odell!! You somehow got TWO personal fouls called against you when Josh Norman CB of Carolina pwned you all game. This included somehow taking your helmet off after a play while on the field and NOT getting a penalty even though there’s a rather famous incident when taking your helmet off was the direct cause of a loss for the Browns and win for the Chiefs.  You also punched Cortland Finnegan in the head but got a personal foul called on Finnegan… HUH?!?!?! You then came back strong for your THIRD personal foul with a blind-side straight up missile shot to the side of the head with the crown of your helmet and STILL didn’t get tossed out of the game. I have NO idea what the EIGHT referees were looking at to not throw you out.

It’s a good thing you didn’t have a 15 yard sprint right before that hit… oh, wait, you did.
He already pulled this nonsense against Buffalo earlier this season. It’s a damn shame someone so talented is such a hothead.
Luckily, you didn’t cost your team anything, otherwise VP of Football Operations Dan Culver would have to have called you in for a stern talking to.
Second Place: The NFL for their ‘no strings attached’ CTE Grant
So when you say ‘no strings attached’ but retain veto power, what exactly does that mean? Those two things seem to be incongruous when combined. The NFL “gave” $30 million dollars as an ‘unrestricted gift’ to research of CTE. That sure SOUNDS like they want to clean things up for their workforce. It is also a complete PR move and they’ll fight every finding that comes from that money if it will end up hurting their wallets.
This is EXACTLY the same type of BS public relations move that is the NFL’s bread and butter. Do you remember when Jonathan Martin of the Dolphins was bullied by Richie Incognito to the point where he walked out on the team? That was a thing… How did the Dolphins handle that situation? Why they put together a ‘task force’ with big names that was going to figure out what happened and come up with a solution of what to do moving forward!! Sounds great! Except that was November 2013 and we still have nothing from them. The whole incident just went away. No one in the media has asked any questions. The NFL hired resident jack-wagon Ted Wells to investigate the incident and he came out with his report HERE.
Also, what did the Dolphins do earlier this year after firing their head coach? They hired a crazy Tight Ends coach Dan ‘Man’ Campbell who actively wants fights between offense and defense, started his tenure by putting the team through Oklahoma drills and tug of war.
Speaking of the NFL and health issues:

Even MORE Miss Universe:
One of the better videos from the judging area you’ll ever see: Yes, that’s Perez Hilton and then Hall of Famer Emmitt Smith. My skin crawls because I’m so uncomfortable watching the whole thing… AND I’m laughing…
At least Steve Harvey made up for his mistake by apologizing for his mistake… ‘but it’s still a great night!!!’ by putting out this tweet immediately after the show.

Bruh, it’s Philippines and Colombia.
At least Steve can laugh at himself, as his Instagram picture shows (Merry Easter)

Meanwhile, Earvin ‘Magic’ Johnson put out this tweet, before the contest had actually, you know, finished.

It hasn’t been the best week for ‘ol Magic. First, his baseball team, The Dodgers lost the reigning Cy Young Award Winner Zack Greinke to the Arizona Diamondbacks, then he tried to congratulate retiring superstar of the World Cup Champion US Women’s National Soccer team Abby Wambach.

I’m not going to quibble with the Magic man over whether you can possibly be ONE of the GOATs when GOAT stands for Greatest of All Time, suggesting you either are or aren’t, BUT what I CAN quibble with is praising someone when not knowing her actual name.
Happy Holidays, everyone!!!
You thought the Steelers are on an unstoppable roll?!?!?! You are WRONG, my friend! Just have them sing Christmas carols and watch the ineptitude!
I don’t know which is worse/greater… that one or Rasheed Wallace’s Pistons version.
Which is your favorite? (Use Voting buttons)
How is Gronk convalescing this week?
Gronk is back and even though the Christmas season has come and gone, maybe you still want this for your favorite Patriots fan?

He’s also a spokesperson for a new smartphone game called MOBILE STRIKE that already has Arnold Schwarzenegger as another spokesperson.
I think Gronk is starting to get into Peyton Manning commercial territory. I mean, would you be surprised to see him next in a commercial at a deli chanting ‘Cut That Meat’?
If you had a bad Christmas, maybe this guy is responsible
Yo, looks like St. Nick has some competition. He’s from the dark side and NOT happy your cookies have gluten.

Maybe these guys need to have some egg nog and stop fighting so much.
In the college game:
Pittsburgh v. Navy
Ok, a bowl celebrating the military with a team from a branch of the military, no biggie. Kinda nice.
California v. Air Force
Hey, wait a minute! I’d be cool with one bowl specifically honoring military, but TWO? How can we be swimming in debt and have TWO US Military vendors have so much cash that they think it would be a great idea to sponsor separate bowl games?
Nevada v. Colorado State
Oh, look another financial institution tying themselves to home loans, what could go wrong?
LSU v. Texas Tech
Yeah, I had to look that up too… vitamin chews. God damned vitamin chews…
NC State v. Mississippi State
Nope, might as well have the Macy’s bowl or the JC Penney Bowl while you’re at it.
Texas A&M v. Louisville
Again, what have we learned about mortgage companies throwing around cash?
USC v. Wisconsin
I have no idea who National Funding is.
Orange Bowl 4:00 p.m.- ESPN
(4) Oklahoma v (1) Clemson

Cotton Bowl 8:00 p.m. – ESPN
(3) Michigan State v. (2) Alabama

Northwestern v. Tennessee
The BEST mascot in bowl history

(Bloomin’ Onion) AND the worst

(Coconut Shrimp)
Notre Dame v. Ohio State
That’s what you get for losing 3 games between you by a total of 7 points. You go to a bowl that sounds like it’s a new toy brought to you by the makers of G.I. Joe. (Actually, Battlefrog is a company that sponsors events like Tough Mudder, Spartan, Warrior Dash, Mud and Adventure, etc.)
Penn State v. Georgia
Yeah, I got nothing here…
Glendale, AZ 8:30 p.m. – ESPN
Winner of Orange Bowl v. Winner of Cotton Bowl
Playoff Payouts:

1st: $200 – Dan
2nd: $120 – Mike
3rd: $40 – Dave
Thank you to everyone for a fine year. Congratulations to the winners.
Last Year’s Winner
Penny Pincher
Deion, Nelly, Wu-Tang, Biggie Smalls and Eric B & Rakim take the season out with a bang!

The Commish

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