Week 15 Recap:
Week 15 Bozo of the week:
Martin Shkreli – If that name rings a bell, but you can’t remember why you remember his name, he’s the Pharmaceutical exec who raised drug prices for people suffering from parasitic infections as a result of AIDS or cancer from $13.50 to $750.00.
He also used some of the money he gained from that venture to purchase the one and only copy of the Wu-Tang Clan’s newest and only copy ever made of their album years in the making. Needless to say, hip-hop fans were not impressed. He then showed his full douchebag credentials by putting out the trolly-est tweet I’ve seen in a while:
Profiteering off of the backs of sick/terminal patients is a disgusting practice and the practitioner of such should be made to take a flaming, toxic, spiked, syphilis and dysentery covered adult toy up through his rectum and out through his urethra.
Well, this week, the tables have turned (sort of) because Martin got arrested for securities fraud relating to his PREVIOUS job as a hedge fund guy. I guess it’s like an apprenticeship. You have to learn your craft of being the biggest jerk/douche on Wall Street from the pros before spreading your wings and screwing as many people as possible on your own, right?
I’m not expecting a happy ending here with Martin becoming a human vending machine for prison sex for his cellmates: Lil Pookie and Zeus. I’m more expecting that he has sheltered a whole bunch of cash, hired some scummy lawyers to get him out of this and he’ll be back figuring out new ways of screwing the silent majority over before being hired on CNN as an analyst and then running for President in 2036.
Second place: Steve Harvey – If you host an awards show/pageant, you really have one job. You need to properly read the names/countries of the contestants and in what order they finished. Steve just hosted the Miss Universe pageant and, well, let’s say he got the names right and the order wrong. That, of course, led to a scene of Steve checking his winners card again, and looking at it like this:
Announcing that he had made a mistake, saying that Miss Colombia was NOT the winner, but Miss Philippines was, that led to THIS scene where you can actively see Miss Colombia’s brain plotting WHO exactly she will call to put a hit out on Steve when she gets back home. The word salty comes to mind.
Which was immediately memed by the interwebs…
Not to let Steve completely off the hook but that wasn’t the only screwed up thing with the results card:
Your word for the day, children: Elimination
Because they can’t throw TWO flags if you keep dancing, right?
You THINK you’re going to celebrate on Christmas? On New Year’s Eve? No. You’re not.
William Gay CB, Pittsburgh gets down in the Cincinnati Bengals end zone better than you and he’s not even drinking alcohol to help him out. Keep watching THROUGH the referee’s explanation to see where he hits new heights.
How is Gronk convalescing this week?
Why invest in another boring restaurant when you could have your own party bus business instead?!?
Also, here’s an NFL.com video about it with the man himself.
San-ta Duck is com-ing… to haunt your dreams, little girl…
The best Christmas pic you’ve seen in quite a while. Thank you University of Oregon… thank you. God Bless us, every one.
Want a beverage but are too lazy to get up from the couch AND you’re you a Star Wars fan?
Looks like you’re in luck, if you’re flush with cash… Haier Asia has produced a replica R2-D2 mini refrigerator. No, I’m not kidding.
The price tag is a little steep for most people. But if you just HAVE to have your own Artoo, now it’s going to be available to you.
Maybe you’re more of a flying drone person. Gotcha covered. It just depends if you want a TIE fighter or a Star Destroyer.
Finally, here’s a remote control AT-AT walker with sound effects. It’s a good time to be a nerd.
The next great rap duo…
In the beginning, there was Eric B. & Rakim and EPMD
Then came the GREAT Outkast, Mobb Deep and Black Star
Y’all thought Dre and Eminem were the kings? Maybe from ’99-06.
The kings are dead, all hail the new kings.. Jay and ‘Ye! Maybe in 2011-2013
Jay and ‘Ye better watch their backs because they TALK about power, but this new duo has REAL power. You’ve seen them on your TV, you’ve heard them talked ABOUT all the time, but they’re comin’ at the kings and ain’t gonna miss.
That’s right, all the way from Italy via Argentina and from Chicago via Hawaii, it’s the REAL Power duo:
Don’t sleep on the Prez. He’s already got many hits he’s dropped like: Hotline Bling, Can’t Feel My Face and Uptown Funk.
The Pope has mic skills that are certified as divine… He’s got his own Flavor Flav hype man behind him in the second pic, he’s kickin it old school Fat Boys style in the third pic. My man Pope Francis has the skillz that pay the bills (on CD).
All they need now is to recruit the greatest human beatboxer on earth, and they’ll create music so outstanding that all future civilizations will base society off of their music. I believe they are going to call themselves: Wyld Stallyns !!!
In the college game:
The R& L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Arkansas State v Louisiana Tech (because they need a local to get ANYONE to come watch)
Georgia State(6-6) v San Jose State(5-7)
Seriously, there are WAY too many bowl games.
Akron v Utah State
Yes, they did make the football look like a baked potato for the logo
Your mascot for the game:
Boise State v Northern Illinois
‘Jesus tap-dancing Christ on a cracker’ has as many words comprising it as this bowl game
Georgia Southern v Bowling Green
Bowling Green is actually fun and they score a lot of points
Middle Tennessee v Western Michigan
a) What does Popeyes have to do with the Bahamas at ALL?!?! Their slogan: ‘Louisiana Fast’ – Huh?!?!
b) The 2014 game produced THE craziest finish to ANY bowl game last year.
Washington v Southern Mississippi
Zaxby’s is another fried chicken joint… like Popeyes and like Chick-Fil-A. Looks like the bowl market is being entirely sponsored by auto parts/lubricant providers and fried chicken places.
Tulsa v Virginia Tech
Camping World is big and is profitable, I guess?!?
UCLA v Nebraska
Foster Farms – ANOTHER chicken provider
Central Michigan v Minnesota
Wow, that one sounds really prestigious
The question you should be asking is: When I was younger, we had the Orange, Holiday, Liberty, Independence, Sugar, Rose, Fiesta, Cotton and Gator bowls. Where the hell did all of THESE bowl games come from? Let my friend Gordon explain:
Week 16 Thursday Games:
San Diego at Oakland
Special: SATURDAY GAME!!!
Washington at Philadelphia
Week 16 Byes:
Kansas City has a bye week masquerading as a game against Cleveland.
Pittsburgh the same thing against Baltimore.
1st: $200 –
2nd: $120 –
3rd: $40 –
3rd Place Matchup
Good Luck to All!!!