Week 12 Recap, Week 13 preview

Week 12 Recap:
Chris
93.50
V
Jodie
86.75
Mike
79.25
V
Dave
117.20
Kim
114.45
V
Marc
68.00
Doug
74.90
V
Dan
97.70
Greg
122.50
V
Ed
77.45
Brian
136.45
V
Norm
100.50
Week 12 Bozo of the week:

It’s a TIE!!! Your winners/losers are: the NFL Network and Jerry Jones for having the hubris to think that a Jerry Jones Twitter AMA would turn out just swimmingly. To the surprise of absolutely no one who has been on the information superhighway for more than trolly-seven seconds it turned into a swarm of:
a) questions
b) not about performance of his team
c) all about the people he chooses to sign to play or
d) hypotheticals of who he would sign to play for America’s team.
It went from:
“How can you look your wife and daughter in the eyes after signing Greg Hardy? “
To:
                “If you could go back in time and murder baby Hitler, would you do it or sign him as a defensive back?”
Good job, NFL Network & JJ. You’re making America great again!
Second place goes again to Spider 2 Y Banana who thought he could outsmart everyone and pick up a QB off of IR who would come back and propel his team to championship glory! But, instead, he looks Chip Kelly-like in his personnel evaluation, got a smooth negative 3.70 points and a re-injured collar bone for Mr. Tony Romo. He has now picked the wrong QB to start for his god-forsaken team 5 out of the las 6 weeks. Great job, Commish!!!
Poor Cleveland… Poor, poor god-damned Cleveland
Please console anyone from Applied if they call soon, as they should be in deep mourning. It’s one thing for your team to stink and you know it and they know it and they get crushed week in and week out. It’s another thing for your team to stink, yet they give you hope, bring you to the precipice of joy, then turn into a combination of whatever came out of the Arc of the Covenant in Indiana Jones 1 and Moleram from Indiana Jones 2 and rip your heart/soul/guts/joy/hope out of you.

I know it’s been a while, Red Sox fans, but try to remember every game they played before the last pitch of the 2004 World Series.
Cleveland had their bitter rivals, Baltimore (who, if you remember, LEFT Cleveland when Art Modell couldn’t get a new stadium built) in town for Monday Night football. Both teams are terrible, but Cleveland fans still have a deep hatred of the Ravens for how they left. Cleveland’s starting QB went out with a throwing shoulder injury. The esteemed Austin Davis took over as QB (because Johnny Manziel decided partying in Austin TX and putting it on social media after being in rehab earlier this year and having a traffic incident where his female companion suggested domestic violence would be an outstanding look… his coach disagreed and demoted him to third string) and down 20-27, threw a game tying TD with 1:58ish left in the game. What happened next is pure magic. The Ravens punted, the Browns punted, the Ravens threw an INT at midfield with 0:55 left. Cleveland moved the ball to the Baltimore 34 and attempted a game winning FG with 0:03 left. The kick was blocked straight right, Baltimore picked it up and returned the ball all the way for the game winning TD. Good God.
Nevermind that Baltimore was lined up offsides on the play.

This is life in Cleveland. ZERO championships since 1964!!! Hey, I root for the friggin BUCCANEERS and I feel bad for these people. There is a reason people in Cleveland call the Browns Stadium the Factory of Sadness.
THIS GUY deserves something. Maybe a guest appearance on the world’s strongest man competition.
Sorry Cleveland fans, I feel for you.

Yes, Jim Harbaugh is STILL completely insane:

This week, he became the first Michigan coach to attend the annual ‘graveyard walk’ past all of the famed Michigan coaches. They stopped at Bo Schembechler’s grave, he placed a stone on it, a buckeye nut, pulled out a maize and blue hammer and crushed the nut on the grave.
Earlier this month, he was asked about how to grow up big and strong and he listed what his 4 ‘natural steroids’ are. I don’t think nutritionists would agree, but I’m not telling a crazy person that.
It’s important to remember that this is a man who was ONE PLAY FROM WINNING THE SUPER BOWL!!!
His team then went out AT HOME and got monkey stomped by THE Ohio State University 42-13.
In the ‘Association’
If you ever thought you’d like to completely embarrass yourself by trying to recreate a rap video with you as the star, don’t worry, the Toronto Raptors have you covered.
Also, there’s nothing quite like outraged Australian announcers at a basketball game.
In the world of Futbol:
If you made a mistake today, just be glad it wasn’t on live television all over Europe.
In the college game:
I know this is an NFL league, but please catch a couple of NCAA games…

The (12)Florida offense was a goddamned disgrace for the umpteenth week and their outstanding defense couldn’t hold up any longer as (13)Florida State wore them down and eventually scored 2 late TDs in the Swamp to win 27-2. Two? That’s all we got is two goddamned points?!? Good luck against (2) Alabama in the SEC championship game, kiddos. Wait, what? Alabama opened as a 17 point favorite? Do yourself a favor and GIVE THE POINTS!!! Meanwhile, Lucifer Nick Saban continues to give ZERO f—s about the health of his players as he pounded his running back Derrick Henry into the Auburn defense 46 times for 271 yards in their 29-13 win. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. 46. FORTY FREAKIN SIX carries. And in case you were wondering, why YES, that IS a school record for carries in a game. By comparison, Adrian Peterson leads the NFL in carries this year and his high in a game is 29. The NFL record is 45 carries by Jamie Morris (Wash v Cin 12/17/88).
(1)Clemson snuck by in-state rival South Carolina 37-32. (14) North Carolina went up 35-7 then held on against NC State 45-34. That sets up the ACC Championship game between the two. Clemson wins, they’re in the playoff. If North Carolina wins, all hell breaks loose.
(3) Oklahoma wrapped up a playoff spot with a trouncing at (11) Oklahoma State 58-23.
(4) Iowa had a hard fought win in the snow at Nebraska 28-20 as Iowa’s MVP of the game was Tommy Armstrong – Nebraska’s QB who threw 4 INTs. Jesus, with a stat line like that, maybe he will be drafted by Washington or as  a backup for Eli with the Giants.
(5) Michigan State put the beatdown on Penn State 55-16. Those teams will play in the Big Ten (even though there are 14) championship game. The winner of that game will be in the playoffs.
(6) Notre Dame took a late lead AT (9) Stanford as they scored a TD with 00:30 left in the fourth to take a 36-35 lead, but completely screwed the pooch on defense, allowing Stanford to drive down the field and kick a 45 yard FG FTW and Stanford won 38-36.
Week 13 Thursday Games:
Um, this is awkward… 2 teams that played on Thanksgiving play on Thursday again
Green Bay AT Detroit

Week 13 Byes:
No more byes got me like:  https://youtu.be/gzD50-jYcKk?t=15s
League Standings:
Nuts
Team
Record
Pts
3
Yo Soy Fiesta
7-5
1130.85
4
The Bumble Bunch
6-6
1236.65
5
Mike’s High Flyers
6-6
1148.95
6
Eddie’s Eagles
6-6
1144.60
Bolts
1
Culver’s Crusaders
9-3
1360.95
8
PMS
6-6
1073.70
10
Wild Eyed & Wicked
6-6
1126.95
11
Marc’s Majestic Team
5-7
1089.30
Screws
2
Butch’s Bonecrushers
7-5
1207.55
7
Spider 2 Y Banana
6-6
1109.15
9
Full Goose Bozo’s
5-7
1236.50
12
Jodie’s Generals
4-8
1053.55
Week 13 Matchups
And DOWN the stretch they come!!! Some teams act like THIS, others, not so much (2:22 mark AND 2:40)
Chris
V
Norm
Mike
V
Greg
Kim
V
Dan
Doug
V
Marc
Dave
V
Ed
Brian
V
Jodie
Good Luck to All!!!
The Commish
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